10 Reasons Guys Break Up With Women That Are Totally Your Fault
Now you know.
Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock If you've ever had your heart broken, I'm going to give it to you straight. While every breakup happens for different reasons, a lot of guys tend to be the one doing the dumping for many of the same reasons.
If you really think about it, the ending of a relationship can't always be caused by something that the guy did ... can it?
Of course, there have to be at least some situations in which the reasons a guy breaks up a woman really is due to something she did.
Of course, none of the reasons outlined below will apply to every breakup, but they are something worthy of giving consideration to.
Check out these ten reasons why he may have broken up with you.
Top 10 reasons men break up with women
1. They don't feel listened to.
When a man says something, give him a chance to speak. Listen to what he says. The problem is that sometimes, guys will end up with someone who makes him feel as though he doesn't know what he's talking about.
We're not always right, but we do have opinions, and it gets under our skin when we're made to feel like our opinion doesn't matter. Who wants to stay with someone like that?
2. They feel like you listen to your girlfriends too much.
We understand the need for female friendship. We can go with the girls' night out deal. But when you start letting your single girlfriends (who constantly run guys off or haven't dated since antenna TV) get into the business of your relationship, that's asking for trouble.
You want to think that your man has a mind of his own when he's out with the guys, right? We're no different. We expect you to talk to your girlfriends, even if it's about us. Just be careful what you decide to bring back from those conversations.
3. They feel like the relationship has become a family affair.
We're not trying to take you away from your family. This is a relationship, not a kidnapping. However, if we're mature enough to leave home and keep what goes on between us just between us, then is it too much to ask of you to do the same?
If you tell your mom and your sisters about every single argument and disagreement that we have, then don't you think that they're not going to like us very much? Then you'll wonder why we don't like going around them, right?
4. They feel like they have to be joined to your hip.
We don't have to go every single place that you go, and we don't expect you to go everywhere with us. That's what makes our time together special. We each had our own likes and dislikes before we met. You did things alone or with your girls, and that's fine.
Don't try to drag your man with you if it's going to be nothing but you and the girls talking. We don't want to sit and listen to talk about hair, nails, fashion, who's man is cheating on who, etc. Just shoot us first, if that's the case.
5. They don't feel trusted.
We expect parolees to give an account of where they've been almost all the time, and who they've been with. Parole officers check to see if the parolees actually report to work. A relationship is supposed to have more trust than that.
If a man feels that he's not being trusted, and he hasn't done anything deserving of the interrogation process (a la Law And Order), then don't expect to have him around too much longer. This would apply primarily to someone who has a lot of insecurities.
6. They think your independence is great — to a point.
Call it ego, male insecurity, whatever you like. There's no getting around the fact that we need to feel that we're in this for more than just sex (yeah, I know ... sounds weird coming from a guy). If you keep telling a man (and showing him, too) that you can do everything on your own, then what do you need him for?
As shallow as it may sound, we do have to have our ego fed just a bit (maybe some guys more than others, but I think you get the idea).
7. They don't think you being too dependent on them is a good thing, either.
I know it sounds like we can't make up our minds between numbers 6 and 7, but there is a balance. It's like we want a grown woman who can handle her business, but still let us know that there's a place in her life for us that only we can fill. You're not a child, and we don't expect to treat you like one or take care of you like one.
If you come to a guy for every single thing, and can't seem to make up your mind or make decisions ... well, one day he may just make up his mind and not come back.
8. They find themselves wondering if you ever have anything nice to say.
Yeah, we mess up from time to time (and it may seem that those times run pretty close together). But what about some props? Can't your man do anything right?
I'm not talking about being patronizing or treating him like a first grader keeping his colors inside the lines ("Way to go, Ronnie!"). Nobody can stand always being criticized. Psychologists call it "positive reinforcement." Men call it "giving us a break."
9. They feel like you haven't forgiven them, because you still won't let them forget.
We've all made mistakes. The thing is to learn from them, not live in them. if your man made a mistake, and you've agreed to forgive him for it, then do that. Don't bring it up and keep beating him over the head with it.
If you keep bringing up the past, then be prepared to talk about your man in the past tense, as in "ex."
10. They feel like you're overly critical of his friends.
He knew them before he knew you. He knows how they are. If one (or more) of his friends are players, he knows this already. You don't have to remind him of that. if you keep making negative comments about them, what you're really doing is showing an insecurity and, in a more subtle way, expressing a lack of trust.
If he's with you and everything is going right then don't let whatever actions his friends take influence the relationship.
Alex Alexander is a frequent contributor to YourTango.