Popular People Always Use These 8 Tactics To Connect With Others, According To Psychology

You're never too old to make new friends and boost your social standing.

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Everyone likes to feel part of something bigger than themselves — a friend group, a house, a college, or even a country. These affiliations can define how others perceive us and how we perceive ourselves.

Deep human connections are vital for popularity and mental and physical health because they fulfill an innate human need to belong. These 10 tactics are superb for improving your popularity and social life — and your ability to connect with others, too.

The most popular always use these tactics to connect with others:

1. Telling someone you appreciate them

woman hugging older woman in a wheelchair Yuri A / Shutterstock

If you are still in contact with your family, the best thing you can do is start nurturing your relationship with your relatives. Give Mom (or Dad, or Aunt Greta, or Gram Gram) a call, and tell them how much they mean to you.

Your relatives are always going to appreciate a call from you. Even if it’s just to catch up, you will feel better and also bond. You’d be surprised at how relaxing a call can be.

RELATED: 11 Ways To Make Someone Respect You Without Saying A Single Word

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2. Giving someone a genuine compliment

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Complimenting someone — make sure it's genuine — often helps open up a line of communication.  When complimenting a person, compliment their actions rather than their looks. People have more control over their actions than their looks.

Oh, and make sure that the compliment you give is something you truly feel. You would be surprised at how well people take to being complimented and how great you will feel afterward.

Complimenting someone can help you connect with others by boosting their self-esteem, creating positive interaction, and fostering a sense of social connection.

A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin indicated that even a simple compliment can improve your mood and make the recipient feel more appreciated, leading to a more substantial individual bond. A positive social cue signals acceptance and interest in building relationships.

RELATED: If You Want More People To Take You Seriously, Say Goodbye To These 8 Habits

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3. Joining a group sport or class

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Many people tend to bond over physical activities. For the most part, I’m not the type of person who bonds with others over sports or anything physical.

I don’t bond about physical stuff. It’s just not me — unless you talk about hula hooping or dancing. Then I’m a beast who loves to hit the mat. That’s my life, right there.

However, I’m going to put this up here because gymming is a good move for most people. Besides, burning calories makes you feel better. It’s a natural effect.

RELATED: 4 Smart Psychological Tricks To Make Someone Feel Instantly Connected To You

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4. Adopting a pet

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It’s true. According to research, women tend to approach men walking dogs more frequently than men who are walking alone. But, this isn’t about how having a pet can give you a better shot at getting a cutie’s number.

Having a pet can help you bond with people by reducing your stress and reminding you of the fact that relationships are a give-and-take. To be good in a relationship of any sort, you need to give something — even if it’s pats and a treat.

Besides, animals won’t judge you on how you look or what shoes you wear. That is nicer than people, and it’s good to know you will have a little buddy in your corner.

Owning a pet can help people connect by acting as a social catalyst, facilitating conversations, creating shared experiences, and fostering a sense of community. A 2015 study concluded this is particularly true when walking a dog in public spaces, where interactions with other pet owners are familiar. This can lead to new friendships and stronger social bonds.

RELATED: 11 Phrases Socially Intelligent People Use To Create An Instant Bond

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5. Reaching out to a friend 'just because'

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You would be surprised at how many people sometimes tend to wait for someone to reach out to them. Even if it is something as simple as a "hello," reaching out means the world to most people.

Try to set up something, even if it is something as simple as grabbing coffee or having lunch at that chic Thai place. The more you hang out with people, the closer you guys become.

If they say no, don’t be too upset. As long as this is not a pattern, it’s safe to say they may be a bit busy with life.

RELATED: 11 Subtle Traits Of A Popular Person, According To Psychology

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6. Writing a handwritten card

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Did you know that multiple organizations let you connect with other people through the art of letter writing? Many of them are devoted to offering encouraging letters to people who are in dire straits.

It’s true. Letters that you can hold in your hand are amazing because they offer you a physical way to see that someone cares about you. Besides, you can get creative and add artwork to them.

Pen pals are awesome, man. Writing a letter of support to someone in need can significantly enhance your connection with them. 

It provides a tangible expression of care, allows for deeper self-reflection, and fosters a sense of empathy and understanding, particularly compared to casual communication. 

A study published in Trends in Psychology demonstrated how writing about emotional experiences, including those of others, can improve well-being and emotional regulation.

RELATED: Harvard Study Reveals The Secret To Being Likable Comes Down To One Thing

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7. Volunteering

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It is very hard to meet adults when you are older, which is why volunteering is becoming more popular than ever. Admittedly, I’ve found a lot of volunteers to be very sanctimonious, but that doesn’t mean all of them are.

Doing good has a strong statistical link to feeling good. In a lot of ways, saving others can help you save yourself from loneliness. My suggestion would be to volunteer for groups in your community that deal with things that matter to you.

For example, I’ve volunteered to help set up outlaw raves. (Okay, not exactly humanitarian, but whatever.) You could be interested in botany and volunteer at the local garden. Or, you could put gaming skills to good use at a local game tourney.

RELATED: Psychology Says If Someone Does These Things In Conversation, They Have Amazing Social Skills

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8. Working on being a better person

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One of the hardest things to do is to hit the pause button and ask yourself if you honestly were the nicest person to others.

Ask yourself, would Mr. Rogers do this? If I showed my parents my actions, would they approve? How would I feel if someone behaved the way I treated others to me?

Ask yourself how you would feel if your little sister or mother was treated the way you treat others. Are you okay with that?

A little introspection goes a long, long way when it comes to developing social skills. So does dropping your ego and reading up on how to make better moves.

I’ve done this, and it can be hard at first. However, it does get easier.

It isn’t the easiest one on this list, but when you stop defending yourself and start working on being a better person, life becomes nicer to you.

Actively working on improving, particularly by cultivating empathy, kindness, and self-awareness, can significantly enhance one's ability to connect with others. 

Research published by the National Academy of Science found this can foster stronger relationships, increase trust, and promote positive social interactions. When one strives to improve, one becomes more approachable, relatable, and capable of building meaningful connections.

RELATED: Harvard Researchers Reveal The 3-Step Conversation Hack That Can Make You More Likable

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. 

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