11 Ways To Make Someone Respect You Without Saying A Single Word
Respect is earned with a few subtle actions.
voronaman | Shutterstock We all want to be respected, whether in our personal relationships or in a professional environment. But respect isn't something that's given away freely. We can't force others to respect us; instead, we have to earn their respect.
You may think that commanding respect requires you to be loud and take up space, but in reality, you can gain respect by being quiet.
Here are 11 ways to make someone respect you without saying a single word
1. Have self-respect
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A. | Shutterstock
The ways we let people treat us depend first and foremost on how we treat ourselves. Without self-respect, we can't expect others to respect us. Self-respect is the way we value ourselves and recognize and meet our own needs. Having self-respect shows up in a person's ability to maintain boundaries and hold themselves accountable to their values.
In order to have self-respect, you have to believe in your own worth, which is often easier said than done. Building a stronger sense of self-respect can be done with small, actionable steps.
Instead of tearing yourself down for making mistakes, acknowledge that those mistakes aren't the entirety of who you are. Flip the script on negative self-talk by congratulating yourself on your accomplishments. Focus on your strengths and accept your growth points, while also being willing to work toward positive change.
We're all works in progress, and the way we show up for ourselves determines how others see us.
2. Listen to others
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A. | Shutterstock
Making someone respect you has less to do with always voicing your opinion and more to do with letting others share what they think. Knowing how to listen is often thought of as a soft skill, but it's essential to establishing strong, trusting relationships.
Being a good listener helps you create strong connections with colleagues in the workplace and with friends, family members, and romantic partners. You can improve your listening skills by being fully present and giving your undivided attention to the conversation you're having.
Other essential aspects of active listening include reflecting on what's being said without casting judgment, and affirming the person who's speaking, even if you disagree with them.
When you know how to listen effectively, people will come to you for guidance and respect you and your opinions.
3. Stick to your schedule
G-Stock Studio | Shutterstock
They say time is a resource that no one has enough of, so respecting people's time goes a long way in getting them to respect you, too.
In the workplace, this means starting and ending meetings on time. Make an effort to be concise and clear in what you're communicating. Save your co-workers time by recognizing which meetings are crucial versus meetings where the information can be summed up in an email.
If you're in a leadership position, respect your team's time by shifting your expectations. Don't expect employees to answer messages after the work day ends. Encourage them to work their designated hours and clock out promptly, so they can focus on the other parts of their life.
Respecting people's time shows that you care about them, and will lead them to respect you as well.
4. Show confident body language
fizkes | Shutterstock
The way we present sends a message about how we see ourselves. Slouching, crossing your arms, hunching your shoulders, and fidgeting are all signs that you're nervous, insecure, or uncomfortable in your own skin.
In contrast, when you display confidence with your body language, people will immediately see how highly you think of yourself.
Work on your posture by standing up straight and pulling your shoulders back. Think: power pose. Tilt your chin upwards and relax the muscles in your face. Let your outside appearance reflect your inner strength.
5. Make eye contact
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Another aspect of commanding respect through body language depends on the way you look at people. When you enter a room, do you look down? Do you let your eyes scan from person to person, as though you can't decide who to focus on? If so, you're relaying the idea that you don't know where you belong.
When you talk to someone, give them space, but look them in the eye. Soften your gaze, so that you're not staring as much as connecting with them. Respect is earned by showing that you're present and aware, which comes from looking at people directly.
6. Have a firm handshake
fizkes | Shutterstock
We've all experienced the discomfort of shaking hands with someone who's not totally comfortable with the action. Their hand tends to stay slack, leading to the dreaded limp handshake.
A neuroscience study proved that handshakes are highly important to making a good first impression. As Sanda Dolcos, one of the lead researchers, noted, a strong handshake "Not only increases the positive effect toward a favorable interaction, but it also diminishes the impact of a negative impression…Be aware of the power of a handshake."
Having a firm handshake lets people know that you're confident and capable, and cultivates respect.
7. Take a pause
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Thinking before you speak is beneficial in every type of conversation. We already know how important active listening is, but what do we do when it's our turn to speak?
The best course of action is to take a pause. Wait a few seconds to say your piece. Fill the empty space by taking a deep breath in and out, so you can gather your thoughts while projecting a sense of calmness.
By the time you're ready to talk, the person you're with will be anticipating just how intelligent and insightful whatever you're about to say is, which will make them respect you.
8. Be kind
fizkes | Shutterstock
Practicing small acts of kindness boosts our sense of worth, happiness, and connection, and it also makes you seem like someone worthy of respect.
The American Psychological Association's Healthy Minds poll found that 93% of Americans reported doing something kind for someone else. But being kind isn't always shown by what we say. It's also in what we do.
According to the APA, 68% of people held the door open for someone else, 33% said they donated goods to charity, 19% gave their seat up for someone who needed it, and 17% paid for someone else's tab at a restaurant.
Little kindnesses go a long way when it comes to respect, so go out of your way to be kind to others, and you'll earn their respect.
9. Exhibit emotional control
fizkes | Shutterstock
Learning to have control over your own emotions, especially in heightened environments, is a key part of getting people to respect you.
Think of the boss who yells at their team. Does their explosive anger make their employees respect them or does it sow the seeds of doubt about their boss's capabilities? Now, think of a leader who reacts to tension by projecting a calm energy. They're the ones who garner respect.
Make people respect you by regulating your emotions. Examples of emotional regulation strategies include practicing breathwork, being mindful and staying in the present, going to therapy, and taking breaks when you need them.
10. Follow through on your promises
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock
Trust and respect go hand in hand. Both are earned by being consistent and showing up for people in the ways you say you're going to. No one likes a broken promise. Not keeping your word will erode someone's trust, and lead them to respect you less and less.
Avoid making promises you know you can't keep. Hold yourself accountable when you can't meet someone's expectations by owning your mistakes. Set yourself up for future success and respect by being consistent and following through on what you tell people you'll do.
11. Cultivate your compassion
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock
There's a strong connection between empathy and respect, especially at work.
A research study found that leaders who display empathy for employees help foster a happier and more supportive work environment, both of which increase the respect given and received on the job.
Sixty-one percent of workers polled reported that having an empathic boss allowed them to be more innovative in how they approached their tasks; 76% said that when their team leaders were empathic, they felt more engaged, which is another sign of respect.
Being compassionate is always beneficial, as it allows us to see the world from other perspectives, which is a core factor of respect.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.