Your Parents Did A Great Job Raising You If You Have These 10 People In Your Life
People who were raised right know how important it is to surround yourself with a village of helpers.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock People often believe that wealth, professional power, and social status are the definitive markers of success. Money and influence can open doors that are kept closed for many people, but that access doesn’t automatically equate to feeling happy or fulfilled. True prosperity is measured by the love we give and receive.
Our lives are made richer by the people in them. A warm, supportive family can be the foundation for building genuine relationships as an adult. When we center compassion and authentic connection, we’re able to find our people, the ones who see us in our entirety, the ones we hold close to our hearts. If you have these people in your life, your parents did a great job raising you.
Your parents did a great job raising you if you have these 10 people in your life
1. A reliable friend
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We are who we surround ourselves with, as the saying goes. If you have reliable friends in your life, your parents did a great job raising you.
According to science journalist Lydia Denworth, “Friendship is a lifelong endeavor.” She outlined the facets that go into the “stable, long-lasting bond” we have with close friends. A quality friendship is “positive and creative. It’s helpful [and] reciprocal: I’m there for you, you’re there for me.”
“If you are forever canceling on your friends or failing to make a point of seeing them… then you are not being a good friend,” Denworth explained. “You have to do the work along the way, or they won’t be there.”
As valuable as friends are, negative or ambivalent friendships can do more harm than good. “If a relationship is not healthy or even if it’s just not serving you well, if it’s not positive, if it’s really draining, or if it’s lopsided… that’s not so great,” Denworth shared. “It is okay to walk away from friendships that aren’t good ones.”
Joyful, genuine friendships make life worthwhile. Showing up for your friends in small, consistent ways is an act of true-hearted love.
2. An understanding partner
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Romantic love can be a nourishing and gratifying force, but a partnership is only as strong as the support each person provides. If you’re building a life with someone who accepts you as you are, your parents did a great job raising you.
Relationship counselors Linda and Charlie Bloom revealed that happy, healthy partnerships center around “the art of attentive listening.” An understanding partner does more than “simply receive the information, they are informed by it.”
“Sometimes, the best way to show love is by what you don’t do and say,” they shared. “Remember that listening is love.”
An understanding partner can hold your difficult feelings without judgment. They believe listening is the gateway to a deeper connection, so they keep their heart open, ready to receive. When you’re with someone who really gets you, they treat your love like a treasure, because it is one.
3. An inspiring teacher
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Having an inspiring teacher in your life shows that your parents did a great job raising you to value education. They made it safe for you to be curious, to explore. They encouraged you to discover the world and your place within it. Your parents laid the groundwork for your love of learning, then, your teachers showed you how to fly.
As Teachers of Tomorrow pointed out, an inspiring teacher nurtures your ambitions. They believe in your potential so fully that you believe it, too. Teachers guide you to ask questions and think critically. They challenge your perspective, pushing you to expand and transform.
Being in the presence of just one special teacher can change the way your life unfolds. They’re our mentors, our guides, igniting our passion, revealing a sliver of life’s deeper truths. An inspiring teacher knows the future belongs to you. All you have to do is reach your hands out and grab it.
4. A motivating colleague
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Of all the changes we’ve witnessed in the past five years, the shifts in how we work might be the most drastic. Remote jobs rearranged the rhythm of our lives. We swapped the morning commute for a quick trip between the bedroom and home office, or that spot on the couch where our laptop lives. We left sad desk lunches behind, along with wilted salads and soggy sandwiches that cost way too much money.
Remote work offers unparalleled flexibility, but it can be isolating, fueling a deeper sense of disconnection many people feel. If you have a coworker who’s motivating, validating, and fun to talk to, your parents did a great job raising you to find friends in any environment.
A Gallup poll found that having a best friend at work makes people feel more fulfilled in their role, more committed to the company, and more productive overall. Being close to a coworker creates invaluable camaraderie, especially since two-dimensional Zoom squares replaced physical offices.
Social connection isn’t the only beneficial part of having a work bestie. A genuine on-the-job friendship can foster a sense of safety, community, and a deeper commitment to your role. Work besties emphasize accountability and inspire authenticity in each other.
5. A supportive boss
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Having a supportive boss means you seek out jobs that let you flourish instead of leaving you drained. If you care just as much about balance as you do growing your career, your parents did a great job raising you.
Aligning your professional life with your personal values might not be easy, but honoring your well-being is the only way to avoid extreme burnout. According to a Pew Research Center survey, a majority of American employees described their bosses as excellent or very good to work for. Satisfied workers said their supervisors set clear expectations, stayed open to new ideas, and gave credit when it was due. They assigned high ratings to bosses who made flexibility and work-life balance a main priority.
A supportive boss doesn’t only give lip service to self-care. They put policies in place to ensure it.
6. A beloved sibling
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You don’t get to choose your family of origin, which means that having a close bond with your sibling is a sign you share a very special relationship. Many sibling relationships are fueled by some level of competition or comparison. It’s easier for siblings to get stuck on every moment their parents played favorites than it is to let the past go.
If you and your sibling lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, your parents did a great job raising you to understand what truly matters. Your sibling is the only person in the world who shares the experience of being raised by your parents. Putting rivalry aside and relying on each other for comfort and understanding makes your parents prouder than you can imagine.
7. A nurturing elder
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If you’re fortunate enough to have a nurturing elder in your life, your parents did a great job raising you to see the wisdom that comes with age. Cultivating a close relationship with a grandparent makes your life so much richer. They’re keepers of family traditions, sharing stories about your parents back when they were young. They’re living historians, guiding you toward the future with lessons from their past.
Having a nurturing relationship with an elder doesn’t need to stay limited to people you’re related to. The love your chosen family provides is just as profound and magical.
8. An honest critic
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Accepting your flaws with grace is challenging enough on its own. Actively asking for constructive feedback is even harder. If you have a genuine connection with an empathic and honest critic, your parents did a great job raising you.
According to psychologist Nick Wignall, asking for feedback can help you gain a stronger sense of self-awareness.
“Genuinely self-aware people have the humility to understand that they can’t always see themselves objectively,” he explained. “They know that often the best way to be more objective about yourself is through the lens of other people.”
It takes serious self-reflection to feel comfortable enough to ask another person to outline your imperfections. If you can listen to an honest critic without getting defensive, your parents modeled healthy mechanisms for emotional regulation.
You don’t just accept feedback, you go one step further. You do the difficult emotional labor involved in integrating feedback into who you are and who you want to be.
9. A grounded guide
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Having a varied group of friends helps fulfill every aspect of your identity. Your good-time party friends are always up for adventure. You can text them after midnight and they’ll meet you anywhere, their purses packed with snacks, water, glitter glue and stickers, for sustenance, hydration, and any urgent crafting needs.
As fun as those friends are, they’re not the same friends you rely on when you’re at your lowest. If you have a friend in your life whose innate inner peace instantly makes you feel safe, your parents did a good job raising you to understand the full range of your emotional needs.
Whenever you feel lost within your life, or unsure of what your next move should be, asking for guidance from a trusted friend can soothe your troubled soul.
10. A close confidante
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If there’s a person in your life you confide in without fear of judgment or being shamed, your parents did a great job raising you to express your hardest emotions. Growing up in an emotionally secure household is a gift. That sense of stability echoes out, touching every area of your adult life. You learned to be vulnerable, give voice to your feelings, and validate yourself, no matter what.
According to psychologist Nick Wignall, emotional vulnerability is the key to creating successful relationships.
“Successful people understand that by modeling their emotional vulnerability and being honest about how they feel, they’re empowering others to do the same,” he shared.
If you have a close confidante, like a therapist, a counselor, or any other mental health professional, it shows how committed you are to understanding who you are, and loving yourself for it.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.