10 Subtle Ways A Weak Man Drains A Powerful Woman’s Energy Without Her Realizing
A weak man often resents a powerful woman's strength and wants to take her down.
dimakig / Shutterstock If they are in a relationship, men who are weak will often drain a powerful woman’s energy, whether he's doing so intentionally or not. His behavior could be rooted in various issues — including insecurity, power dynamics, or unhealthy relationship patterns — which often manifest in ways that are hard to pinpoint, making it even more difficult for the woman in question to understand what’s happening.
Over time, this emotional labor can wear her down, leaving even the strongest woman feeling as though she’s barely keeping her head above water. However, these actions and behaviors may not be so obvious, and it can be difficult for women to pick up on the subtle ways a weak man drains her energy without her even realizing it's happening.
Here are 10 subtle ways a weak man drains a powerful woman’s energy without her realizing
1. He forces her into her ‘masculine’
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Even if most modern day couples don’t necessarily believe in traditional gender roles, some women appreciate it when their male partners don’t hesitate to take care of them. They enjoy having their first dinner together paid for, having the door held open for them, and having their men plan romantic date nights.
However, in relationships where she has to make all the plans, pay for everything and put in all the emotional labor, she may feel unsupported and under-appreciated.
An emotionally weak man will assume that if a woman appears strong with a good head on her shoulders, he shouldn’t have to step up.
2. He makes her feel unsafe
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Keeping a woman safe doesn’t have to be shielding her with your body against potential dangers or dashing into a burning building for her. It can be as simple as supporting her, listening to her, making her feel at ease around him, and being her person who she can comfortably express herself to.
However, emotionally weak men may demonstrate problematic behaviors that can make their women feel unsafe, such as emotional inconsistency, manipulation, emotional dependence and inability to handle conflict.
No matter how powerful she may be, a woman needs her partner to be her safe space, not her stressor.
3. He drains her emotionally
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An emotionally weak man will constantly depend on a powerful woman to hold him up. He relies on her to manage his emotions, and always seeks comfort, validation and reassurance from her despite what she may be going through herself.
Instead of the relationship being a balance where both partners listen to each other, a relationship with an emotionally weak man will have women always doing the listening and reassuring while rarely getting the dame courtesy back.
His insecurities, his problems, his excuses — she carries it all.
It is no wonder a CDC study found that 16% of women ages 18 to 44 reported feeling “very tired,” “exhausted,” or otherwise worn out most days, compared with 9% of men in the same age range.
It seems that being a powerful woman, one whom others rely on, can take a significant emotional toll, especially when she is in a relationship with a weak man.
4. He kills her softness
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No matter how powerful she may be, a woman still wants to be cherished by her partner and allow herself to be softer when she is with them.
A weak man will never allow her this opportunity. He often makes her argue, explain and beg to be seen. Then the tenderness she once had for her partner quickly fizzles into exhaustion.
5. He makes her resent love
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In healthy relationships, loving your partner should come naturally. When a powerful woman is in a relationship with an emotionally weak man, loving him feels more like a chore.
It's difficult to love someone who doesn’t love themselves, and on some days she will resent having to love him since she loses so much of herself in the process.
“If your self-loathing partner finds something missing in himself or herself, he or she may rely on you to fill that gap,” explained Mark D. White, Ph.D.
“This may feel good at first — most people like to feel needed, after all — but if taken too far, it can turn into excessive neediness or dependency, leaving you feeling less appreciated for who you are, not just for what you can do for your self-loathing partner.”
Above all else, powerful women need to be with other powerful people who have love for themselves.
6. He plays the victim
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From an emotionally weak man’s viewpoint, everything is always someone else’s fault and the world is out to get him. It can be exhausting for a powerful woman to listen to his constant griping with no desire to take accountability for himself.
His constant negativity and perceived helplessness can make powerful women feel helpless themselves, feeling as if she is unable to help him, leading to a sense of powerlessness in the relationship.
“When you give up responsibility for your life, that’s not all you give up. Victim syndrome is associated with decreased well-being, poor social connections, and self-destructive behavior,” shared Allaya Cooks-Campbell, a Wellness and Life Coach.
A weak man’s constant victimization can drag a powerful woman who takes accountability down with him.
7. He constantly depends on her
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Even in loving relationships, both partners should have some sense of independence and avoid heavily relying on each other all of the time. However, emotionally weak men may constantly depend on their powerful female partners just to get them through the day.
Constant reliance can feel like a heavy burden on her shoulders, as she is constantly the one providing reassurance, emotional support and validation while never getting the same in return from her partner. This may make a powerful woman feel unappreciated and unsupported, leading to resentment and burnout.
“Most romantic partners depend on each other to some extent. But when you need your partner to meet all of your emotional needs, you may not be doing much to meet those needs on your own,” writer Crystal Raypole noted.
8. He shows inconsistent effort
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Even when a weak man demonstrates bursts of enthusiasm or effort toward his powerful woman partner, he quickly falls back into inaction and laziness. His inconsistency forces a powerful woman to pick up the slack to keep the relationship going. This ultimately leads her to feeling frustrated and unsupported as she manages both her responsibilities and her partner’s.
Due to all of a powerful woman’s efforts and her weak partner’s lack of, she often feels like the relationship is one sided.
“In one-sided relationships, you’re likely to feel anxious, empty, lonely, misunderstood, insecure, or afraid to rock the boat,” Amy Mezulis, the co-founder and Chief Clinical Officer of JOON told Kendra Cherry, MSEd.
“How your relationship makes you feel is the most important red flag,” she emphasized.
9. He creates unnecessary drama
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Emotionally weak men often feel the need to create drama in their relationships, particularly when they have a powerful female partner whom they want to unsettle or frustrate.
They may do this by making passive-aggressive comments, picking fights or creating emotional turmoil that can make women feel uneasy. When she reacts, a weak man may label her as the weak one despite being the one to stir the pot and play with her emotions.
This constant up-and-down can wear down a woman’s emotional resilience over time.
10. He makes her feel like she’s the problem
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Even though a weak man may be the one causing all of the distress in the relationship, he will find any and every way to make it seem like his powerful woman partner is at fault. They often do this as a form of manipulation or control, or to make their strong partners feel as low as them.
Sometimes, weak individuals project their own flaws, insecurities, or negative behaviors onto their partner, making them think that they are the problem in the relationship.
Even the most powerful women may experience guilt to upkeep the relationship more than she already has been doing, ultimately leading to emotional drainage and hopelessness.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.