He Didn’t Like Me, So He Took Me For Laps Around The Block: A Tinder Date Horror Story
I’ve never tried this before, but decided to use Tinder for a hookup. Never again.
Christoph Graefenstein / Shutterstock Don’t get me wrong. I am very intimacy-positive and I don’t have rules on when that’s supposed to happen. I do as I feel. However, I realized it isn’t as simple as it sounds.
First, as a woman, you need to keep your safety in mind. That means popping up at a stranger’s apartment might only work in movies.
But that day I was feeling good and heartbroken at the same time. A bad combination.
I was once again seeing a guy who liked to spend a lot of time with me but wasn’t ready to commit. So, I was trying to take a step back and meet new people again.
It was a Saturday night, and I was out with friends.
We matched on Tinder and started a chat right away. I remember thinking he was a bit too handsome, but it was a match, so why not?
I asked the little insecure voice in my head to keep quiet. The chat was really cool, and we hit it off right away. He has been to Brazil, and he thought it was pretty cool that I was living abroad.
Maybe I had too many beers because when he asked me if I had plans for later and if the meeting was possible, I said yes.
Mind you it was past midnight, so I know what that meant and the risks that could come with it. But I went.
We met by the Copenhagen Central Station and I failed to catch the vibe. For me everything was okay.
He was very handsome indeed and easy to talk to.
We left the station and started walking. I thought we were heading to his apartment, but right about the time I was telling him another story about my ex-pat life in Denmark, I realized we’ve passed the same park for the third time.
This is when I stopped him and asked what was happening. He just looked at me.
We all know how many men will fight a plague before telling the truth to your face, and while I knew what was happening, I wasn’t about to say “I get it. I’ll be on my way”, making everything effortless for him. You better tell me what’s up.
He very, very awkwardly, looking at the floor, told me: “I guess there is no chemistry from my side, so there is no point taking you to my place.”
Cool! Did you plan on telling me this during our fifth lap around the corner?
Listen, I know what you are about to say.
It was a hookup, so chemistry is critical, and he just felt awkward.
But how come it was entirely up to me to realize what was happening and walk away with grace to free him from a hard talk? If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it.
Share your thoughts with me and let me walk away.
That’s why I threw grace out of the window and told him:
“Listen, boy, you could just have told me this three blocks ago. I am not looking to do cardio at this time and I have someone I can call!”
I started dialing in front of him.
I did call someone I already knew and ended up at his door at 2 am with chicken nuggets. Not my proudest moment, but my ego was very damaged, okay?
From that day on, I never opened Tinder past midnight again.
Jackeline Aguiar is a Social Media Specialist living in Tallinn, Estonia. She writes about love and relationships on Medium.