11 Things A Truly Loving Mom Will Always Do For Her Adult Kids
Allowing your kids to become their own independent adults is both scary and exciting.
carlesmiro / Shutterstock As children grow into adulthood, parenting them looks a lot different compared to when they were adolescents. Sometimes parents struggle with trying to figure out how to be there for their adult children without crossing any boundaries or overstepping to the point where their children feel that it might be best to put some distance between them because they don't feel heard and respected. Knowing this, there are some specific things a truly loving mom will always do for her adult kids.
For mothers, it can probably be bittersweet watching their adult children come into their own. While they want to offer guidance, it can be challenging to find a balance between doing so and letting them learn on their own. A truly loving mom understands this process and allows room for her children to grow while also letting them know she's still in their corner if they need her.
Here are 11 things a truly loving mom will always do for her adult kids
1. She'll encourage their independence
ViDI Studio | Shutterstock
A truly loving mom will want her children to come into their own as they transition into adulthood. That means making sure they're encouraging their independence and making sure they're making the right decisions for themselves and the life they want to create.
She won't try and input her opinions on their life unless they're specifically asking her, and at the end of the day, she trusts their judgement enough to know they can create a future that will satisfy them.
"The journey to adulthood is increasingly complex and challenging for today's young adults. As parents, the goal is to provide a supportive environment that fosters independence, resilience, and self-sufficiency," explained Ugo Uche, a licensed professional counselor.
"This balanced approach ensures that support does not become enabling but empowers young adults to launch successfully into the next phase of their lives."
2. She's always honest with them
Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock
Even as she watches her children come into their own, she never stops having those tough conversations with them, even if it makes them uncomfortable, because she knows it's through this open dialogue that they can continue to have a fruitful relationship. She doesn't shy away from providing feedback, especially if she knows that the feedback can drastically improve her kids' lives and circumstances.
"Given that children learn from and imitate their parents, striving to be more honest and open with your kids is going to have a positive impact on their development. Modeling honest behavior, and reinforcing your children for being truthful, is a good strategy," explained psychologist Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D.
Not only does she not shy away from honesty, but she also isn't afraid to open up about her own experiences with her adult children, especially from when she was their age. Through these conversations and having honesty, it allows for their relationship to be stronger than ever.
3. She respects their autonomy
Ocskay Mark | Shutterstock
As children begin to transform into their adulthood, they start to curate their personalities and sense of self. A truly loving mother is not only aware of that happening, but she also has the utmost respect for her children figuring out who they are and not trying to infringe on their autonomy.
The key is for parents to make themselves available to their child, without explicitly offering advice, explained clinical psychologist, Karen Molano, PsyD. Instead of offering advice right away, Molano suggested asking something like, "Would you like my input, or do you just need to talk it through?"
This shift allows parents to “foster independence while keeping the relationship open and respectful." A truly loving mom is able to acknowledge her adult children's capacity for self-sufficiency, but she also allows the door to still be open if they need help every now and again.
4. She encourages them to take responsibility
BAZA Production | Shutterstock
Instead of coddling them or enabling bad behavior so they can see the consequences for themselves, a loving mom will encourage and insist that her adult children take responsibility for their actions, especially if it didn't turn out their way.
This doesn't mean that she's imposing unnecessary burdens onto her children but rather allowing them to learn from their mistakes because that's what adulthood is about. It's about making those mistakes and growing from them, which she heavily encourages with her kids.
"At this developmental phase, it's appropriate to focus on being a mentor rather than a director in your child's life," encouraged Carly Harris, LMFT, a family program director for young adult services, Newport Healthcare.
5. She avoids financial enabling
fizkes | Shutterstock
Part of being an adult is learning about finances and making the best financial decisions without the help or assistance from our parents. While it's natural to want to support your kids when they're experiencing financial habits, a loving mom knows the difference between offering support and completely hindering their ability to stand on their own two feet.
With the times we're living in currently, it's rare for a young adult to be financially independent. A Pew Research Center analysis found that 55% of 18- to 34-year-olds are not completely financially independent of their parents.
However, a loving mom still tries her best to instill the importance of financial stability within her adult children, even if it means having to help them out every once in a while.
6. She sets clear boundaries
pics five | Shutterstock
"Setting boundaries with your adult child is about promoting healthy relationships and mutual respect. It's an ongoing process that requires open communication, understanding, and flexibility from both parties. Setting healthy boundaries with your adult child is an important aspect of maintaining a balanced and respectful relationship," explained psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D.
A loving mom is not only aware of the importance of setting boundaries with her adult children, but she knows that in order to maintain a healthy relationship with them, she needs to not only respect their boundaries but have her own as well. It means saying "no" when she needs to and communicating openly with them about when she's available and when she's not.
7. She actively listens to them
VGstockstudio | Shutterstock
Active listening goes beyond just hearing what someone is saying, but rather being engaged, responding when needed, and being empathetic to a person's words and emotions. A truly loving mother not only listens when her adult children have something they need to get off their chest, but she also gives them her full attention.
Because of this, adult children are more likely to go to her with problems and seek her advice knowing they'll be met with nothing but understanding and validation.
8. She stays connected with them
shurkin_son | Shutterstock
As adult children become more comfortable in their adulthood, their schedules may end up being a bit more unpredictable. Instead of throwing a fit and demanding their attention, a loving mom manages to stay connected with them without pressuring them to speak and see her. She understands that her kids are busy with their own lives and would never want them to feel as if she doesn't respect their time.
She shows interest in their lives and interests without being too intrusive, and she allows her adult children to come to her instead of making them feel uncomfortable.
9. She shows affection in ways they'll appreciate
fizkes | Shutterstock
A loving mom takes the time to understand the ways her adult children appreciate affection instead of just trying to force it upon them. Some adult children prefer words of affirmation, while others may find comfort in acts of service or quality time. A mom who wants to cherish and nurture a healthy relationship with her kids not only takes the time to learn about their different styles of receiving love but is also patient with them about it.
By showing them affection in the ways they can appreciate it, she's not only strengthening their bond but making sure they know they're being cared for.
10. She celebrates their success
Sabrina Bracher | Shutterstock
A truly loving mother finds happiness in being able to celebrate her adult children's various successes and achievements. She's the support system in their corner every time and makes sure to boost their confidence and sense of worth whenever they do something that is impressive, even if it might seem small and unimportant to them.
She makes sure to encourage them to pursue anything they want to, and is a safe space for them to talk about their dreams and goals without making them feel as if it's unattainable, especially if they're excited and driven to complete it.
11. She's a source of unconditional love
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
No matter how old her kids get, a loving mother will always be a source of unconditional love for them. She's a shoulder if they need it, a listening ear if they need to vent, and a presence that they can always count on. Just because they're adults living their own lives and creating a future for themselves doesn't mean she'll never stop seeing them as her kids that she raised.
Life can be quite unpredictable, but adult children know that they can always depend on their mother to be a constant figure in their lives that provides them with love, care, and an unwavering amount of support.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.