11 Things No Self-Respecting Woman Will Put Up With In A Relationship
A woman who truly respects herself sees no reason to be with someone who doesn't value her in the same way.
Sergey Kurbatov / Shutterstock A self-respecting woman knows her worth, and because of that, there are certain things she will never tolerate, no matter how much she cares about someone. She knows that love should never come at the expense of her dignity, peace, or well-being. She'd rather be alone than feel taken for granted or treated with anything less than the same respect she shows herself and others.
Given the many things no self-respecting woman will put up with in a relationship, anyone thinking of dating a woman like this should consider themselves warned to be on their absolute best behavior.
Here are 11 things no self-respecting woman will put up with in a relationship
1. Being disrespected in public or in private
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Whether it be screaming at her in her kitchen or berating her at a restaurant, no self-respecting woman will ever tolerate being disrespected by the person who is supposed to love her unconditionally. She knows that love should never come with humiliation or belittlement.
Allowing our partners to disrespect us only destroys our sense of self-worth and confidence. If a romantic partner disrespects her even once, a self-respecting woman is out the door before her sense of self-worth even takes a hit.
2. Emotional manipulation
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Self-respecting women are well-aware of emotional manipulation tactics that present themselves in many forms, including gaslighting, guilt-tripping and invalidation. For example, if she tells her partner that she needs the weekend to recharge and have time for herself, and he responds with, âWow, I guess spending time with me isnât important,â it will likely be one of the last things he ever says to her before she walks out the door.
No self-respecting woman will be controlled by shame. Emotional manipulation is often about seizing power in a relationship. The ultimate goal is to use that power to control the other person physically, mentally, financially or emotionally. And a self-respecting woman will never allow any of that to take place.
3. Excuses instead of effort
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No self-respecting woman will put up with excuses instead of effort in a relationship. A self-respecting woman knows the difference between empty words and actions. Being told someone is super busy or not good at planning only goes so far. Self-respecting women donât want excuses, they want effort.
They know that if their partners truly valued them, they would go above and beyond to meet their needs rather than making excuses as to why they canât. Effort demonstrates care and commitment, both of which are highly important to self-respecting women. A partner who is unwilling to give the relationship what it needs is not worth their time.
4. Being told sheâs too much for expressing her needs
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Self-respecting women know that they are deserving of someone who has no issue meeting their needs. A man who complains that she wants to FaceTime every few days or have at least one date night a week isn't worth her time.
Every single one of us has emotional, physical and psychological needs. Wanting to feel loved, valued and appreciated is only skimming the surface. A self-respecting woman knows that her needs in a relationship are never too much. She is allowed to ask for basic respect, communication and affection. She knows that her feelings are valid and she wonât shrink them for any man.Â
5. Guilt-tripping
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No self-respecting woman will tolerate being guilt-tripped. If she tells her partner that she plans on getting dinner with a group of girlfriends, and he says something like, âI guess your friends are more important than me but whatever," she will likely clap-back.
People in healthy relationships donât manipulate their partnerâs emotions to make them feel guilty for completely reasonable choices.
âGuilt trips involve efforts to control another personâs behavior by inducing guilt and other negative emotions in them,â notes licensed psychologist Guy Winch. âMost guilt trippers rarely consider the long-term impact of their actions. But even in non-romantic relationships (friendships or parents and children), guilt trips have been shown to create resentment in the guilt-induced person and drops in their overall relationship satisfaction as a result.â
Self-respecting women rarely stick around for their guilt-tripping partners to experience the consequences of their behavior. It will all become apparent in her absence.
6. Lack of basic communication
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A self-respecting woman values clarity, honesty, and emotional maturity in her relationships. If her partner lacks even the most basic communication, such as sending her a text when heâs heading home or failing to make plans to get together, she won't hesitate to call him out on it or leave him behind.
Even the most simple forms of communication mean the world to self-respecting women.
âImproving communication is one of the most common components of relationship education programs and therapy. Few happy couples naturally use expressive skills and listening skills, but they improve satisfaction,â explained Norman B. Epstein, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. âPartners attach meaning to each other's communication, regarding how much their personal needs will be met.â
Self-respecting women know that open communication helps them understand their partnerâs needs, perspectives and desires, as well as their own.
7. Jealousy disguised as love
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Self-respecting women know that possessiveness isnât passion, itâs insecurity. Their partners may try to disguise their jealousy as love, urging them to isolate themselves from friends while cloaking their jealousy with statements like, âI just love you so much and donât want to lose you.â
Thankfully, self-respecting women can see right through this. Their partners may try to convince them their possessiveness is a sign of their devotion, but they know that jealousy is often linked to insecurity, low self-esteem and fears of abandonment. No self-respecting woman will let their partners use it as an excuse to behave badly. These women know that they authentic love they deserve will come from a partner who allows them their freedom and autonomy.Â
8. Having her boundaries disrespected
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A self-respecting woman will make her boundaries known from the beginning, and she won't compromise them for the sake of having a partner. Self-respecting women know that partners who truly care about them will never push them past their limits or make them feel guilty about their boundaries.
âBoundaries are not just an emotional tool; theyâre essential for our overall health,â said Harry Cohen, Ph.D. âEstablishing boundaries isnât about keeping people out, itâs about keeping yourself well. Think of it like maintaining your personal space. Just as our bodies need a comfortable amount of physical space to feel secure, our minds need similar protective measures.â
9. Being treated like an option
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A self-respecting woman knows her worth. She will never compete for a spot in someoneâs life or settle for being treated like an option. Constantly trying to convince someone who obviously doesn't value you to prioritize you will only cause you more emotional pain and headaches.
The right person will never make you question whether or not youâre enough. Self-respecting women know they deserve to be chosen and not settled for.Â
10. Having her accomplishments minimized
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Self-respecting women will never settle for someone who makes her feel small. Every one of her accomplishments that she worked hard to achieve deserves praise from the people she loves.
A partner who minimizes her wins and cannot clap for her isnât worthy of her love.
According to psychology, celebrating our partnerâs achievements will only strengthen our relationships.
âWe want to know our partner is not competitive with us or envious of our good fortune,â explained therapists Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom. âWe want them to be proud of our achievements, and celebrate with us to magnify the joy.âÂ
No self-respecting woman will ever minimize her achievements to make a partner feel more secure. If he cannot support and celebrate her, he is not worth her time and effort.
11. A relationship that keeps her small
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There are many ways a man might make a woman feel small in a relationship. He could minimize her ambitions, downplay her accomplishments, and undermine her confidence. They often do this as a result of their own insecurities and lack of confidence, and hope to drag their women down with them.
However, self-respecting women refuse to let this happen. They want to grow, not be confined by a miserable partner.
A self-respecting woman will not allow her partner to belittle or degrade her to make himself feel bigger. If they even attempt to, she will leave without looking back and continue to focus on her own personal growth.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
