If You Want More People To Take You Seriously, Say Goodbye To These 8 Habits
Your behavior is making you appear insincere.
Alexander Gold | Shutterstock The way we're treated by others is often mirrored by how we treat ourselves. If someone is confident, people tend to view them with high regard.
Yet the opposite is also true. If someone sees themselves in a negative light, other people will look down on them, too.
If you want more people to take you seriously, say goodbye to these 8 habits
1. Talking down to yourself
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Self-deprecation can be defined as a form of self-talk that reflects low self-esteem or negative self-regard.
Someone who's self-deprecating most likely has a low sense of self-worth, and they speak negatively about themselves to others. Some psychologists believe that talking down about yourself is a method of self-sabotage, as it leads other people to believe the negative things you say about yourself.
The Berkeley Well-Being Institute highlighted a distinct connection between self-deprecation and feeling insecure, which can play off each other, forming a negative feedback loop that's hard to escape. The more we disparage ourselves to other people, the more they'll see our negativity as the truth about who we are.
It isn't easy to break the cycle of negative self-talk, but it can be done. Practicing affirmations and considering aspects of your personality that you're grateful for can boost your confidence and help you to shift away from self-destructive thoughts.
2. Ignoring boundaries
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Setting firm boundaries for oneself and respecting the boundaries that other people have set is a crucial part of cultivating healthy relationships. If you neglect your own boundaries or consistently cross people's boundaries, it's highly likely that others won't take you seriously as a result.
Psychologist Guy Winch explained that people often experience a high level of emotional discomfort from setting boundaries, which is why they avoid it as a consistent practice. Winch described the process of setting boundaries as "Uncomfortable and intimidating because [it's] a form of confrontation."
"We typically tolerate 'boundary violations' for too long because we tell ourselves the person didn't realize, didn't mean it, or had good intentions," he said. Even so, respecting boundaries is an essential part of getting others to take you seriously.
3. Being late
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Being late can be seen as rude or inconsiderate behavior, especially when a person consistently fails to show up on time. It's easy to dismiss someone for their chronic lateness, because it seems like they don't care enough about the event to be punctual.
Yet sometimes, people are late not because they don't care, but because they have poor time-management skills. Two psychologists from Washington University researched Time-Based Prospective Memory, which pertains to someone's ability to plan for future tasks. They found that people often have timing biases, so that they think about future timing based on how long it took them to complete that task in the past, which leads to negative consequences.
Even when having poor time management isn't purposeful, showing up late still affects the way other people see you. Therefore, planning ahead and giving yourself some wiggle room to get somewhere on time will make people take you more seriously and improve your relationships overall.
4. Doubting yourself
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Everyone experiences self-doubt at certain times in their life, yet when self-doubt overwhelms someone's ability to perform professionally or foster close relationships, it can be detrimental to their happiness and success.
A social psychology study from 2002 described self-doubt as "A general sense of feeling uncertain about one's competence." The study's authors noted that self-doubt can be a protective behavior linked to someone's sense of competence and self-worth.
A person with high levels of self-doubt likely has lower self-worth, which means that they don't affirm themselves or take themselves seriously. Their internal attitude can spread outwards, making it so other people don't take self-doubters seriously, either.
5. Complaining
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People who constantly complain tend to not be taken seriously by their peers. Of course, no one can be happy all the time, and there's such a thing as being too positive, to the point that it's toxic to other people.
Yet having an overly critical attitude can make someone seem like they stew in negativity. Instead of being proactive and trying to change their circumstances, complainers stay stuck where they are, which brings other people down with them.
In order to be taken more seriously, people should aim for practical positivity, meaning that they don't sugar-coat their challenges, but they don't get too dark, either.
6. Breaking promises
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In order to be taken seriously, it's important to keep your word and follow through on the tasks you said you'd complete. Flaky people who cancel plans at the last minute aren't respected or taken seriously, because they constantly let their loved ones down.
Breaking promises in a professional setting can set people back on the corporate ladder, as they're viewed as being inconsistent and not totally trustworthy. By doing what you say you'll do, you win people's respect, which makes them take you seriously.
7. Not listening
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Listening is a key part of cultivating relationships. The importance of being a strong listener goes beyond personal relationships, affecting a person's professional success as well.
According to a study from "Frontiers In Psychology," organizations need high-quality listeners in order to succeed. The researchers established that employers who have poor listening skills can foster a work environment with high turnover and high rates of employee burnout, along with job dissatisfaction and low commitment to the company. In contrast, high-quality listening creates stronger relationships, which leads to a more positive workplace.
If you want people to take you more seriously, focus on your listening skills and watch your relationships improve.
8. Downplaying your mistakes
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A person who ignores their own errors or avoids conflict and confrontation is usually taken less seriously than someone who holds themselves accountable for their actions.
Being honest and admitting to mistakes isn't easy, yet it shows the people around you that you're responsible, thoughtful, and that you care what they think. Owning your issues is like ripping off a bandaid: It may sting at first, but the quicker you do it, the better off you'll be.
Being accountable to oneself and others is an indication of maturity, and people will be more likely to respect you and take you seriously if you say when you've done something wrong and work to repair the damage.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.