11 Quiet Behaviors Of A Mom Who Truly Loves Her Kids
Words don't say nearly as much as the quietly loving behaviors.
SALMONNEGRO-STOCK / Shutterstock Every good mother wants the best for her children, and as a result, shows up for them to the best of her ability. From helping them with last-minute projects to helping them pay for college, the quiet behaviors of a mom who truly loves her children show that she isn't afraid of making sacrifices to ensure that her children succeed.
It's unfortunate, but the people who tend to work the hardest rarely get the recognition they deserve — and mothers are no exception. From staying up into the late hours to comfort her child to leaving cute notes every day, these mothers show up in ways that leaves others feeling astounded.
These are 11 quiet behaviors of a mom who truly loves her kids
1. She listens to her kids without interrupting
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The first quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is that she listens to her kids without interrupting them. All too often parents play the role of the guiding figure. Wanting to coddle and take care of their children, these parents are so busy advising that they never stop to truly listen. This, in turn, can make the child in question feel isolated, lonely, and misunderstood as their mother rambles on about what they should do or how they should be feeling about certain situations.
However, a truly loving mom isn't like this and as a result, truly listens to her children without jumping to conclusions or assuming that they know what's going on.
Now, for many parents, this might sound irrational, as most parents feel as if they know their children better than their children know themselves. Yet, it's this exact mentality that causes their children to feel misunderstood in the first place. According to a study in 2022, feeling misunderstood often leads to higher stress, and lower life satisfaction, and motivation.
So, while a mother might know what's best, sometimes, it's better to sit down and listen with an open mind. Not only will their children better appreciate their mother for her patience and understanding, but it can also help foster closeness as well.
2. She prepares her kids favorite meals without being asked
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If there's one thing that can take people way back to their childhood, then it's most likely the food they ate growing up. From pasta to rice, the food people ate growing up brings a warm feeling as they vaguely remember their mom making their favorite meal with love. Though people might not remember it in detail, a quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she prepares her kid's favorite meals without being asked to.
Everyone has a favorite food that makes them run to the dinner table. From pizza to spaghetti, there's always that one thing their mom makes that instantly brings a smile to their face. Children don't think much about the effort or time it takes for their mothers to make their favorite meal, but a mother who truly loves her kids makes these meals not expecting to be rewarded for it, but simply because she knows her kids enjoy it.
For some, this might not sound like a huge deal, but food truly has the power to change people's moods without them even realizing it. According to Harvard Health, "Eating high-quality foods that contain lots of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants nourishes the brain and protects it from oxidative stress."
So, if people had a loving mom like this growing up, be sure to give her a big hug. Truly loving mothers such as these aren't as common as most people would like to think.
3. She gives them their independence while always being available
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Children need the space and time to figure out who they are and what they want out of love. And in a world that demands children to go to college once they turn 18, most kids are rarely allowed to simply think for themselves. Feeling pressured, these same kids will commit to a decision they're unsure of, simply because their parents or society expects it. That said, a quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she gives them their independence while always being available when they need it most.
Now, old-school mothers might bristle at the notion that their kids need independence to feel loved. After all, with so many things going on in this world, independence might be the last thing on a parent's mind.
However, independence is a stepping stone of development for children and can have beneficial consequences if mothers embrace it. According to a study published in the Journal of Pediatrics, the rise in mental health disorders is partially the result of children losing independence. Though parents want to protect their kids, they deprive them of their freedom, leading to mental health problems such as anxiety or depression.
So, while allowing their kids the freedom to go out with their friends, have their phones, set their boundaries, or pick their career might sound intimidating, mothers who allow their children this freedom showcase how much they truly love their kids, and their kids can feel it.
4. She uplifts her kids
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If anyone's ever scrolled through social media then they've likely seen stories of terrible moms who belittle or are in competition with their kids. Whether it's because they secretly envy their child or because they want the best for their child, a mother who constantly criticizes her kids will only ever make her children feel unloved and unsupported.
On the flip side, a quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she uplifts her kids without thinking twice about it. It should go without saying that mothers should want to make their kids feel confident and loved. Unfortunately, too many mothers tear their children down because they're just being honest and want the best for them.
However, this can have the opposite impact as a study in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology noted that adolescent kids who were heavily criticized by their parents experienced an increase in mood disturbances and ruminative thoughts. So, if a mother is constantly finding ways to instill confidence in their children then she most likely loves her children and truly wants the best for them.
5. She’s able to admit when she’s wrong and apologize for it
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Let's face it: nobody wants to apologize and admit that they're wrong. If given the choice between keeping their pride intact or admitting that they might've made a huge mistake, most people would ideally opt for keeping their pride intact. That being said, a quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she's able to admit when she's wrong and apologize for it.
Most parents aren't taught how to own up to their mistakes. Growing up, their own parents likely never apologized for their wrongdoings since 'they're always right.' And unfortunately, this mentality carried on into most mother's belief systems, causing them to have a hard time saying sorry.
However, this isn't necessarily their fault. According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, people refuse to apologize to protect their self-esteem. On top of greater self-esteem, people who refused to apologize also felt more in control and powerful, which can explain why mothers might find it difficult to say, "I'm sorry."
Knowing this, a mother who isn't afraid to apologize doesn't just love her children, rather, she has likely done the inner work necessary to grow as a person, making it much easier to admit wrongdoings, even to her children.
6. She asks about their interest
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The next quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she asks about their interests. Now, plenty of moms ask their children, "How was your day today?" As a matter of fact, this is the go-to response that most parents consider the ultimate bonding question.
Unfortunately, this question is surface level, as most kids will likely respond with some muttered variation of "fine" before heading off into their room, only reappearing again once dinner is done. To form a closer bond with their child, mothers who truly love their kids aren't afraid to get interested in what they're interested in.
Doing her best to get closer to her children, she isn't afraid to ask them what their favorite games are or what TV show they've been obsessed with lately. Even better, a truly loving mother isn't afraid to get involved in her children's interests to better bond and understand them.
Social psychologist Susan Newman Ph.D. suggested the four-step method for mothers to better nurture their child's interests and passions. She explained that while it's important to know their interests, it's also important to nurture their passions right at home. For instance, if their child loves to paint then setting up a painting room might be a great way to think outside the box.
So, even if a mother doesn't do all these things right now, doesn't mean she can't start! By getting curious and engaging in their interests, mothers can create an environment in which children feel understood and seen.
7. She celebrates their small wins
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Every mother knows that when their children win big it's time to pull all the stops and celebrate. Whether it's getting accepted into their dream University or getting their dream job, there are common sense things that deserve a little appreciation and acknowledgment. Yet, what about the small wins?
It's sad to say this, but most children are celebrated for their accomplishments rather than their efforts. Rather than mothers showing how proud they are for how hard their kids work, most mothers only acknowledge their efforts when they yield results, which can be very unmotivating for most children.
According to a study published in Child Development, praising children's efforts rather than results can actually motivate them as they adopt incremental motivational frameworks. To avoid this, mothers should also give praise when praise is due. If they notice their child is staying up late to study or got an A on an especially hard test, don't be afraid to say a good job and surprise them with a small gift. Celebrating those small wins though minor, truly helped children feel the most loved.
8. She leaves little notes for them throughout the day
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There are many ways for moms to express their love and adoration for their children. From physical touch like hugs to telling them in person, mothers who truly love their children are always finding ways to show it to them, whether they realize it at the time or not.
Yet arguably, the best quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she leaves little notes for them throughout the day. Whether it's on the countertop when they wake up or in their school lunch box, these reassuring messages likely have a huge impact on a child's mental health.
It's sad to say, but many children grow up not feeling loved or valued as a result of not hearing it or feeling it enough. As a result, children can grow distant and unintentionally cut their mothers off as they feel as if they don't care or wouldn't understand anyway. This is why, constantly expressing this love by leaving little reminders is so important.
According to a study published in 2023, social trust and support help to reduce loneliness and as a result, improve their psychological well-being. In an age where more children are suffering from loneliness, giving friendly reminders that their children are not alone and are valued can oftentimes be a safety line for many kids.
9. She stays up late to comfort her children during tough nights
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From health issues to nightmares, there are many reasons why young children can't fall asleep at night sometimes. Luckily, most mothers are attentive and have zero issues with staying up late in order to get their fussy baby to fall asleep peacefully.
However, as their child gets older, the need to stay up into the late hours decreases as mothers assume that their children no longer need them. Yet arguably, their child might need more than ever as they enter into the uncertainty of their teenage years. No longer feeling so sure about themselves, many teenagers might have difficulty sleeping due to stress, drama, or fear of the future.
Unfortunately, many teenagers bear this alone, as they often feel like going to their mother for comfort is something that babies do, which couldn't be further from the truth. Good mothers have zero issues staying up to comfort their children during especially tough nights.
10. She remains calm even when her kids are frustrated
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To be honest, it can be hard to remain calm when people are frustrated, disrespectful, or crying. It's unfortunate, but most people growing up weren't taught much about emotional intelligence and as a result, don't have the time or patience to remain collected and calm. Fortunately, a quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she remains calm even when her kids are frustrated.
Mothers who can remain in charge of their emotions aren't as common as most people might think. Never being taught how to control their emotions and constantly feeling overstimulated, these mothers snap because they lack the support system necessary to keep themselves grounded in the first place. Still, a truly loving mom does her best to show up for her children, regardless of how she feels.
Engaging in techniques such as deep breathing or simply taking a break from the conversation, these mothers have a hold over their emotions that leaves most people beyond impressed.
With that being said, this doesn't necessarily mean that they're immune to all of their children's outbursts. After all, mothers are human beings who are allowed to mess up and make mistakes. Yet, if a mother actively does her best every day, not only does this show how much she loves her kids, but it also shows how willing she is to improve herself every day.
11. She actively encourages them to focus on their mental health
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Finally, the last quiet behavior of a mom who truly loves her kids is if she actively encourages them to take breaks and focus on their mental health. Many mothers place a great emphasis on school and extracurricular activities. And wanting the best for their children, these parents might go to the extreme to ensure their children remain on top in their classes.
From now allowing breaks to not allowing them to hang out with friends, some mothers take their children's schooling to the extreme. Yet, a mother who truly loves her kids does her utmost to ensure that her kid's basic needs are met. Not wanting her kids to feel pressured or worse, become isolated, these mothers always encourage their children to take a break.
Now, for parents who are on the strict side, this might seem like a waste of space. After all, focusing on school is much more important as it could potentially lead their children to live a highly successful life. However, pushing their kids too much and not allowing breaks is the quickest way to impact a child's mental health, possibly leading them to fail in the process.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.