11 Subtle Signs Your Mom Cares More About You Than Herself
Subtle signs you have the best mom ever.
AnnaStills | Shutterstock Moms are known to be the glue that keeps the household in order. They act as protectors and guides, helping their kids for the better.
That said, most of you likely know just how much your mother loved you. However, how do you know if your mom cares more about you than herself?
After all, loving and caring about someone are entirely different things. So, how can someone honestly tell if their mom had the best intentions for them growing up?
The 11 subtle signs your mom cares more about you than herself:
1. She prioritizes your needs first.
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The first subtle sign your mom cares more about you than herself is if she prioritizes your needs first. Let's face it: most people can acknowledge that society has gotten pretty selfish lately.
Most people want things to be their way and their way only. As a result, even parents have begun giving up on sacrificing for and parenting their children.
However, if your mother prioritizes your needs first, then she truly cares about you. According to the Journal of Prevention & Intervention in the Community, parents who put their kids first and are involved led to an increase in their child's academic performance and cognitive competence.
So, the next time you see your mom, don't be shy—show your appreciation. Though small actions like these are necessary, they show your parents how much you mean to them.
2. She always listens.
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Not everyone grows up in a supportive environment. Most kids complain that their parents never listen to or spend time with them.
However, this isn't surprising, considering how many more hours parents are expected to work than just a few years ago. That said, a subtle sign that your mom cares more about you than herself is if she always listens.
Parents are increasingly busy nowadays and, as a result, don't always have time to listen to their children's problems or questions. So, if you feel heard and understood by your mother, congratulations—you're one in a dozen.
Feeling heard benefits you physically and psychologically. According to a study published in Children and Youth Services Review, young people who felt understood experienced an increase in their well-being and mental health.
Additionally, researchers found that young people who felt understood were more likely to engage in help-seeking behavior because they did not think their words would be demeaned or misunderstood.
3. She remembers the little things.
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The most incredible feeling in the world is feeling loved and understood by those around you. Whether that's her remembering that you don't like vanilla cake or hate small spaces, feeling seen is the most significant love language known to man.
So, when your mom remembers the little things, this is a subtle sign your mom cares more about you than herself. On the surface, your mom remembering your favorite food might seem obvious.
However, remembering these trivial things isn't as easy as you make it out to be. According to a 2010 study, working memory is limited and only stores three to five items simultaneously. Additionally, short-term memory only lasts 15-30 seconds, according to Harvard University.
This is why it's extraordinary if your mom remembers those small things. It proves that you matter and that your presence means more to her than you thought.
4. She defends you fiercely.
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A mother's love knows no bounds. As a result, a subtle sign your mom cares more about you than herself is if she defends you fiercely.
Some might ask, "Isn't that obvious?" However, you'd be surprised by how many mothers trash talk about their children to their friends and family members.
Shaking their head in dismay, these mothers will proudly claim that you're "Super difficult and never listen." This is bad, as feelings of being put down by your parents can have significant consequences later.
According to the Family Insitute at Northwestern University, children whose parents put them down experienced an increase in depressive symptoms, less satisfaction with life, and more parent conflict.
So, if your mom fiercely defended and uplifted you, you're lucky! Your mom likely cared about you a lot and, as a result, defended you against anyone or anything.
5. She encourages your happiness, even if it goes against her wishes.
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Most parents dream of their children becoming CEOs, lawyers, doctors, or engineers. This is why parents push their kids towards specific extracurricular activities and are strict regarding grades or who their kids hang out with.
That said, a subtle sign your mom cares more about you than herself is if she encourages your happiness, even if it goes against her wishes.
This is a rare trait for parents to have, but it's also highly impactful. Parents who only care about their desires likely do so because they secretly want to live with their kids. According to professor of philosophy Michael W. Austin, Ph.D., parents who do this neglect their growth.
Knowing this, you should be happy if your parents put your happiness before theirs. Unfortunately, most kids will never experience that unconditional love and support.
6. She does her best to respect you and your boundaries.
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Respecting boundaries should be a given. Parents should never barge into your room without knocking or interfere in your friendships without a reason.
That said, a subtle sign that your mom cares more about you than herself is if she respects your boundaries without you having to ask.
It's sad to say that most parents spend way too much time examining their children's belongings. They turn over desks or look beneath beds, hoping to find something incriminating. They also go through their child's drawers or remove their doors to ensure their child isn't doing anything suspicious.
Though most parents have good intentions, such actions can lead to a strained relationship if parents aren't careful. Yet, that doesn't mean parents shouldn't snoop just a little!
For instance, if your parents look through your phone, this isn't necessarily a sign of disrespect to your boundaries. According to the Pew Research Center, 48% of parents have reviewed their child's phone call records or messages.
The world is filled with dangerous people. That said, you can tell if your mom cared more about you than herself if she told you the reasonings before she gave you that phone.
She showed you immense respect by explaining and informing you beforehand, allowing you to choose what you would and would not share with your parents. In the process, she indirectly helped you maintain your boundaries.
7. She always helps you, even at her own expense.
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Most of you know that one mom who always lends a hand to people in need. However, if that kind nature also extends to their kids, this is a subtle sign your mom cares more about you than herself.
Believe it or not, some parents kick their kids to the curb once they can fend for themselves. Research published in 2023 cited that one in four children experience harm in their lifetime, and out of that statistic, 78% of those kids are neglected.
This is why having a mom that is willing to help is so important. Though it might be seen as a given, this behavior allows kids to succeed and thrive as they have an undeniable support system.
8. She always shows up with a positive attitude, despite her exhaustion.
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Everybody has bad days, and your mom is no exception. Spilling coffee at work and dealing with annoying coworkers are probably the least of her experiences daily.
That said, a subtle sign that your mom cares more about you than herself is if she constantly maintains a positive attitude despite exhaustion.
Let's face it: it can be hard to control your emotions when everything goes wrong. Bad workdays and expensive grocery prices can make anyone lose their mind. However, this is precisely why your mom is such a rarity.
In truth, their positive attitude doesn't just come from thin air. Your mom loves you so much that she chooses to make things about you, not her. As a result, she constantly shows you that she cares about you more than you think.
9. She goes the extra mile to create special moments with you.
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One subtle sign your mom cares more about you than herself is if she goes the extra mile to create memorable moments with you. Now, it should go without saying that parents are extremely busy nowadays.
According to the Pew Research Center, 39% of full-time working moms don't feel like spending much time with their kids. Yet, despite these setbacks, moms who care about you still find ways to go the extra mile for you.
For some, this can mean throwing a surprise birthday party with their friends. For others, it can mean buying the new video game system they have always wanted.
In the past, you might've not thought much about your mom's sacrifice or their king gesture. However, creating those special moments likely took time and resources.
So, the next time you see your mom, thank her for all she's done. Though sad, not everybody has such a caring and considerate mom as you do.
10. She’s there for you emotionally even when it’s inconvenient
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When your mom gets home after a grueling day, she probably wants to kick back and watch The Real Housewives with zero distractions. However, her responsibilities to you come first, which means, that even if it's inconvenient, she pushes her own feelings to the side.
Because of this, she's pretty much always there for you whether you like it or not. Whenever you had a problem at school or broke up with your first boyfriend or girlfriend, she likely held your hand and let you vent it all out.
Now, did it absolutely test her patience or cause her a headache? Most definitely. But in the end, your mom never minded going the extra mile for you. After all, she loves you and wants to be there for you, regardless if it disrupts her schedule in the process.
11. She hides her disappointment for your sake
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Mothers won't always admit to it, but she's probably been let down several times. Whether you flunked out of classes or didn't attend your dream college, these moments caused her a little grief.
Yet, the best thing about a mom who cares more about you than herself is that she never lets her disappointment get to her. She never allows those feelings to manifest or show on her face.
Instead, she kept things upbeat and hid her disappointment well for your sake. As a result, you grew up feeling like your mistakes or setbacks didn't define you, and because of that, you learned from her and discovered something new about yourself.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers topics such as self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology.