11 Strict Parenting Rules People Make Fun Of But Actually Make Kids Better People
You might think it's silly to hold kids to certain standards, but doing so ensures they grow up to be decent humans.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock The best parenting style to use mainly comes down to personal choice, despite what social media may have you think. Parents have an obligation to keep their kids safe, clothed, and fed, and give them love and support. Meeting their emotional and social needs is essential, but there aren’t necessarily hard and fast rules on how to do so.
When it comes to parenting advice, the best thing to do is to take what works and leave the rest. A laidback, free range approach might fit one family, but that same technique could cause chaos in a different family.
Here are 11 strict parenting rules people make fun of but actually make kids better people
1. No screens at the dinner table
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In an era when most kids are glued to their phones 24/7, enforcing a strict “no screens during mealtime” rule actually makes them better people. Getting kids to ditch their screens might seem like a struggle, but the benefits of an analog family dinner are worth it.
According to intuitive eating counselor Lisa Newman, having at least one meal together sets kids up with lifelong, healthy eating habits. Yet family meals are about much more than food. They provide a sense of structure and time to decompress after a long day apart. Sharing a meal is a way for families to reconnect, especially when phones and iPads are forbidden.
Your kids might shudder at the thought of putting their phones away to talk to their parents, of all people, but they’ll understand the value of this strict parenting rule at some point.
And if your kids whine about it, just tell them having dinner without any electronic devices is as vintage as it gets.
2. Bedtime curfews are non-negotiable
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Someday, historians will document the epic bedtime battle between kids who were awake way more than they should be and their very tired parents. Putting kids to bed might seem like a simple task — just tuck them in, turn out the light, and leave — but as every parent knows, kids see bedtime as a boundary waiting to be tested.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve made the executive parenting decision to read two stories, your kids will always demand one more — and another, and another — until your vision goes blurry. Being in bed makes kids so thirsty, they need a glass of water, and they need it served with exactly three ice cubes in their special cup, no, not that special cup, the other special cup.
After you wrapped them in their quilt like a burrito and scratched their back and organized all their stuffies in a straight line, you might think freedom is near, buut you’re so wrong. As you shut the door, your kid will decide it’s the perfect time to ask what happens when someone dies. Cue their first existential crisis and a complete do-over on their bedtime routine.
Setting a curfew for your kids is a parenting rule people make fun of, but it actually makes kids better people. Strict rules around bedtime reinforce good sleep hygiene and give parents a well-deserved break.
3. Mandatory household chores
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People make fun of parents who insist on having a strict chore schedule with a sticker-based incentive initiative, but mandatory chores actually make kids better people. Harvard University conducted a 75-year study looking at the early life factors that predict health and well-being in adulthood. The researchers found that kids who did chores grew up to be more independent adults.
When parents assign chores at an early age, they show kids that maintaining a home isn’t magic. Chores teach kids to be responsible for their space. Even small tasks, like picking up toys or putting their clean clothes away, give kids a sense of purpose and pride, making them better people.
4. Save your allowance
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Making kids save their allowance is a strict parenting rule people make fun of, but it actually makes kids better people. Financial literacy is a learned skill, one that starts at home. Saving their allowance teaches kids about budgeting, the difference between wants and needs, and the value of delayed gratification.
During Gen X and millennial childhoods, getting an allowance meant your mom handed you a couple of crumpled dollar bills after you mowed the lawn, swept the floors, and loaded the dishwasher. Allowance was a teaching tool. Kids learned the value of pitching in around the house, then bought a pack of gum or a slushie.
Since becoming parents, it seems like Gen X and millennials pushed the pendulum far in the opposite direction. According to a survey from the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, an average allowance in 2024 is almost $30 a week. Additionally, 75% of parents said that teaching kids how to save was the most important part of providing an allowance, yet only 3% said they actually made their kids save their money. A majority of their allowance gets spent on friend hangs, digital downloads, and devices.
Your kids probably won’t appreciate it now, but being strict about allowance will make them better people down the road.
5. Send thank-you notes
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Making kids write mandatory thank-you cards is a strict parenting rule people make fun of, but this old-fashioned practice makes kids better people. According to the National Poll on Children’s Health at University of Michigan Health, 75% of parents reported that their kids aren’t grateful for what they have.
“Gratitude is not something that children usually acquire automatically. It needs to be nurtured, in an age-appropriate way." said Sarah Clark, the co-director of the poll.
Taking time to write thank you cards is a tangible way for kids to practice gratitude. They learn to appreciate the gift and the person who gave it to them. Yet only 25% of parents said their kids write thank-you cards on a regular basis.
“There's a difference between politeness and gratitude,” Clark explained. “To help children learn to be grateful, parents also need to emphasize why they're asking their child to say thanks.”
6. Read actual books
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Making strict rules around screentime is an unavoidable aspect of modern parenting. Knowing which rules to enforce and which to let go of helps parents stay consistent. Parents who limit their kids’ iPad use so that they read actual books boost their literacy skills and their emotional development, making them better people.
A study from the journal “Pediatrics” reported that on average, toddlers use digital media for over two hours every day. Reading on an iPad might streamline the whole process, but it’s not as beneficial as reading a physical book.
Reading to kids is an essential activity. Cuddling up and getting lost in a story promotes children's literacy and expands their vocabulary. It also creates deep emotional bonds between parents and kids, yet reading from a screen doesn’t have quite the same effect. The study found that reading printed, paper-bound books significantly increases the quality of communication between kids and parents. Parents who read aloud from physical books talked to their kids more often while telling the story, and their kids responded more, too.
“Tablets and mobile devices are prominent fixtures in modern family life, but they aren't as educational or valuable to children's development as traditional books,” said Tiffany Munzer, a behavioral developmental pediatrician and lead author of the study.
Holding a book in your hands and letting your eyes travel the pages is an immersive, embodied experience, something a screen can never replace. Kids who learn that lesson early on become life-long readers, which makes them better people.
7. Participate in family meetings
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On the surface, enforcing family meetings seems like one of those strict rules that exists for no real reason, but it actually helps kids grow into their best selves. By carving out time to sit together and engage in conversations about their family system, parents instill their kids with a solid set of values.
Kids learn that they play an active role in their family. They learn how to respectfully air their grievances and talk about tough topics in an open, direct way. Family meetings help kids make decisions, solve problems, and see that they’re part of something bigger than themselves. They create a safe space for intentional conversation, which makes kids better people throughout the course of their lives.
8. Go outside every day
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Parents actually make their kids better people when they make them get off the couch and go out into the outside world. Kids who are chronically online miss out on a crucial part of childhood: Exploring the great outdoors.
According to The Child Mind Institute, playing outside makes kids smarter, happier, less anxious, and more attentive than indoor kids. Running through an open field, exploring a forest, or roaming their own backyard gives kids a chance to use their imagination and take part in unstructured play, both of which build their confidence. Being in nature gives kids a chance to discover all the beauty and wonder this world holds. It’s a full-sensory experience that can transform the way kids see themselves.
In his book “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder,” Richard Louv wrote, “As the young spend less and less of their lives in natural surroundings, their senses narrow and this reduces the richness of human experience.”
People make fun of parents for setting strict rules about playing outside, but it gives kids freedom and inspires them to see awe in every twig, every stone, every insect they find.
9. Keep track of your belongings
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Parents guide their kids to become better people by putting them in charge of their own material possessions. When parents see kids struggling, their natural instinct is to swoop in, take charge, and fix the problem. In certain situations, following this instinct keeps kids safe, but in others, it protects them a little too much.
Parents who go into savior-mode every time their kid can't find their sneakers do them a disservice in the long run. Kids who aren’t asked to keep track of their belongings become masters of learned helplessness, which isn’t a good look in adulthood. Putting kids in charge of one small part of their lives teaches them to be responsible and organized.
Parents who don’t head up the search committee to find their kids cleats for the tenth time in one afternoon might seem like they’re being unnecessarily strict, but this is one place where taking a hands-off approach to parenting is best.
10. Homework gets done before anything else
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Parents who uphold strict rules about schoolwork make their kid better students and better people. By setting a clear expectation that doing homework is their kids’ top priority, parents help their kids learn how to manage their time, a skill that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.
As important as it is for kids to spend time with friends and take part in extracurricular activities, it’s equally as important for them to take academics seriously and develop a solid work ethic. Making kids finish their assigned work before doing anything else teaches them to handle tough stuff first, and then, make time for fun.
11. Own your mistakes
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Learning how to take accountability is a lifelong process that starts at a young age. Kids model their behavior after their parents, which is why it’s so important for parents to create a safe container for their kids to make mistakes, take responsibility, and work on resolving them.
Sociologist Dr. Christine Carter revealed that kids can’t own up to their mistakes until they figure out they’re independent people who have agency over their lives. “Children don't realize they control their behavior,” she explained.
As kids get older, they have a stronger grasp on who they are, what they believe in, and how they want to act. It seems counterintuitive, but parents need to step back and let their kids mess up for them to fully integrate what it means to take responsibility for things they’ve done wrong.
“If you correct their mistakes and solve their problems, kids never learn how to do it themselves,” Dr. Carter explained. Parents who balance strict rules with unconditional support and abiding love and affection make their kids better people.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.