Your Parents Did A Great Job Raising You If You Say These 11 Phrases Often
Give your parents a call and let them know they raised you right.
Dodokat / Shutterstock A key part of confidence comes from how we talk to ourselves. It’s easy to let our inner critics take over. Telling yourself “I’m doing my best” or “I’m proud of myself for trying” shows that your self-esteem comes from internal validation. Your parents did a great job raising you if you say these phrases often, because they taught you that self-compassion is the path to acceptance and true self-love.
Confidence comes from within, but it doesn’t just magically appear. Our self esteem stems from the messages our parents shared with us growing up that reminded us to like ourselves no matter what our flaws may be. If they impart the idea that we’re inherently worthy and loved without conditions, it helps create a solid foundation for seeing ourselves in a positive light as we move through life.
Your parents did a great job raising you if you say these 11 phrases often
1. ‘I believe in myself’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you say “I believe in myself” often. There’s no way to know how our lives will unfold, which means we have to prepare to face hardships along with bright spots. Releasing the idea that you have to be perfect creates space to be your authentic self, which is essential for seeing yourself as inherently worthy.
No one is perfect at everything they do, and that’s more than okay, it’s praiseworthy. Perfection is the enemy of progress, and progress is all we really have to hold onto in this often difficult world. The more you believe in yourself, the more able you are to show up for yourself and the people you love in ways that truly matter.
Learning how to trust in yourself and your abilities might take a lifetime, but it’s a valuable journey to take.
2. ‘I can do hard things’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you say “I can do hard things” often. Embodying the idea that you’re strong and capable is often easier said than done, yet the more you tell yourself this phrase, the more you believe it to be true.
Psychologist Nick Wignall revealed that our core beliefs can either hold us back from happiness or pave the way to finding contentment, even when life is difficult.
“Core beliefs are rules or operating instructions for our lives,” he explained. “They’re often established very early in childhood and rarely identified or updated, which means we end up carrying them into adulthood, along with all the emotional baggage they contain.”
Wignall pointed out one particular core belief that keeps people unhappy: The idea that you need to feel good to do hard things.
“Most people believe motivation is a gift — something the universe generously bestows on us from time to time, and more frequently, withholds. They believe that with this gift, they’re capable of great things. But without it, they’re destined for mediocrity or failure,” he shared.
Wignall described the connection between motivation and action as “a two-way street,” noting that “Feeling good makes it easier to accomplish hard things. But doing hard things leads to feeling good.”
While unhappy people tend to avoid taking action until they feel fully motivated, “happy people believe that motivation is built not bestowed — that’s it’s something largely under their control.”
“You need to prove to yourself that it’s possible to do difficult things without feeling motivated,” Wignall revealed. “And like any difficult challenge, you need to start small and work up, gradually building your confidence along the way.”
“If you want to be happier, don’t wait around for motivation to strike. Learn to build it yourself,” he concluded.
Tackling the tough stuff requires people to draw from wells of inner strength they may not have uncovered yet, yet the very act of pushing themselves to do hard things shows just how capable they are. If you’re someone who says “I can do hard things” and believes it, your parents did a great job raising you.
3. ‘I appreciate you’
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“I appreciate you” is another phrase that shows your parents did a great job raising you if you say it often. It’s easy to overlook the people in our lives, even the ones we care about most. If your parents raised you to express appreciation, they did a good job raising you to be a conscientious, considerate adult.
At The Greater Good Science Center’s 2017 conference, “Gratitude and Well-Being at Work,” leadership expert Mike Robbins outlined the distinction between recognition and appreciation.
“Recognition is actually positive feedback based on results, based on performance. It’s about what we do,” he explained. “Appreciation is more about recognizing people’s value. It’s about who we are. Appreciation is about people, recognition is about results.”
Robbins emphasized the value of appreciation, which is rooted in a mindset of gratitude. He described appreciation as “looking for [and] finding [and] acknowledging the goodness. It’s a choice we make. We choose if we’re going to be grateful. Appreciation is about expressing that gratitude for another human being about who they are, not what they do.”
He also referenced a study from Haas Business School, which noted that when people who were recognized for their work were 23% more productive. The same study found that “when people felt valued and cared about and appreciated for who they are, particularly by their direct supervisor, they were 43% more productive.”
Being recognized for what you do is important, yet being appreciated for who you are highlights that you have inherent value just for being yourself, outside of what you’re able to produce. If you consistently share how grateful you are for the people in your community, your parents did a great job raising you.
4. ‘I’m worthy of love’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you say “I’m worthy of love” often. Connection and intimacy are crucial ingredients for any relationship, and cultivating our relationships is the only way to build a fulfilling life. Yet no matter how much a person wants to find love, love between two people can’t exist unless that person truly believes in their own inherent lovability, first and foremost.
Researcher and author Brené Brown revealed the one belief that lies at the core of a whole-hearted life: worthiness.
“The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now; right this minute,” she explained. “Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created, unknowingly allowed, or been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites: I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good parent... I'll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together... I'll be worthy when I make more money.”
“Here's what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: worthy now. Not if. Not when,” Brown declared. “We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
“If you're thinking: ‘But I want to be better or grow or strive for something new.’ That's ok. Just remember we have to love the thing we want to change,” she shared. “Self-loathing and shame are not motivators. Self-love and self-respect are.”
We tend to forget that self-love is the basis for all other forms of love. We can’t be fully loving in our friendships and partnerships without loving ourselves first. If you tell yourself that you’re worthy of love, exactly as you are now, your parents did a good job raising you.
5. ‘I like who I am’
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If you say the phrase “I like who I am” often, your parents did a good job raising you. Self-acceptance and genuine self-love are key parts of having a solid sense of self-worth, yet there’s another piece of the puzzle that’s equally as important: Liking yourself.
The differences between liking yourself and loving yourself might seem inconsequential, yet it’s one thing to acknowledge your worthiness and a whole other thing to truly like who you are. Feeling genuinely at home in your identity hinges upon liking yourself.
Liking yourself means that you cherish being alone, because you enjoy your own company. It means doing things that bring you joy, just for joy’s sake. You actively make time to sit with yourself and engage in your hobbies, whether that means adding to your collection of watercolor pet portraits or binge-watching documentaries on deep sea exploration.
When you truly like yourself, you’re essentially saying, “I am enough right now and I trust myself to keep growing into the person I want to be.”
6. ‘I’m sorry, I misunderstood’
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Your parents did a good job raising you if you say the phrase “I’m sorry, I misunderstood” often. Saying this phrase highlights that you’re self-assured enough to admit making mistakes. It shows that you’re willing to take ownership over your actions, because you know that doing something wrong doesn’t define you.
It’s not always easy to separate yourself from the mistakes you’ve made, but that separation is what allows you to fully internalize the idea that mistakes don’t make you a bad person. Messing up in one specific situation doesn't automatically mean you’re a failure, it just means you’re human.
Saying “I’m sorry, I misunderstood” indicates that you’re aware of the impact of your actions and that you have the humility and emotional maturity to take responsibility for hurting someone, even if it wasn’t intentional. If you’re able to apologize in the moment and course-correct for next time, it shows you fully understand that mistakes are an unavoidable part of learning, growing, and expanding as a person.
7. ‘Thanks for sharing your perspective’
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If you often say the phrase “Thanks for sharing your perspective,” your parents did a great job raising you. Throughout the course of our lives, we’re bound to encounter people who see the world differently from us. Being able to hear other points of view and validate those experiences, even if we disagree, is a sign you have intellectual humility and a deeply-rooted sense of respect for others.
Appreciating perspectives that don’t align with your own requires serious self-reflection. Engaging in the inner work to know yourself deeply means you can listen to other people without feeling the need to change their minds or tell them exactly why they’re wrong.
Holding space for people you disagree with shows that you’re genuinely interested in understanding where they’re coming from. If you’re able to express gratitude for hearing perspectives that oppose your own, your parents did a great job raising you.
8. ‘Let me know how I can make improvements’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you say the phrase “Let me know how I can make improvements” often, in both your personal and professional life. Believing in yourself means you trust in your ability to set goals and achieve them. It also means acknowledging that there’s always room for self-improvement, which pushes you to grow and become your most authentic self.
Psychotherapist Bylander Walia revealed the “profound, transformative power of self-belief,” which she defined as “the deep conviction in one's abilities, potential, and intrinsic worth.”
“Self-belief provides the confidence to set ambitious goals, take risks, and persist through adversity,” she explained. “It drives an individual's motivation to challenge themselves and seek continuous improvement,” as it “allows us to break free from our comfort zones, confront challenges, and transform setbacks into opportunities for growth.”
Self-belief doesn't just arrive fully-formed. It’s something people create with intentional action. Walia shared various strategies to cultivate strong self-belief, starting with setting achievable goals.
“Break down larger aspirations into smaller, manageable tasks,” she advised, noting that realistic goal-setting paves the way for incremental success. Shifting your mindset to see challenges as stepping stones for growth, rather than roadblocks, helps you embrace the learning curve.
Celebrating small wins and seeking constructive feedback to build on those wins “encourages continuous motivation on your journey of self-improvement.”
“Cultivating self-belief is a revolutionary act,” Walia concluded. “It empowers us to feel good about ourselves and actively shape our futures.”
9. ‘I really value our relationship’
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If you say the phrase “I really value our relationship” often, your parents did a great job raising you. Taking the time and care to express appreciation for others shows that you’re emotionally aware enough to name your feelings and strong enough to be vulnerable. Sharing your innermost feelings is scary, even when those feelings are based in love.
Saying “I really value our relationship” often shows that your parents taught you to pay attention to what really matters: the connections you have with other people.
When you tell someone how much you value them, it creates an opportunity for the intimacy you share with them to grow deeper and more profound as you open your heart.
10. ‘I need some help’
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Your parents did a good job raising you if you say the phrase “I need some help” often. Asking for support goes against our instincts to be independent, self-sufficient and non-intrusive. The idea of opening up and saying, “I’m having a hard time” can be so anxiety-provoking that people often choose to suffer silently, rather than making themselves vulnerable by seeking support.
On the Greater Good Science Center’s podcast, “The Science of Happiness,” social psychology professor Vanessa Bohns discussed the very real, human fear of asking for help.
“People will bend over backwards in real life to sort of avoid asking for things, right? They’ll try to do everything themselves when they could very simply often get help or do it more easily if they just ask someone quickly,” she said.
“In my studies, I get to see this ‘aha’ moment that they have where they suddenly realize that it’s not nearly as painful. And people are so much more receptive than they expected,” Bohns shared.
“People are just more happy to help than we realize— that people do get this warm glow from helping. People enjoy being helpful. And so, we also underestimate how much people actually do enjoy helping other people,” she concluded.
11. ‘I’m so proud of you’
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you say the phrase “I’m so proud of you” to people in your life. Saying this phrase shows that you’re able to acknowledge the accomplishments of others without comparing yourself to them.
You don’t measure your value based on external factors, like someone else’s wins. One person’s victory doesn’t indicate your failure. You know that your own success exists separately and that you’re making your way on your own time.
You actively reject the scarcity mindset. You’re fully aware that celebrating other people is a way to access joy and nourish your relationships. It’s these things that give your life meaning, proving that your parents did a great job raising you.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.