11 Psychological Tricks Brilliant People Use To Make Anyone Literally Addicted To Them
You'll have anyone and everyone eating out of your hand in no time.
HBRH / Shutterstock Love doesn’t just appear out of thin air, it’s something two people create together. The strength of a romance is rooted in a couple’s commitment to one another. In the early days of a relationship, people are usually consumed with passion. They can’t imagine a future without their partner. As time goes on, that initial spark can fade, which leads to a stagnant relationship.
It’s entirely normal for relationships to change over time, but you should still feel devoted to the life you’ve created together. If you want to keep your love alive, you can use these psychological tricks brilliant people use to make literally anyone addicted to them.
Here are 11 psychological tricks brilliant people use to make literally anyone addicted to them
1. Follow through on promises
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By demonstrating how dependable they are, brilliant people can make anyone literally addicted to them. Some people make false promises because they don’t want to let their partner down, but promising things you have no intention of doing is the quickest way to disappoint people.
Couples counselor Susan Saint-Welch revealed that real romance requires continued commitment.
“Relationships are like a greenhouse… [they] need loving care, hard work, and maintenance to flourish,” she explained. “They need nourishment to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds.”
Being unreliable is a breach of trust that ultimately leads to betrayal. Brilliant people do exactly what they say they’ll do. Cultivating trust isn’t a one-time event. When someone shows up for the person they love in a consistent, reliable way, they build up a solid sense of trust.
2. Create excitement
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Brilliant people make even the most mundane things feel exciting. Relationship maintenance isn’t only about sweeping romantic gestures. It’s also about showing up for each other in small ways, like meal-planning, making a budget, and keeping the house clean.
Brilliant people know how to create a sense of adventure for everyday tasks. They make life feel special, even when there’s nothing particularly special going on. They make up silly songs about every piece of laundry they fold. They dance down the grocery aisle because it makes their partner laugh.
Brilliant people understand that life is made up of little moments, and they're committed to bringing their partner joy every single day.
3. Be vulnerable
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Being vulnerable might feel like a risk, but it’s the most important part of an intimate relationship. As social worker Terry Gaspard explained, “Opening up to our partner can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but vulnerability in a relationship is the most important ingredient of having a trusting, intimate companion.”
Vulnerability makes people feel connected on a deeper level, which is the only way for a romance to keep blooming. When one person opens up, it gives permission for their partner to share who they really are.
“For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to depend on one another and feel that they are needed and appreciated for the support they give,” Gaspard shared.
Vulnerability builds trust. When people share the tender parts of their inner world, they see each other for who they really are. The authenticity they share is a gift, one that’s worth its weight in gold.
4. Validate their emotions
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Emotional validation is a psychological tool brilliant people use to make anyone literally addicted to them. They give their partner space to feel their feelings without passing judgment or minimizing their experience. Psychologist Dr. Jamie Long pointed out that the value of emotional validation in a relationship actually can't be overstated.
“Validation is a critical communication tool and expression of love and acceptance in relationships,” she explained. “Validation doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with another’s subjective reality, [it] simply allows another person’s emotional state a space to exist… It says I hear you. I see you. I get it. I care about your feelings.”
“The deeper you can understand where they’re coming from, the more validating you will be,” Dr. Long concluded.
5. Communicate clearly
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Clear communication is a key part of keeping a relationship alive. While being passive-aggressive keeps people on unsteady ground, being honest and direct removes the doubt between people. Someone who says what they mean and means what they say can make literally anyone addicted to them, because that kind of authenticity is rare to come by.
Relationship counselors Linda and Charlie Bloom revealed that effective communication isn’t always about speaking, it’s also about listening.
“Happy couples in healthy relationships have finely-tuned communication skills and are experts in the art of attentive listening,” they explained. “They don’t simply receive the information; they are informed by it — and frequently change their behavior accordingly.”
“Make the effort to hear your partner and understand their message,” they advised. “Listening is a crucial element in healthy relationships, as it fosters trust, connection, and understanding."
“Remember that listening is love,” they concluded.
6. Inspire them to change
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Part of loving someone fully is loving them for who they are now and who they’ll continue to be. Real love recognizes that the person you end up with won't be the same person you met at the start of your relationship. Brilliant people hold space for their partners to grow. They encourage them to change in ways that illuminate their true selves.
Life coach Michelle Thompson noted that being willing to change is “the tool that benefits relationships most.”
“Being able to identify our goals, see our own roles and patterns, and show up for the people we love is what makes us fantastic partners,” she shared.
“If you want to improve your relationship, you must be willing to take action and be committed to seeing it through,” Thompson explained. “Determine your willingness to shift the behavior patterns, thoughts, and beliefs that interfere with you being the best partner you can be.”
Embracing change might not come easily, but it’s a crucial element of giving relationships room to evolve.
7. Have compassion
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Brilliant people use compassion to make anyone literally addicted to them. By centering kindness, they show their partner just how deep their love is. As psychologist Dr. Lynda Klau revealed, “compassion builds trust.”
“Judging closes a door,” she explained. “The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to communicate respectfully with your partner.”
With compassion, “No matter what you're feeling in a situation, you channel the energy of your emotions so you say what you need to say in a constructive manner… Everything you say comes from love.”
“As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting,” Dr. Klau concluded. “This involves actively listening, validating emotions, showing empathy, and supporting your partner.”
8. Support their dreams
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Brilliant people are present and supportive in their partnerships, which makes anyone literally addicted to them. They do everything in their power to elevate the person they love most. They join forces with their partner and support their dreams. They believe that setting goals pushes them both to be their best selves.
They hold onto a shared vision for their future. In moments when their partner loses faith or is overcome by doubts, they remind them how strong and capable they are. They understand that having dreams means having hope, which makes their connection even deeper.
9. Honor their individuality
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When two people truly love each other, they honor each other’s individuality. They embrace the unique qualities that make them who they are and they don’t expect their partner to change the core of their identity for the relationship.
By honoring their partner’s individuality, brilliant people allow them to show up exactly as they are. They give them space to breathe and explore their own interests, because they understand that cultivating their independence keeps them unified.
10. Express gratitude
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It might seem overly simplistic, but practicing gratitude is a psychological trick brilliant people use to make anyone literally addicted to them. According to therapist Dr. Terri Orbuch, gratitude is “a very vital factor in happy relationships.” She described the practice of gratitude as “making your partner feel valued, loved, and supported with simple acts and behaviors.”
“Practicing gratitude and showing it to your partner will help you fulfill your partner's first two needs: the need for reassurance and the need for intimacy,” Dr. Orbuch explained.
“Do and say simple things often to make your partner feel noticed and cared for,” she advised. “If you take the time to say it and show it to your partner, you'll receive gratitude in kind.”
By sharing how they feel, brilliant people let their partners know how grateful they are to be with them. Gratitude is a way to let people in. Every time you tell someone how much you appreciate them, it allows them to see how much value they bring to your life.
11. Accept them completely
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When brilliant people love someone, they do so with their whole hearts. They accept their partners for exactly who they are, because they know that they’re so much more than the sum of their imperfections. YourTango CEO Andrea Miller described the process of “loving without judgment” as radical acceptance, which is “the key to making a relationship not only work but thrive.”
“To radically accept someone means: I know of your flaws, failures, weaknesses, and shortcomings. I still love you, here and now. I won’t resist or resent these differences and shortcomings. I will try to extend them tenderness and make peace with them,” Miller explained.
Flaws don’t make people any less attractive. Flaws reveal a shared humanity, which is what keeps people connected and lets their love grow.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.