11 Phrases A Woman Often Says To The Person She’s Falling Out Of Love With
She may not show that she's falling out of love through her actions, but her words will usually reveal the truth.
Srdjan Randjelovic / Shutterstock The end of a relationship doesn't always have to be some big, dramatic event. Falling out of love can happen gradually and quietly. A lack of conversation and fading excitement may signal that two people are drifting apart. And when a woman begins to feel differently, she may not show it in her actions, but rather in the things she says to the person she's falling out of love with and the subtle ways she says them.
These words may come off hurtful or dismissive because she's emotionally checked out. It's not that she's trying to hurt her partner's feelings or make them feel bad in any way, but rather that these phrases come from a place of feeling confused and overwhelmed. Underneath her words, she's trying to figure out her own heart.
Here are 11 phrases a woman often says to the person she's falling out of love with
1. 'Maybe we're just too different'
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When a woman uses this phrase, it often comes from a place of frustration and confusion because she's realizing that a person she may have once been compatible with is no longer someone she can relate to. Whether it's changing lifestyles, values, or aspirations, she may feel that these differences are simply too huge to ignore anymore.
What may have initially been something she thought would bring the two of you together may now be something that's standing in the way of having a future. There's simply an emotional disconnect happening that she simply can't brush under the rug anymore.
Licensed therapist and author John Kim, LMFT, explained, "Ultimately, for a relationship to thrive, both individuals need to be willing to grow, change, and evolve together. It's a continuous journey of self-discovery and connection. By embracing personal growth and inviting our partners to join us on this journey, we can create a strong and fulfilling relationship that withstands the test of time."
2. 'I miss how things used to be'
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When a woman says this to someone she's falling out of love with, it means that she's reminiscing on good times and realizing that the times she's having currently just aren't measuring up. She may feel that the dynamic between her and her significant other has changed, and not for the better.
Maybe it's too many arguments, not being able to have fun, lighthearted, moments, or just a sense of feeling detached, even if that person is right next to her. She may feel helpless that there's no way to get those moments back.
Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., explained that just because there's distance doesn't necessarily means it has to end, but something does need to be addressed.
"By recognizing these red flags early and taking small, intentional steps, you can restore the connection and closeness you once had. Relationships thrive on effort, and a little can go a long way," he said.
3. 'I don't want to hurt you'
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This is a common phrase a woman will use when she is starting to pull away but also still cares about that person's feelings. It's her way of reluctantly expressing that she doesn't want to cause any pain, but understands that pain is most likely inevitable. You can't prevent the emotional impact of a relationship ending. You can only try to minimize the hurt by being authentic and honest.
A woman who says this may be struggling with her own feelings and may even be trying to downplay the situation. However, it's always best to confront feelings of love lost for someone.
"The pain of heartbreak is very real, but it won't last forever. Your healing comes from going through and flowing with your feelings, not bottling them up or denying them. If you rush the process of grief, you risk leaving some unresolved pain and issues within you," encouraged psychotherapist Moshe Ratson, MBA, MFT.
4. 'Maybe we rushed into this'
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When a woman says this phrase to the person she's falling out of love with, it signifies that she's starting to question the foundation in which the relationship was built on. She may be realizing that she rushed into being with someone without truly taking the time to get to know every aspect of them, and now, she's noticing cracks that she may have simply ignored or brushed away during the beginning stage.
However, she's no longer willing to ignore problems that are preventing her from being able to see a future with this person. She may start to feel regretful that she even allowed the relationship to go on for however long it went on for.
"True, one facet of a healthy, satisfying union is quality of time spent together, not quantity. But it takes time to know whether you are actually experiencing quality time, not just the passion of infatuation. As many singles attest, if they had moved more slowly and had a chance to spend time with a prospective paramour in different settings, they would have spotted red flags much earlier," explained behavioral analyst Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D.
5. 'I need to figure things out on my own'
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When a woman uses this phrase, it's often a sign that she needs to put some emotional, and maybe even physical, distance between her and her significant other in order to work through the feelings she has. It's not just about taking a break, but using the distance to mentally check in with herself about how things are going.
While she still may care for this person, her inability to fully engage in the relationship suggests that there's a deeper problem that needs to be unpacked.
"My advice is that it is better to err in the direction of more time and more work, not less. You want to be sure you have done everything you possibly can before you pull the plug," shared clinical psychologist Josh Gressel, Ph.D.
6. 'Why does this feel like work all the time?'
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A relationship shouldn't feel like you're constantly having to try and make it work. While there will be challenges and obstacles, for the most part, there should be harmony to balance out the rough moments. If the relationship is mainly moments of contention, there might be a problem.
When a woman uses this phrase, she's aware that the emotional labor she's putting into the relationship isn't reaping any benefits for her.
"Not all 'work' is equal in relationships. Healthy relationships require effort, but there’s a line between nourishing connection and simply tolerating harm. Learning to distinguish between [the two] can help you understand when the relationship is genuinely worth nurturing — and when it’s time to seek a different path for your well-being," explained psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D.
7. 'Sometimes I wonder if we're just holding on out of habit'
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When a relationship feels comfortable, it can be hard to ignore the signs that it's time for it to end. Just because there aren't any toxic habits, that doesn't mean the relationship is still fulfilling for both people involved. When a woman starts questioning whether the relationship is worth holding on to, she's grappling with the realization that she may just want to be alone rather than continue to stay in a relationship that just feels like a routine.
It doesn't mean that she no longer cares for her partner, but she's choosing to prioritize her well-being and growth. It's often better to walk away from a stagnant relationship than waste more time trying to make it work by staying.
8. 'I think I've changed more than I realized'
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This phrase is often used by a woman who's beginning to realize she may have simply outgrown the relationship she's in and may no longer feel the same amount of love that she did in the beginning. She may have experienced a shift in her values, goals, and ambitions that has simply changed her perspective in life and therefore, she may find the connection she has with her partner no longer aligns with those views.
This is often an uncomfortable realization to come to because while she may still have love for her partner, she's no longer in love with them in the same way. In this case, it's always healthier to walk away.
9. 'I don't feel excited to see you anymore'
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This phrase is often a realization that the spark and connection that a woman may have felt in the beginning has started to fade with time. You should always be excited to see your partner and the moment that there starts to be dreads or indifference means that something has shifted with the emotional dynamic of the relationship. It's not always a bad thing but simply a sign that it's time to move on.
Instead of mincing her words or trying to stick it out, a woman will say this phrase as way to acknowledge the distance that has formed between her and her partner.
10. 'I feel more alone when we're together than when I'm actually alone'
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A person shouldn't feel lonely when they're in a relationship. That kind of emotional distance means something is wrong, and when a woman uses this phrase with her partner, she's acknowledging that there might not be anything left to hold onto. Sometimes it's truly better to actually be alone than be stuck in a relationship with someone who isn't giving you what you need.
Facing that reality can be tough, but in the end, you can never go wrong with choosing yourself. There's simply never a scenario where settling for emotional neglect in a relationship is worth it.
11. 'I just want peace right now'
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When a woman falling out of love with her partner uses this phrase it means that she's feeling emotionally exhausted by the relationship and probably misses that feeling of peace and safety. This desire for peace can come after quite a long time of trying to make things work and realizing that those efforts have been done in vain because nothing has changed.
She's reached a point where she's simply tired of fighting for something that probably doesn't feel mutual anymore. Instead, she wants to choose peace because she's done sacrificing her emotional well-being to keep something afloat that might not be meant to last.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
