Women Who Come Off As Cranky And Ungrateful Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Most of the time, women are battling a multitudes of feelings that contribute to feelings of frustration.
bodnar.photo | Shutterstock In their daily lives, women often have to fight against many unforeseen circumstances, whether it's balancing their many responsibilities, from work to taking care of their families, or navigating different stressors. Having to deal with these issues means women find themselves in a constant state of emotional and mental exhaustion, leaving them feeling cranky or irritated. For some reason, women are expected never to have a bad day.
We're expected to smile, be easygoing, and handle everything with the utmost grace, despite what we may be battling on the inside. It's quite exhausting, and from the moment that we express even a hint of frustration, we find ourselves being branded as "difficult" or "overly emotional," when the truth is, we're simply carrying the weight of responsibilities that often go unappreciated. There's always more underneath the surface that contributes to a woman coming off as cranky and distant.
Here are 11 reasons women who come off cranky and ungrateful usually have:
1. She feels lost
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From the time they're young, women battle against societal expectations and pressures. These things can create a sense of disconnect from who they are and the goals/aspirations they may want to accomplish in life. Breaking away from that mold that's been placed upon them can be quite challenging because it means going against beliefs that have been deeply ingrained within their sense of self.
Angeleena Francis, LMHC, an executive director for AMFM Healthcare, explained that it's a common experience to feel lost in life sometimes. "It’s a natural emotional process that signals a need for change or an opportunity for growth."
Just because you may feel lost doesn't mean you won't be able to find fulfillment again; it just means the path needs to be rediscovered.
2. She battles loneliness
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Many women experience deep loneliness even if they may not be physically alone. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, compared to men, women were more likely to experience shame when feeling lonely.
Whether this is because of the stigma that women should not be allowed room to express their emotional needs because they are expected to be the backbone of everyone else's needs, or they aren't given a safe enough space, women are simply suffering in silence. Women may struggle to feel seen, so they feel alone despite having people in their lives.
3. She feels unappreciated
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This is a particularly common experience for women, especially in the role of being a mom and wife. Whether they're a working mom or stay-at-home mom, their efforts and responsibilities often go unnoticed and unacknowledged.
In a survey conducted by Peanut, an app that aims to provide a safe space for women to meet and find support, answers from their "The State of Invisibility" survey were analyzed from mothers surveyed. They found that 79% feel invisible as mothers/potential mothers, and 95% feel unappreciated, unacknowledged, or unseen in their role.
4. She's overwhelmed
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Many women know well the feeling of being overwhelmed. Whether juggling work, family, relationships, or other personal obligations, this constant overflow of responsibilities takes a toll on their emotional and mental well-being. In APA's October 2023 Stress in America survey, women reported a higher average stress level than men (5.3 versus 4.8 out of 10) and were more likely to rate their stress levels between an 8 and a 10 than men (27% versus 21%).
"While the causes of stress have certainly changed, women seem to experience it more clearly or acknowledge it more readily," explained clinical psychologist Rosalind S. Dorlen, PsyD. "Men experience the stress differently. They are much more able to dissociate."
5. She's constantly overstimulated
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With how fast-paced the world is, it's not surprising that many women constantly feel overstimulated. They're expected to manage a plethora of responsibilities at once, and because women are often the ones who carry the emotional burden and load of those around them in families, this means that they are constantly giving more of themselves than they can bear.
"The challenge for someone who has a tendency to become overstimulated and to feel things very strongly, which are often experienced together, is learning to deal with these feelings whenever they arise," explained psychologist Tom Falkenstein, MA.
Those moments of pressure make it hard for women to relax, and they're often shamed for deciding to participate in any form of self-care.
6. She's experiencing hormonal changes
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From going through puberty, menstruating, to experiencing the luteal phase, then having to go through childbirth, dealing with postpartum, and menopause, women are subjected to a plethora of hormonal changes that end up making them feel cranky. Of course, all the little moments in between can trigger fluctuations, including stress, lack of sleep, and burnout.
Nina Vasan, MD, a psychiatrist, explained that a woman's hormonal changes can end up having a massive effect on her mental health. That's why it's so important to learn about hormonal changes and understand the complexities that go into women's health.
7. She doesn't have any time to herself
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One of the most common reasons women feel cranky and ungrateful is that they simply haven't had enough time to spend with themselves and unwind. Self-care is extremely important for checking back in with yourself, and it looks different for everyone. While some people may practice self-care by staying in, doing a face mask, taking a bath, and going to bed early, others might view self-care as spending time with friends or picking up the dirty laundry sitting on their floor for a week.
When you're unable to cater to your needs, it can be hard to interact with others when your own energy is low.
8. She doesn't have any support
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Support can come in many ways, whether from family, friends, neighbors, or even members of your community. It's so important to have people to lean on, especially for women, who are tasked with holding onto so much and doing so much for others. It can be draining when there's no one there to help do things for them.
It helps lessen the burden and the load. During those moments of stress and tension, it helps to have a handful of people you can call, and they can come over with a listening ear and a home-cooked meal to make you feel better.
9. She's constantly comparing herself to others
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In a time when social media makes it incredibly easy to access information about another person's life, it's also easy to compare yourself to what others are doing. Especially for women, social media can be a breeding ground for insecurities and irrational expectations of what beauty should look like.
Looking at other women on social media can cause feelings of inadequacy to creep in. When that happens, it's no wonder many women end up feeling cranky and ungrateful for their own lives when they're being fed a dream every time they scroll on Instagram. Social media is simply a highlight reel and doesn't depict the actual struggles everyone experiences.
10. She struggles with saying 'no'
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Women are expected to be easygoing and accommodating to everyone, which means sometimes they feel as if they're being forced to say "yes" just for the sake of not wanting to rock the boat. In relationships, women often adopt the "chill, cool girl" mentality because they don't want to cause rifts with their partners. But, by adopting this persona, women also actively ignore their needs and do not have boundaries with others.
Having unmet needs means women are losing their identities because they're constantly putting others' needs and feelings before their own. If a person is doing that too much, they slowly lose touch with what they need.
11. She's having a bad day
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We all have one of those days. A day where everything can't seem to come out right and, for some reason, as the day goes on, so does the laundry list of inconveniences. Women are allowed to have bad days, despite what society may suggest. It doesn't mean they're less capable or generally unhappy because having an off day means you're a human being experiencing life.
That's why it's important to show grace and compassion in those moments. Women, like everybody else, simply want to be left alone when they're having a bad day instead of hearing, "Why won't you smile?" as they're walking down the street.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
