11 Phrases Truly Wise People Use Often, According To Research
True wisdom isn't about how much education you have or how many books you read.
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock Wisdom isn't just characterized by confidence, intelligence, or self-reflection, although these traits are equally foundation to the way a truly wise person lives their life; rather, it's about the balance between emotional intelligence and logical thinking. In stressful moments, wise people rely on their ability to self-reflect, while still thinking rationally and guiding others, acting as a light of optimism for everyone around them.
In their personal lives and social interactions, there are certain phrases truly wise people use often, according to research, that set them up for success in building thoughtful relationships as well. By embodying a spirit of curiosity, they learn from others, helping them to feel heard and understood in even the most casual fleeting conversations.
Here are 11 phrases truly wise people use often, according to research
1. 'Nothing is permanent'
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Of course, there are certain life mottos — like "nothing is permanent" — that wise people live by and that characterize their optimism as they navigate life. By simply remembering that hardship will pass, adversity can be overcome, and emotions are fleeting, a million different aspects of their lives change compared to the average person.
They're not only better at regulating their emotions, knowing they're not permanent or "stuck," they navigate life's hardest situations with grace and empathy — from dealing a loss, to experiencing heartbreak, and even navigating stress from an all-consuming job.
2. 'I don't know'
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In addition to feeling comfortable admitting when they're wrong, truly wise people also use the phrase "I don't know" often, asking for help, learning from others, and remaining curious about the things they don't understand, even when it's uncomfortable.
By being willing to admit when they don't know something, rather than trying to assert a misguided view of intelligence or confidence, wise people learn and grow more than the average person. They set themselves up to succeed at work, nurture better casual conversations and social interactions, and boost the social benefits of asking and receiving help from others.
3. 'I understand where you're coming from'
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Feeling heard is fundamental to crafting and nurturing healthy social connections, according to a PLOS One study, which is exactly how many of the phrases truly wise people use often, according to research, cultivate safe spaces for people to bond.
By asking people to share more about themselves, their emotions, and their opinions, truly wise people give themselves an opportunity to learn, while helping others to feel more valued and connected. Using this phrase makes the other person feel like they have a safe space to share, and will help them open up to be more vulnerable.
4. 'Thank you'
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Experts from Harvard Health Publishing suggest that giving thanks and expressing gratitude doesn't just boost happiness in the average person, it can boost mental and physical well-being as well. Of course, truly wise people use passing phrases like this to express their gratitude all of the time — boosting their emotional and physical well-being, while also building healthier connections.
There's a number of ways to maximize the benefits of giving thanks, even if you wouldn't characterize yourself as a "wise person," that can open up more curious learning opportunities in your life.
From gratitude journaling, to expressing gratitude to the people you work with, and taking the time to reflect on how others have helped you in your personal life, you can find joy in the little things and lead with empathy in your routine.
5. 'I need help'
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According to a study published in Management Science, asking for help can encourage people to view you as more competent, intelligent, and confident, even if it's just asking for help on a project at work. The practice of admitting when you need help relies on a sense of competence and wisdom — you have to be willing to accept that you're not an expert at everything to truly learn and grow.
This phrase that wise people use often is an embodiment of that practice and one that truly wise people use often. They're not just comfortable making mistakes, asking for help, and seeking out advice when they need it, they're motivated by the teaching moments and curiosity that fuels those interactions and conversations.
6. 'We're all learning'
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Being curious is a fundamental facet of intelligence, according to a study from the Journal of Individual Differences, but the wisest people tend to take their curiosity to another level in their daily routines.
Whether it's seeking out conversations with strangers, giving people who have made a mistake the benefit of the doubt, or investing in their own niche hobbies and passions, truly wise people are innately curious and interested in learning.
Many of the phrases truly wise people use often, according to research, provide teaching moments and avenues for learning in conversations. They're willing to give grace to people willing to learn, but they're also willing to admit they've made a mistake and learn from them.
7. 'Tell me more about that'
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According to psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, PhD, truly wise people tend to listen more than they talk, embodying the talent of making other people feel heard, appreciated, and understood without having to say anything.
This is one of the phrases truly wise people use often, according to research, as it opens up the floor for other people to share their expertise, opinions, and thoughts.
Wisdom is a practice that experts believe is only learned through experience, not traditional educational institutions or classrooms — it's these conversations, learning from others, and simply experiencing life that allows truly wise people to thrive.
8. 'I made a mistake'
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From the workplace, where taking the time to unpack mistakes and craft teaching moments boosts satisfaction and happiness, to personal relationships and connections, taking accountability for your mistakes is one of the behaviors truly wise people do well.
By saying "I made a mistake" or admitting when they're wrong, truly wise people open themselves up to learn from others, rather than shutting them down and sparking resentment by adopting a misguided victim mentality or shifting blame.
While it's likely still occasionally uncomfortable for wise people to take accountability, their acknowledgment of its benefits allows them to seek out growth.
They're not afraid to try new things, "fail" at tasks, or pursue challenges, because they know it's okay to make a mistake — and the "failure" other people perceive to be scary and anxiety-inducing is actually where there's room for growth.
9. 'Let me take a second to gather my thoughts'
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The ability to regulate your own emotions, compose yourself in stressful situations, and provide guidance in the most overwhelming conversations are all tenants of a truly wise person.
By taking space — in ways that psychology experts suggest aid in emotional regulation — to gather your thoughts, by using a phrase like this, you can embody the wisdom everyone's yearning for.
According to a study conducted by the University of Waterloo, self-reflection, emotional regulation, and an ability to think logically in stressful situations are all typical traits of a "wise person" — in many different societal and cultural contexts.
When you express your need for alone time or space in a conversation, you're not only advocating for your own emotional health, you're reminding other people that you're competent, wise, and reflective.
10. 'How are you feeling?'
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A study from Perspectives on Psychological Science found that there's an interesting link between happiness or living "the good life" and wisdom. The wiser a person is — characterized by empathy, reflection, emotional intelligence, and guidance — the happier they're likely to be in their life, largely because they can form more fulfilling connections in their lives, both with themselves, their work, their personal lives, and others.
By embodying the empathy that characterizes wisdom, truly wise people use phrases like this to connect with the people in their lives. They not only make them feel understood and heard, even in the most casual conversations, they give people the chance to learn about themselves — sharing wisdom in indirect ways.
11. 'How can I support you?'
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It's possible to "tap into" other people's wisdom, but it's also possible for wise people to share their own knowledge and expertise with others. By committing to curiosity, crafting safe spaces in conversations, asking thoughtful questions, and listening with the intent of learning, rather than waiting for space to speak, wise people use phrases like this to share their wisdom.
Many of the phrases truly wise people use often, according to research, have the power to connect people, but it's questions like this — or "What's wrong?" and "You seem upset, how can I help?" — that go one step further in empathetically guiding conversations.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
