11 Things A Wife Should Never Have To Beg Her Husband For
No one can meet all of anyone's needs, but there are some things that should just be a given.
Josep Suria / Shutterstock When it comes to having a stable marriage, husbands and wives need to make communication their top priority. Spouses should be able to express whatever it is they feel they need without fear of being judged or attacked. Whenever reasonably possible, those needs should be met, and no matter what, there are certain things a wife should never have to beg her husband for.
Honesty, transparency, and direct dialogue have the power to keep romantic partnerships strong. Relationships thrive most when both partners do their best to make sure the other is heard and that their needs are met.
Here are 11 things a wife should never have to beg her husband for
1. Respect
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Mutual respect is the baseline of every healthy relationship. As Anchor Light Couples Therapy Practice pointed out, “We can not thrive in relationships with people who do not support our well being, speak to us in ways that are demeaning, or devalue who we are individuals.”
They described a respectful relationship as “one where each partner honors the boundaries, ideas, and feelings of the other person.”
“Respect means you are safe to be vulnerable with your partner,” they explained. “When you are struggling to gain respect or get someone to see your value, cultivating a safe emotional connection will not be possible.”
When couples accept each other without judgment, they build respect in real time. They might not agree all the time, but they hear each other and hold space for their individual experiences. They work together to foster a foundation of emotional security, which allows them to be their most authentic selves.
2. Loyalty
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A wife should never have to beg her husband to stay committed to their love. Like respect, loyalty is a core element of a healthy marriage. Without loyalty, there’s no trust, and without trust, a relationship will inevitably fall apart.
Psychologist Michael Regier revealed that, “Loyalty is imperative to a great relationship and a lifetime of love.”
“At a foundational level, loyalty is about committing to an emotional connection,” he explained. “We look to our partner to be the number one person to share our hearts with, no matter what external distractions surround us or what we are feeling.”
According to Dr. Regier, loyalty isn’t automatic in any relationship, rather, it’s something that “requires a whole-hearted love relationship.” True loyalty is a commitment. It’s an ongoing action — a promise you keep making to each other, day in and day out.
3. Expressions of gratitude
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A wife should never have to beg her husband to say those crucial words that keep their marriage from falling apart: “I appreciate you.” As couples settle into the rhythm of their shared life, they often forget how important it is to share how grateful they are for each other on a continual basis.
Couples counselors Linda and Charlie Bloom shared that “saying ‘thank you’ to your partner does more to make a romantic relationship last than simply saying the words ‘I love you.’”
The Blooms pointed out that gratitude isn’t a cure-all for conflicts, but expressing how much you appreciate each other keeps your marriage centered around kindness and compassion, which brings people closer.
“Couples in a relationship with an attitude of gratitude are prompted to continually seek out ways to make each other’s lives easier, more pleasurable, more enriched, and more fun,” they explained.
When couples display daily gratitude, it means “they show up, are present, notice the tiniest things, and are generous of spirit. They know better than to take things for granted.” Long-term relationships falter when couples don’t express how much they care for each other.
4. Emotional availability
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Everyday chaos can make it hard for husbands and wives to find time for each other. Juggling the demands of family life is exhausting. For many couples, communication revolves around logistics, like deciding who’s picking the kids up from school and who’s making dinner.
Yet finding a moment of peace for emotional discussions is a crucial part of continuing to show up for each other. According to psychologist Samatha Rodman Whitman, “Women want a man who is in touch with his emotions, and who can and does express how much he loves her. When a man doesn’t say much about his feelings, it is hard to connect.”
True emotional availability means opening up and “telling her how important she is to you, how much and why you love her, and how happy you are to be with her.”
“Be open forthcoming and emotionally generous,” she advised.
Connecting on a deeper level is what keeps relationships alive. Without emotional availability, it’s almost impossible to build a sense of intimacy, which is something a wife should never have to bed her husband for.
5. Quality time
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Spending uninterrupted time together is something a wife should never have to beg her husband for. While maintaining a sense of independence contributes to a healthy, interdependent relationship, true intimacy is impossible to access without quality time.
Quality time involves more than just sitting next to each other on the couch with the T.V. blaring while you both scroll on your phones. It means doing something together, something out of your usual routine. Whatever you decide to do for your quality time, it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. You can take a walk together at sunset. You can slow dance in the living room. You can share your favorite meal.
Fostering an ongoing connection takes effort, but a wife should never have to beg her husband to commit to putting in that effort.
6. Staying present
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We live in a world of constant distractions. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the tasks and responsibilities demanding our attention. As busy as they might be, a wife should never have to beg her husband to pay attention to her. Staying present with each other is essential to making a marriage last.
Wives want their husbands to show up and keep showing up. She wants him to share how much he loves her through romantic words and consistent acts of kindness. Being present means actively engaging in the relationship. It means listening and truly hearing each other. It means following through on the promises you’ve made.
Staying present is a love language, one that declares how much your partner matters.
7. Supporting her ambitions
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Wives want to know that their husbands believe in them. They want to build a shared future together and they want to fulfill their life goals as they go. A wife should never have to beg her husband to be supportive of her dreams. Her ambitions are just as valuable as his, even though they might present themselves differently.
Every strong marriage is built around generosity and reciprocity. Things might not be split evenly down the middle, but each person puts in the effort to make their marriage equitable. Achieving equity in a relationship requires couples to open up to each other, be deeply vulnerable, and express what they want out of the life they’re making together. The next step is to offer each other unconditional support, balancing the give and take so both people can make their goals into their reality.
8. Help around the house
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Real romance has less to do with grand gestures and much more with doing small things on a consistent basis. As dating coach Lori Peters pointed out, the little ways people show their love have the biggest impact on their relationships.
“Help your partner out in any way you can, especially the small tasks; they add up,” she advised. “Pick up a sock or run an errand to make their lives easier. Cook dinner when you know they've had a rough day or change the lightbulb that's been out for a few days.”
A wife should never have to beg her husband to help out around the house, and husbands shouldn’t have to beg their wives to acknowledge their daily acts of service.
“Human beings want to know they matter, even when they're doing the most humdrum tasks,” Peters concluded. “No matter where you are on the scale of appreciation, you can always bump it up a notch… All it takes is a little tweak in your thoughts to create the happier, more thankful side of life.”
9. Being on the same team
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A wife should never have to beg her husband to be on her side. Marriage is a partnership more than anything else. Wives need to know that their husbands support them unconditionally, even in moments of misunderstanding. The sense that they’re in it together, working as a team, should exist at the core of every argument.
According to life coach Debra Smouse, “When partners become adversaries, it destroys intimacy and trust.”
“Healthy committed relationships involve a couple being on the same team,” she explained. “Each person chooses to be all-in and commits to working through whatever arises.”
Smouse acknowledged that “there is no way that any two people living together can agree on everything all the time. There will always be moments of conflict or disagreement.”
Being on the same team doesn't mean you’ll always see eye-to-eye, but it does mean that you both put in the work to understand each other’s perspective. It means validating your partner, even when you disagree and aiming for solutions that elevate your relationship.
10. A genuine apology
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Even couples with the best intentions will eventually cause each other harm. The specific details of the damage that gets done is less important than the way each person handles the aftermath. If her husband makes a mistake or hurts her, a wife should never have to beg him to say he’s sorry.
A man should be willing to reflect on his actions, check his ego, and offer a genuine apology without justifying what he did wrong or getting defensive. Saying sorry and really meaning it requires people to see the conflict from the opposite perspective.
As psychologist Guy Winch revealed, empathy is at the heart of every effective, sincere apology. Cultivating empathy in the midst of conflict might not be easy, but it is empowering.
“While it’s emotionally uncomfortable to ‘own up’ to causing harm to another person, when you do so successfully, [it can] mend the 'rupture' between you,” Winch explained. “Offering an effective apology and getting authentic forgiveness is a great demonstration of our agency.”
11. True acceptance
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Acceptance is the foundation of a strong, loving relationship. It might not be easy for a husband to accept his wife’s imperfections, but she should never have to beg him to hold space for who she is. When husbands and wives accept each other fully, without conditions, they allow their love to grow bigger than they ever imagined it could be.
YourTango CEO Andrea Miller described this whole-hearted support as “radical acceptance,” which means “loving someone fully for who he or she really is — flaws, shortcomings, weaknesses, and all. It is loving without judgment. Indeed, it’s going a big step further and replacing judgment with empathy and compassion.”
“Love is an action word because it’s ongoing, endless deliberate actions and conscious efforts that energize and build a lasting love,” she shared.
At the end of it all, radical acceptance “is a bold, powerful choice because it is fundamentally choosing love.”
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.