5 Hard Realities The Most Elite Couples Have Accepted About Their Relationships
It's not always easy-sailing and fun moments, but the hard realities make it easier to compromise.
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock No relationship is perfect by any means. There's a lot of hard work, dedication, and trust required to get through the hurdles and challenges that come with a life commitment. Even the most elite couples sometimes struggle.
A content creator and therapist named Jeff Guenther shared some realities that couples must accept about their relationship and their partner in order for their commitment to reach elite status. While it's important to be with someone who checks your boxes and standards, not everyone is going to meet your expectations, and that's why it's important to learn how to compromise.
Here are a few hard realities the most elite couples have accepted about their relationships:
1. You won't love their coping mechanisms
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We all have different ways of approaching conflict, tension, or hardships. Whether it's something that happened in your own life or something happening with your partner, it's natural for the two of you to simply have different coping mechanisms.
"Your partner might handle stress by manically deep cleaning at 3:00 a.m. or disappearing into a 72-hour 'Gilmore Girls' binge," Guenther pointed out. "Part of marriage is letting them cope in ways that make zero sense to you while kindly encouraging healthier outlets."
If at any point, you may not agree with your partner's coping mechanisms or you feel that it's actually damaging the relationship, that's when you should have an open dialogue with them. It's only through constant communication that you'll be able to express your concerns without it coming across as judgment or scorn.
2. You can't and shouldn't fix everything
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"Some issues simply won't be resolved," Guenther claimed. "You'll have that unsolvable conflict, whether it's about how to fold towels or the fact that your relationship with your mother is way too enmeshed, and guess what? You live with it."
Trying to spend years reforming your partner's traits and behaviors is both mentally exhausting and quite impossible. The only conflicts that should be fixed are the ones that actually threaten the foundation of your relationship.
Ignoring those is a recipe for disaster, but not every little moment of strife needs to be addressed, and if it doesn't get on your nerves or it doesn't change the way you view your partner and love them, then it's good to just choose your battles.
3. Mind reading is still not a thing
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If there's a problem in your relationship, especially with your partner, your best bet is to always bring it up. You'll only be able to fix something if the other person is aware that it's happening because, as much as it would be convenient, no one can read our minds when it comes to any form of conflict.
"Even after 10 years, they won't magically intuit that you need help with groceries or that you just need a hug," Guenther said. "If you don't verbalize it, they probably won't do it. Yes, it's annoying, but the upside — you'll both become pros at direct communication."
4. In-laws and extended family will be weird
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There's truly no getting around it. While your partner may be everything you need from a person, it doesn't mean you'll feel the same about their parents or even some of their extended family members.
"There will be family members you're not thrilled about, and they might not be thrilled about you either," Guenther continued. "It's a whole new cast of characters you never auditioned for. Sometimes you bond, sometimes you grin and bear it, either way buckle up for the family group text."
5. Money will inevitably get weird
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According to a SunTrust Bank survey conducted online by Harris Poll, 35% of people blame finances for the stress they experience in their relationships. Tackling finances with your partner is something you can't run away from, and it will truly test the patience that you have for each other.
"It doesn't matter if you're rolling in it or barely scraping by," Guenther said. "Finances create tension. Different spending habits, hidden Amazon purchases or just the existential dread of budgeting as a team is not romantic, but it's a very real welcome to marriage."
As long as you're able to communicate with your partner about finances and have honest conversations about spending habits without judgment or criticism, you'll be able to tackle money-related stressors that will surely pop up.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
