People Who Always Get Dumped In The First Month Tend To Make These 9 Cringey Mistakes
The first couple of months of a new relationship can feel like bliss, but they won't last long if these mistakes are made.
sommersby | Canva The first month of dating is an exciting one. In that excitement, it is easy to jump ahead and make some big dating mistakes.
One minute, sunshine and rainbows, and the next minute, you’re dumped. Hello, confusion, broken heart, and take-out for one again. Breakups are painful, no matter what causes them — and even worse when you can't even figure out what you did wrong in the first place. But it often comes to down to a few preventable errors.
People who always get dumped in the first month tend to make these mistakes:
1. They make plans too soon for the future
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Here’s a rule you can steal from How I Met Your Mother: “Never make plans with a date further in the future than the amount of time you’ve been going out.”
Of course, in a non-sitcom land, this rule gets voided once you’re in a serious, committed relationship — otherwise, no one could ever make marriage vows — but in the first month of dating, keep plans for the future at a minimum. This should be a no-pressure time to get to know one another.
2. They use the 'L' word too early
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You might be falling for him, but don’t drop the “love” bomb just yet. Keep your date from getting overwhelmed — and guard your own heart — by taking things slow. There’s plenty of time for love talk. In the meantime, just keep things at “like” and reassure your date that you’re interested in moving forward.
Research suggests that the frequency and context of using 'I love you' in the first month of a relationship are linked to the likelihood of being dumped. Saying 'I love you' too early or using it casually without sufficient emotional depth may signal a lack of seriousness or desire to move into a committed relationship quickly.
3. They talk about their future wedding
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Don’t get ahead of yourself. You’ll have plenty of time to plan a wedding…if the relationship makes it past the one-month mark. Also, no one wants to hear that you’ve been planning a wedding on your own. It can come across as too eager — or worse, desperate.
4. They introduce their date to their entire family
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Meeting up with some friends or a sibling for a drink is one thing, inviting your date to your aunt’s birthday party is another. Set aside month #1 as getting-to-know-you time. You don’t want your grandma coming to conclusions about where the relationship is headed before you do.
Related: Don’t meet the kids either. Give it time. Only introduce your kids to someone you’re serious about.
The consensus is that this can signal a lack of seriousness and potentially lead to relationship problems. According to a 2024 study, introducing someone too quickly can create unrealistic expectations and pressure, potentially causing the relationship to end prematurely.
5. They co-purchase something together
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Don’t buy a dog together, an antique table together, or a couple’s membership to the zoo. Don’t even buy a lottery ticket together.
Unless you’re just splitting the cost of dinner, keep purchases separate. Otherwise, you’re prematurely adding a level of commitment to the relationship.
6. They slam their ex
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Your date wants to get to know YOU, not that jerk who dumped you. In a long-term relationship, all the dating horror stories of the past will be revealed. Don’t overwhelm your date with unnecessary (and bitter) details in the early stages of a relationship.
This concept is rooted in the idea that such behavior can be perceived as immature or disrespectful. Research on grief and healing after a breakup suggests that focusing on unhealthy coping mechanisms like anger and aggression can hinder the healing process and damage future relationships.
7. They ask for money
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Don’t do it. Your first month of dating might turn into your last. If someone asks for money within the first month of dating, it can be a sign they're not financially responsible or have other issues they're relying on you to solve.
8. They give them a key
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Draw some careful boundaries for your burgeoning relationship. Don’t merge lives too soon.
Related: Don’t ask him to reschedule his life for you. You’ve been dating for less than a month. Don’t expect him to cancel poker night for your friend’s wine and cheese night. It’s okay to have separate lives, especially this early on.
2022 research explained that giving a key so early can signal potential issues in a relationship, indicating a mismatch in intimacy readiness or an attempt to rush the relationship. Some people might find it concerning that a partner is already willing to give up their personal space and privacy so soon, especially if they haven't yet established a deeper level of trust and understanding.
9. They show up at their work unexpectedly
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Let her brag to all of her coworkers about you for months before you make an appearance. Her work is her space. Respect it. (And when you do eventually show up at work, bring flowers.)
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