Moms Who Get Phone Calls From Their Adult Daughters Every Day Did These 11 Things Right
If your fully grown daughter still can't wait to give you a call, you did a great job raising her.
shurkin_son / Shutterstock There's probably no more bittersweet moment for a mother than when her daughter grows up and spreads her wings. From going off to college to getting married, there is bound to be a time when the relationship between any mother and daughter grows a bit more distant, no matter how great a parent you were. That said, moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day did these 11 things right.
No mother is perfect, but moms who ensure that their relationship with their daughter remains close over time put in hard work to build trust and mutual respect. From listening carefully to what their daughter has to say to allowing her the independence to make her own choices, there are plenty of ways moms gain their daughter's lasting affection.
Moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day did these 11 things right
1. They listened to their daughter even when they didn't fully understand her
fizkes | Shutterstock
Moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day listen to their daughters even when they don't fully understand them. It's easy for moms to go into fixer-upper mode when they hear their daughter has a problem. From breakups to failing classes, moms don't always hear to understand, rather they hear to respond. Unfortunately for them, daughters pick up on this. Like everyone else, they can sense when their ideas or words are falling on deaf ears and in return, this can make them feel rejected.
According to the American Psychological Association, feeling rejected often leads to anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and sadness. Thankfully, moms who formed a great bond with their daughters know this and do everything in their power to listen more instead of talk.
Now, do they always understand where their daughter is coming from? No, sometimes moms might even wholeheartedly disagree with their daughters. Regardless, the impact is still the same. Daughters who feel heard by their mothers feel a sense of closeness, leading to them having stronger bonds even in adulthood.
2. They pushed their ego to the side and apologized when they were wrong
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock
Moms can be prideful sometimes. Whether it's winning an argument against their husband about who does the most chores or needing to be right in arguments their kids, a mother's ego can either make or break her relationship with their daughter.
That being said, most people hate to admit when they're wrong. According to psychologist Mark Travers Ph.D., admitting they're wrong tends to disrupt people's sense of pride and make them feel weak. Despite this fact, a mom who gets phone calls from their adult daughter every day actively pushed their ego to the side and apologized — even if they truly didn't want to.
It's okay for mothers to be wrong. As a mom, they weren't given a guidebook on how to be an upstanding mother. Even so, everybody deserves an apology. Whether it's a small child or a grown adult, if someone did something wrong then it's up to them to push their ego to the side and own up to it, otherwise, they can ruin their relationship.
Thankfully, moms who have close bonds with their daughters realize this and admit their wrongdoings, no matter how hard it may be.
3. They took their daughter out often
New Africa | Shutterstock
When was the last time a mom had a girl's outing with her daughter? If it's been a while, then moms might want to make that happen, because moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day took them out often when they were younger.
Moms only have a short period of time with their daughters until they leave the nest to go off to college, start working, and/or get married. This is why it's important to make these moments count, because daughters will remember it.
It's not the materialistic things that daughters remember most from their mothers, rather, it's the smaller moments. From walking together in the park to going to get their nails done, daughters hold onto these moments — or the lack thereof — for life.
4. They gave their daughter the freedom to make her own choices
Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock
It's understandable that many moms don't want their daughters to leave the nest. Let's face it: the world is a scary place. From fears of their daughters being put in uncomfortable positions to fears of them being taken advantage of, moms have a hard time loosening up their hold on their daughters, wanting to protect them. Still, daughters are bound to leave the nest at some point, and moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day give them the freedom to make their own choices.
Moms may be scared for their children to make the wrong choice, as it can lead to them being put in dangerous situations. Yet, refusing to give them a choice at all is arguably worse. According to a study in 2023, children who grew up independent have higher self-esteem, confidence, and motivation.
So, while moms want to protect their daughters, there is a way to do that while still allowing them their independence. By having open communication, sharing their location, and having a curfew, moms can better ensure their daughter's safety while allowing them the freedom to decide for themselves how best to live their lives.
5. They never judged their daughter
New Africa | Shutterstock
To be fair, everyone's judged someone at some point. Maybe their daughter has made a questionable decision, or worse, brought a potential partner over who had her mother clutching her pearls in dismay. Still, moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day never judged them, well, to their face at least.
Sure, in their head they might've been shaking their head and screaming, "Why?" But moms who prioritize their daughters' well-being first push their own feelings to the side to ensure that their daughters feel heard and accepted.
Now, from the outside, this might seem minuscule. After all, who cares if their daughter knows that their mom is judging them a little? But judgment makes people feel misunderstood, and, according to a study in 2022, feeling misunderstood leads to higher perceived stress, lower life satisfaction, and motivation.
So while mothers are sure to have their own opinions, it's better to remain neutral for the time being. By allowing their daughter to express themselves and being more accepting, mothers can ensure that their daughter feels loved and welcomed well into adulthood.
6. They chose trust over punishment
Daisy Daisy | Shutterstock
Moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day chose trust over punishment when their girls were young. Now, understandably, no parent wants to get a phone call at one in the morning and find out that their daughter snuck out or was being irresponsible at a party. However, during these moments, a mom can either choose trust or punishment.
A mother has two choices: she can choose to build trust or destroy it. According to research published in the journal Child Development, yelling is so severe that it can actually cause psychological damage if parents aren't careful. So, while a mother might be furious at her daughter over her reckless decisions, a mom who wants to have a relationship with her daughter will do everything in her power to not betray her daughter's trust — even if it's hard.
7. They showed interest in their daughters' passions
byswat | Shutterstock
From painting to celebrity gossip there will always be a moment in time where a daughter expresses deep passion about something. With their eyes lit up in happiness and a huge smile on their face, they'll come running up to their mother ready to spill it all. During these moments, a mom who shows interest in her passions, no matter how unimportant they may seem, will almost always have a strong bond with their daughter as they grow older.
It's unfortunate, but many parents dismiss their kid's passions because it's seen as useless or unimportant. In the parent's eyes, they have better things to do than listen to who likes who's shady tweet or how much their child loves music and learning the piano. Yet, it's important for parents, especially mothers, to take an interest in their daughter's passions, because not taking an interest is just another form of rejection.
While rejection might seem inevitable, actively choosing to reject their daughter's passions will only lead their daughter to isolate themselves. This is dangerous, as isolation often leads to depression, poor sleep quality, impaired executive function, and accelerated cognitive decline, according to the American Psychological Association.
So, while moms might not always want to hear about the same topic over and over again, remember: that moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day show interest in their passions.
8. They were respectfully honest
VH-studio | Shutterstock
They say that honesty is the best policy, and while many moms want to avoid having honest conversations in order to protect their daughters' feelings, lying to them instead can make matters even worse. As most moms know, dishonesty can lead to misunderstandings. According to a study published in 2019, misunderstandings lead to confusion, which in turn leads to an increase in conflict.
That being said, there's a huge difference between being honest and being disrespectful. For instance, some mothers think that to be honest means to criticize their daughters on their appearance. From the way they dress to their hair, some moms will use degrading words all in the name of honesty.
However, these words often fall into the realm of disrespect, which leads to worsening relationships as daughters get older. So, a golden rule of thumb that every mother should follow is this: don't comment on their daughter's appearance unless it's something they can change in five minutes, otherwise, their daughter will inevitably grow self-conscious, leading to a strained relationship.
9. They validated their daughters' feelings
Xavier Lorenzo | Shutterstock
Yes, dealing with their daughter's emotions is never easy. Most moms view their daughter's emotions as fleeting and as a result, don't always pay their daughter's feelings any mind as it's just a phrase that they're going through. However, these 'phases' are real emotions that impact them later in life. This is why moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters validated their daughter's feelings instead of belittling them or labeling them as unimportant.
Once upon a time, moms were in the same shoes as their daughters. Going through friendship quarrels or worrying about what others thought about them. At the time, moms might've also felt shunned by their own parents, causing them to distance themselves as they felt increasingly more isolated and misunderstood.
So, while moms might not always understand their daughter's feelings, they should always make an honest effort to validate those feelings by saying, "I can understand why you feel this way." While it might sound like a small insignificant phrase, daughters remember the little things, which can either make or break the relationship as they reach adulthood.
10. They set reasonable boundaries
fizkes | Shutterstock
Many moms never have that uncomfortable conversation about boundaries. In the moment, they might assume that these boundaries should be obvious. After all, they told their daughter what they should and shouldn't do, so there's no need for additional discussion, right?
However, there's a huge difference between telling someone what to do and setting reasonable boundaries. For moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters, they likely chose the ladder. Now, while moms might feel like what they say should automatically go, their daughters might have a difference of opinion.
From curfews to extracurricular activities, every child wants to feel as if their needs are being taken into consideration. While certain things involving safety shouldn't be compromised, when it comes to curfew on a Friday night, sitting down with their daughter, listening to everyone's opinions, and setting reasonable boundaries is often the difference between creating a relationship built off trust and respect or destroying their relationship with their daughter in the future.
11. They showed affection
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
Finally, moms who get phone calls from their adult daughters every day showed them affection. Now, this might seem like a given. Of course, moms should hug their daughters and kiss them on the forehead, right? However, people would be shocked at how those simple things get put onto the back burner.
Understandably, moms get busy and sometimes they forget to hug their daughters goodbye and ruffle their daughter's hair while saying good morning. However, a daughter doesn't forget, which determines how their relationship plays out in the future. That being said, everyone has boundaries. and some daughters and mothers might not be down to getting loved on all day.
So, if a mom or daughter isn't the most affectionate person out there, don't be afraid to compromise. A ruffle on the head, a high five, or simply expressing their love in words is also enough to get the words across. As long as mothers are making an effort to show their love and affection every day, it doesn't truly matter how touchy they are with their interactions.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
