11 Quiet Struggles Only Moms Who Financially Provide For Their Families Will Understand
Mothers who work often sacrifice their mental and physical health to make ends meet.
Sergii Sobolevskyi | Shutterstock Everybody knows that all mothers are superheroes who deserve the world and more. From mothers sacrificing their careers to stay home and care for the kids to working moms juggling it all, all moms put in the effort every day to show up for their kids. Still, there is a silent struggle that only mothers who financially support their families can truly understand.
These mothers are often put in a unique and challenging position. They often take on the mental and domestic tasks at home and work just as much, if not more, than the average person. Because of all these complexities, moms who financially provide go through experiences that some parents won't fully experience until they have that financial weight on their shoulders and their shoulders alone.
Here are the quiet struggles only moms who financially provide for their families will understand:
1. She feels like she doesn't make enough money
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Mothers who work are often stretched thin as it is. With a busy schedule and a million things on their mind, people would like to believe there's a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Yet, despite how hard these mothers work, a quiet struggle only moms who financially provide for their families will understand is feeling as if they're not bringing in enough money.
Most would believe finances are the last thing a working mother thinks about. With how much they sacrifice daily, it's only natural that people would assume that their sacrifice has some merit, right? But despite how hard these mothers work, it never seems to be enough.
With rent increasing, mortgage rates soaring, and eggs getting expensive, all working mothers can think about is how their checks simply aren't enough. According to the American Psychological Association, the cost of living from 2020 to 2024 has risen faster than the national average rate in 11 of the 23 metro areas they examined. So, while mothers who financially provide for their families shouldn't have to think about it, the truth is that they often worry about money more than the average person, especially with the cost of living predicted to get even worse.
2. She feels guilty for not being fully present with her kids
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Kids have a ton of activities to do when they're younger. From field trips to Washington to mother-son dances, normal parents with a balanced schedule might volunteer to donate or help. Unfortunately, a quiet struggle that only moms who financially provide for their families will understand is the guilt of being unable to be present when their kids want them to be.
As much as working mothers would love to be there for their kids, they have bills to pay. It's sad, but most moms who financially provide for their families tend to work crazy hours, causing them to not spend as much time with their kids as they'd like to. While most mothers try not to think about it, the truth is that they know how damaging this is for their kids.
According to a study in 2023, children's time spent with their parents is a huge factor in their well-being and mental health. That said, moms who financially provide for their families shouldn't feel their lack of participation is their fault — the corporate world isn't built for families. With mothers and fathers expected to work overtime while receiving minimum pay, the absence of mothers shouldn't be pinned on mothers; instead, how corporations refuse to work with mothers and fathers, making the younger generations less likely to have kids.
3. She's constantly learning how to deal with her emotions
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As mothers, they're often expected to be superheroes with zero flaws. From keeping their temper in check to being as patient as a saint, a quiet struggle only moms who financially provide for their families will understand is the massive amount of emotional learning they must do.
Now, mothers who stay home also undergo emotional learning. Yet, while stay-at-home moms have the time and resources to better implement these techniques into their homes and behavior, mothers who solely provide for their families barely have enough time to research, let alone try out, these self-help tips for themselves.
This often leaves working mothers stressed, causing them to explode. That said, moms who financially provide for their families still do their best to show up and learn how to be emotionally mature. However, this process is often long and leaves them drained at the end of the day.
Still, they continue to try, as most mothers know just how vital emotional learning is. Not only does it impact their kids, but it also impacts them. For instance, Harvard University cited that high emotional intelligence is a strong predictor of success as it helps people think more creatively about how best to leverage their technical
So, if parents want their kids to be well-rounded and successful, working on their emotional intelligence is a must. Whether they like it or not, kids will always look up to their parents for guidance. This means that if parents want their children to be the best they can be, they must be the first ones to set that example.
4. She struggles with balancing her career and being a good mom
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When women were finally able to enter the workforce and go to school, this was a brand new opportunity to reset society and put men and women on equal footing. Unfortunately, society didn't quite get the memo, and instead of men and women working as a team, women too often take on most of the home chores while balancing their careers.
This is probably why it is a quiet struggle; only moms who financially provide for their families will understand: they are struggling to balance their careers and being a mother. Let's face it: mothers usually have no choice but to fend for themselves. Mothers who are married to single mothers must balance their careers and be mothers with little guidance or help.
As most people can imagine, this often takes a toll on a mother's mental health. According to a study in 2022, having a poor work-life balance frequently leads to increased stress, leading to burnout. Unfortunately, little can be done. While husbands, employers, and family members should step up and help out, this society has become increasingly individualistic, causing moms who financially provide for their families to bear it all with little choice.
5. She feels overwhelmed with everything kid-related
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Very rarely do people discuss the amount of mental load mothers have daily. However, only moms who financially provide for their families will understand just how bad of a mental toll it is to track things all kid-related. Now, sure, stay-at-home moms also understand how difficult it is to keep up with school projects and dentist appointments. However, working moms have another mental toll to take on besides this.
From the amount of work they need to get done to worrying about ar fixes and bills, working mothers must juggle the mental toll of all things kids-related and all things finance-related. In turn, most working mothers tend to have worse mental health and anxiety than the average person.
According to a study published in 2022, moms who take on all the mental load were reported to experience higher burnout rates and career strain. Though people would like to believe that it's gotten better, this same study found that mothers handle 71% of household mental tasks, showcasing just how much pressure working moms have on their shoulders.
With this in mind, what can moms who financially support their families do to better manage it all? Though it might sound annoying, writing down their schedule might be an excellent place to start.
Keeping a mental note of everything can be exhausting for working moms. By keeping a planner and writing down when their kids' appointments or soccer games are, mothers can better organize themselves and their lives. Working moms should also set reminders on their phone calendars so they don't forget. While doing all these things is time-consuming, in the end, their mental health will thank them for it.
6. She doesn't feel like she gives her kids the experiences they deserve
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One quiet struggle only moms who financially provide for their families will understand is the guilt of not giving their kids the experience they deserve. From baking cookies for them to taking them to Disney, moms who financially provide for their families might not have the time to do the things they want to do.
On the outside, this might not sound like a huge problem. However, as kids grow older and compare their lives to those around them, there might come a time when they directly question their moms on why they don't have the same things or experiences as the rest of their classmates.
For moms genuinely doing their best to create a better environment for their kids, this line of questioning can leave them feeling helpless and utterly guilty. After all, they're already putting in much effort to give their kids the best life and education they deserve. But still, there's no arguing that those Disney experiences or fun Slumber party sleepovers have a massive impact on a kid.
According to a study published in Positive Leisure Science, family leisure is one of the most essential things in promoting healthy relationships between everyone. So, while moms do their best to show up for their kids, sometimes, the guilt of not giving them the desired experience might eat them alive inside.
7. She has no time for self-care
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Moms constantly sacrifice themselves to make their families happy and healthy. However, when it comes to their own needs, this can often be flushed down the toilet. Let's face it: moms rarely have a day off, and as a result, the quiet struggle that moms who financially provide for their families have is that they have limited time for self-care.
Once moms get home from a long day of work, there's no sitting down or tag-teaming it out. Mothers who are sole providers must do it all, and that often means little breaks in between. From helping their kids with homework to getting them ready for bed, by the time nighttime rolls around, all working moms want to do is crash onto their bed and fall asleep.
This can explain why so many working moms rarely take care of themselves. Yet, just because this is the norm, doesn't mean it's great. According to a study in 2022, self-care is crucial as it improves well-being and lowers the mortality rate. With this in mind, finding ways to take mini breaks from their kids is essential. On the weekends, creating quiet time where moms can unwind and meditate, read, or put on a face mask is very important. While children might struggle with this at first, with consistency, they will get used to 'quiet time', allowing working moms to unwind, even if it's only thirty minutes.
8. She wishes she could take 'better care' of her kids
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Whether a mother stays home or works, all mothers are accused of not taking care of their kids. That being said, moms who financially provide for their families will understand the guilt that comes along with not taking better care of their kids than anyone else.
Besides not showing up as much as they'd like to, working moms are constantly dealing with burnout. From juggling their job and family to rarely having a good night's rest, the last thing a mom wants to do is come home and cook and clean. This is why some moms depend on convenience or quicker meal ideas to make the day easier.
Yet, with these quicker methods often comes the same guilt of other parents judging them. This is probably why, according to a study published in 2016, women reported feeling more guilty when their work impacts their family than fathers. Despite this, moms who financially provide for their families shouldn't be so hard on themselves. As long as their meals are balanced and they limit eating out to twice a week, it's okay. Remember: balance is key; moms who bear it all shouldn't be shamed for doing their best.
9. She doesn't feel like she has enough support
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Mothers aren't just condemned for their daily actions — they receive zero acknowledgment and support from those around them. Whether it's toxic in-laws or non-present fathers, a quiet struggle only moms who financially provide for their families will understand is the lack of support and acknowledgment from their community.
Many working moms are expected to deal with it all. It's too common to see a mom juggling groceries in one hand and a baby in another while her family or partner sits there without lifting a finger. However, just because this is common doesn't mean it isn't damaging in the long run.
Society was never meant to be so individualistic. Throughout history, many cultures had the mentality that "it takes a village to raise a child," which is why motherhood was arguably much easier back then. Unfortunately, this mentality has been abandoned, causing moms who financially provide for their families to struggle even more than they already do.
10. She's resentful for having to work
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Many working mothers secretly wish they could stay home with their children more. Unfortunately, a quiet struggle only moms who financially provide for their families will understand is the resentment they feel for having no choice but to work. Sure, there's huge guilt around not spending enough time with their children.
However, when push comes to shove, oftentimes, working moms have no choice but to sacrifice quality time over essential needs. Still, this doesn't make it any easier. Most moms understand that their children need them. They understand that they aren't able to show up for them as much as they'd like to.
Yet, regardless of how they feel, working moms must put aside their needs in favor of staying in the office after hours. Is it fair for both the mother and the child? No, but it's either financially providing for their family and keeping a roof over their head or spending quality time with them while their children's basic essentials aren't being met. So, in tough cases like these, moms who financially provide for their families must choose their battles wisely.
11. She feels ashamed when she would rather work than spend time with her kids
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Two things can be true: while some moms who provide for their families prefer to stay home if given the option, others feel ashamed that they like working to mothering any day of the week. Most people don't want to admit it, but parenting isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Sure, mothers adore their children and don't regret being mothers. Still, when times are hard and stress is high, some working moms find solace in being away from home rather than dealing with screaming kids all day. Now, do working moms feel guilty about this? Of course, most working moms feel as if there's something wrong with them for simply needing space.
However, moms who financially provide for their families should never feel guilty about finding enjoyment in their children. It's okay to say that mothers need a break, and many mothers find purpose in what they do. As long as they do their best to care for and love their children, preferring to work occasionally is the most normal thing working moms experience.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
