11 Signs You Were Raised By Old-School Parents Who Knew What They Were Doing
It may not have always seemed fun, but being parented well means growing up to be a better person than you would have been otherwise.
pics five / Shutterstock Like many other trends and fads, parenting styles evolve over the years as people adapt to changing times. While many people find fault with the way older generations of parents chose to raise their kids, as well as with the behaviors they passed down to them, there is something timeless about how old-school parents disciplined and prepared their children for the real world.
If you were raised by old-school parents who knew what they were doing, they weren't concerned with the way other people perceived their parenting choices, because they knew they were doing right by their children. Now as adults, their kids are eternally grateful they were taught important life lessons necessary to navigate what it means to be a responsible and dependable person.
Here are 11 signs you were raised by old-school parents who knew that they were doing
1. Respect was nonnegotiable
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In an old-school household, respect wasn't something to play around with. Not only was it encouraged, but it was expected, whether that meant respecting your elders, teachers, or even other family members, you knew that having any bit of attitude would result in being disciplined. Using phrases like "please" and "thank you" were just second nature.
Of course, teaching kids respect as a parent means you also have to extend that same grace to them as well, which old-school parents made sure to do. Respect isn't forced, it's earned.
"When adults fall short on these promises to children, they have forfeited any respect due to them. But one way we can indeed respect our children is to understand their developmental limitations and communicate rules and expectations to them in a way they can understand," explained Gabriel Young, Ph.D., a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
2. Chores weren't optional
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Old-school parents were rarely ever lenient when it came to making sure their kids were completing their assigned chores on time and thoroughly. Research has found that there are benefits to including chores in a child's routine from as early as age 3. Children who do chores exhibit higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and better equipped to handle certain emotions, like frustration.
From a young age, children raised in this type of household were held accountable for their chores, and now as adults, many of these individuals have quite a strong work ethic because it was ingrained in them from a young age.
3. They didn't play around when it came to manners
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In an old-school household, having good manners was nothing short of required. From an early age, you were taught to greet people when you entered a room, the importance of saying "thank you" and expressing gratitude, you held doors open for people, and you used phrases including "excuse me," and "pardon."
"As children get older, you can calmly talk to them about family values as a way of explaining what manners and behavior are expected in your family. This way there is no argument about what 'good' manners are, but rather what the expectations are for your children," encouraged Ronald Stolberg, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist.
Not only were old-school parents simply teaching their children how to have good manners at home, but how to use those manners when they interacted with people out in the world.
4. You were held accountable for your actions
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If you were raised by old-school parents, you knew that there was never any excuse good enough that would make them let you off the hook for something you did. Instead, they were big on teaching accountability and the importance of reflecting on the bad decisions you made in order for you to grow from them.
"Accountability is a way to take responsibility for actions you’re in charge of," said Priya Tahim, a licensed professional counselor. "By teaching kids personal accountability, you’re teaching them that mistakes happen and when those mistakes happen, it’s important to learn to fix or grow from them."
"It helps instill moral values of right and wrong, even when there is no one watching. It also allows kids to see that it’s OK to make mistakes, and there are ways to move forward from those mistakes."
Now, as adults, they're able to acknowledge and take ownership of their mistakes without shying away from the consequences because that foundation was laid for them by their parents.
5. You actually played outside instead of being glued to a screen
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Old-school parents had zero tolerance for technology being responsible for raising their kids. Instead of sitting in front of the TV or playing on a tablet, kids raised in this type of household were kicked out of the house and not allowed back in until the streetlights came back on. They were encouraged to play with other kids in the neighborhood out on the front lawn instead of sitting inside.
According to the National Institutes of Health, excessive screen time in children can result in a barrage of problems, including problems in social development, obesity, poor sleep, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. While most of these issues have been recent findings, old-school parents still knew that sitting in front of a screen couldn't bring anything but bad news.
6. They didn't sugarcoat life lessons
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Old-school parents refuse to be anything but realists, especially when it comes to their kids. They didn't believe in sugarcoating anything and refused to shelter their kids from the truth. Instead, they were taught that life can be cruel sometimes, but they just need to have constant strength and resilience to face those obstacles.
"Well-meaning parents sometimes try to shield their kids from unpleasant facts. They assume that the tough details of reality will upset the children and inflict grave harm," explained Richard E. Cytowic, MD, MFA, a professor of neurology. "Efforts to sugarcoat reality or shield children from harsh truths unintentionally hamper their ability to learn from misfortune and develop the resilience that makes negotiating adult life easier."
Not only were old-school parents refusing to sugarcoat but they also didn't hide the struggles they were going through from their kids. They managed to teach their kids that life's setbacks don't have to define them.
7. They let you struggle a bit
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Old-school parents were aware that struggling was part of life and nothing good came from shielding their children from having to go through something because truthfully, the only way out is through. If you were raised by old-school parents, whenever you were struggling with a project or task, your parents probably encouraged you to keep going instead of directly stepping in and solving it for you.
By doing this, now as adults, you're probably able to understand that sometimes tough moments require a little bit of a push instead of immediately turning to the person next to you so they can help you out. This level of independence is crucial for navigating the world as an adult too.
8. They put value in spending time together as a family
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Family time in an old-school household wasn't something that could be postponed or negotiated, and instead was a required and fundamental part of raising their children. Whether it was being present at family dinners, family vacations, family reunions, or other activities, old-school parents made sure that their kids were setting aside time and dedicating themselves to building and nurturing family bonds.
It's because they have a huge value over family, and that no one will have your back than your family. They don't take that bond lightly.
9. They taught you the importance of self-sufficiency
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Old-school parents were adamant about making sure their children knew how to do certain things themselves. This included doing their own laundry, washing the dishes, learning how to cook, and even being able to manage their finances. From a young age, they were determined to make sure their kids were self-sufficient because of how needed those skills were to be a competent adult.
If you grew up in this kind of household, then you learned how to take initiative instead of waiting around for someone to come up and serve you. Now as an adult, that self-sufficiency most likely carried through.
10. You learned to appreciate what you had
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Old-school parents were more concerned about teaching their kids gratitude than providing them with materialistic items. If you grew up in this kind of household, you may not have gotten everything you asked for, but you also didn't expect new things all of the time. Instead, you learned to be appreciative of the things you did have.
You didn't grow up with all of the latest toys and gadgets, but whether it was hand-me-down clothes, used possessions, or even an old car, you learned to take care of them and make them last.
11. You didn't get rewarded for doing the bare minimum
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In an old-school household, doing the bare minimum didn't bring praise and rewards, because parents held their children to a higher standard. Instead, they would teach their kids that the cornerstone of success was hard work and dedication instead of doing something that you should've already been doing. If you hadn't tried your best, then your parents were not about to celebrate mediocrity.
Instead, they stressed the importance of always trying your best and giving your best effort. If you didn't like the results, then they would encourage you to reflect on what you could've done differently so that the next time, you would get the results you wanted.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.