11 Admirable Traits Of Quiet People Who Listen More Than They Talk
There's power in helping other people feel heard and comfortable in conversations.
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock.com Feeling safe, comfortable, and valued in conversations is one of the great superpowers of empathetic people with incredible listening skills. Not only are they tuned into what you’re saying, they’re making you feel welcome with open body language, understood with intentional questions, and connected with bonds over shared experiences.
Of course, active listening is only perfected with practice, as psychology expert Susan Krauss Whitbourne states, and there are certain admirable traits of quiet people who listen more than they talk that make practicing in conversations with others equally fulfilling and healthy. Even if they’re not taking over conversations or speaking about themselves constantly, quiet people have the power to make other people feel loved — an important part in finding healthy connections and nurturing impactful social relationships.
Here are 11 admirable traits of quiet people who listen more than they talk
1. They’re great at reflection
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By making space for other people to speak about themselves, quiet people not only focus on actively listening, but give themselves a chance to process information and acknowledge their own emotions.
Unlike extroverts, who may be able to process information and speak through it, introverts tend to rely on lulls or pauses in conversation to investigate how they’re feeling.
Making space for reflection, even if it’s after a conversation ends, can be powerful for helping quiet people cultivate great relationships, as they feed into their own self-awareness and general emotional health.
2. They ask thoughtful and intentional questions
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According to experts from Integrative Psych, taking the time to ask people thoughtful questions can accelerate the process of connecting with someone, as it helps to illuminate shared interests and experiences and give people space to talk through what they’re passionate about.
Asking thoughtful questions is also an important part of active listening strategies that quiet people tend to be great at. When you listen more than you speak, it helps other people feel heard in conversations.
3. They remember people’s names
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Most people genuinely appreciate being remembered and valued, according to The Social Skills Center, and luckily, helping other people feel that way is one of the admirable traits of quiet people who listen more than they talk.
They’re not only better at listening and healthily steering conversation, they also tend to remember names better than others.
They prioritize meaningful, quality connections over constantly speaking about themselves or making as many friends as possible, giving them space to genuinely get to know people — from learning their name to finding out about their shared experiences.
4. They’re subtly confident
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There’s a powerful link between social connection and self-esteem, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, as individuals who seek out genuine connection and invest in healthy conversations tend to cultivate better relationships.
Even expressing gratitude to a stranger or helping someone with their groceries is impactful, as research suggests, as it promotes the empathetic and kind-nature of quiet people who may listen more than they talk.
With a better, more stable inner circle of relationships and a commitment to genuine connection in all of their conversations, even quiet and introverted people can be subtly confident in conversation without saying a word.
5. They notice the little things
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While extroverted people tend to think about what’s “missing” from their relationships and conversations, opting to fill in during things as simple as a conversational pause, quiet people who listen more than they talk focus on gratitude for the small things.
Instead of sabotaging connection with an aura of ungratefulness or annoyance, which a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology journal says is common for extroverts, they focus on expressing gratitude, doing small favors for others, and helping support others in passing moments.
Not only does this feed into their positive experiences and healthy relationships, it’s shown to also boost their happiness and emotional health.
6. They’re comfortable with silence and conversational pauses
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With an aura of patience and grace, quiet people who listen more than they talk have the ability to make others feel more comfortable with silence and conversational pauses.
There’s no nagging pressure to continue the conversation or anxious thoughts about awkwardness, but a peacefulness that lets everyone process information, reflect, and acknowledge their emotions.
According to Jennifer Kahnweiler, the author of “The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength,” introverted and quiet people also benefit from spending time alone — generally comfortable with the silence associated with less social interaction.
Not only does this time fill their social battery, giving them a better sense of security, intentionality, and intuitiveness in their conversations, it helps them to unpack their emotions, set goals, and invest in personal interests and hobbies that fuel their emotional stability and health.
7. They’re patient
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Quiet people who listen more than they talk often make space for intentional observation, whether it’s with their own internal emotions, the body language of others, or energetic shifts in conversations.
Patience is required for this kind of subtle observation in quiet people, as they take the time to understand people and fend off impulsive behaviors or decisions.
This kind of patience not only helps them to connect in passive conversations with individuals who might be similarly introverted or less well-spoken, it sparks the grace needed to cultivate healthy relationships with people. They help people who may not otherwise feel heard or valued in conversations to feel more comfortable, opening up the door for more social connection.
8. They have an open and welcoming presence
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As more attentive listeners, introverted and quiet people tend to embody a more welcoming presence in conversations, helping the people around them feel more comfortable, secure, and understood.
A study published in Current Opinion in Psychology argues that this ability to make others feel heard and understood in conversation is a pillar of healthy connection, feeding into consistently positive experiences and long-term healthy relationships.
9. They’re self-aware
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Introverted people who tend to listen more than they talk are thoughtful about crafting how they interact with others, fueled by their self-aware and observant behavior about social connection and conversation.
According to executive coach Keith Ferrazzi, they watch how other people interact, both with others and themselves, and pick out pieces of helpful information that informs their next conversation or connection.
They can specifically respond better to different unique personalities, leveraging their observant behavior to steer conversations to a healthier outcome, sometimes without saying a word.
They’re also able to connect with diverse demographics of people by leveraging their self-awareness, and even tend to make better, more quality friendships.
10. They’re great at conflict-resolution
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Unlike extroverted or impulsive people WHO tend to jump into conversations before they’ve had a chance to process information and reflect, quiet people tend to listen more, use silence to form their thoughts, and encourage other people to share about themselves before speaking.
They process information internally, leaving space for introverts to speak through their emotions and needs.
During conflicts and arguments, this ability to make space for others to express their concerns and feel heard is a superpower — removing the intense emotional responses associated with feeling disrespected or misunderstood with constant interruptions or yelling.
11. They network well with others
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According to leadership coach Heather Moulder, introverted people tend to network, both professionally and personally, better than extroverts, because they’re more focused on quality over quantity of conversations and connections.
One of the many admirable traits of quiet people who listen more than they talk is their ability to form meaningful connections, fueled by their active listening skills, thoughtful questions, and desire to learn from the people they meet.
There’s power in letting other people speak, specifically to help them feel understood and valued in conversations, in ways that can help to make connections that leave a lasting impression.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.