8 Signs You’re Not Taking Good Care Of Yourself & It’s Affecting Your Kids — According To Dr. Shefali
Your emotional and physical exhaustion has an impact on your kids.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock | kawacreative & gstudioimagen via Canva As parents, all you want is the best for your kids. This is why you sign them up for those expensive extracurricular activities or stay up late helping them with their homework.
Don't get me wrong, these actions make you a super parent. But, is there such a thing as over-exerting yourself? What happens when you push yourself beyond your limit and neglect yourself completely?
Here are 8 signs you’re not taking good care of yourself & it’s affecting your kids — according to Dr. Shefali:
"Taking care of yourself as a parent is not just a luxury; it is a necessity for your child's well-being. When parents neglect their own needs, it can create a ripple effect, leading to emotional and behavioral challenges in children." says clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
So, if you want to be the best parent you can be then here are the telltale signs you're not taking good care of yourself as a parent — and how it impacts your kids more than you think.
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1. You're constantly exhausted.
Do you find yourself constantly tired all the time? Like, you can get eight to ten hours of sleep nightly and still wake up exhausted the next day? If this is you then chances are you're not taking good care of yourself. But why does this matter?
Dr. Shefali explains, "When you are perpetually tired, your patience and ability to engage with your child diminishes. This can lead to increased irritability and less meaningful interactions with your child."
2. You've been neglecting your interests.
A big telltale sign you're neglecting yourself is if you find yourself uninspired. Slowly, you'll begin losing interest in the hobbies or activities that once brought you joy. But why is this?
Well, people who experience burnout experience emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack a sense of personal accomplishment, explains family physician Clark Gaither.
And as Dr. Shefali points out, " "Abandoning your hobbies and interests sends a message to your child that self-care is unimportant. This can result in them not valuing their interests and passions."
3. Boundaries are non-existent.
Parents who are truly at their wit's end often lack healthy boundaries. Because the truth is, these parents are so distracted and tired from other areas of their lives. So much so, that they begin to abandon their comfort because it requires too much energy to do so otherwise.
Understandably, this can also impact their children in the long run. Dr. Shefali explains, "Failing to set boundaries often leads to feeling overwhelmed and resentful. Children thrive on structure and boundaries, so your inability to set them can make them feel insecure."
4. You have been ignoring your own health issues.
Have you been to the doctor lately? When was the last time you had a self-care day? Do you eat healthy on a day-to-day basis? If the answer to all of these is no, then you're not taking good care of yourself.
Dr. Shefali warns, "Ignoring your physical health can lead to more serious health issues, which can prevent you from being fully present with your child. It also models poor health habits."
5. You're emotionally unavailable.
If you aren't taking care of yourself then how do you expect to take care of your children? The truth is, that not pouring into yourself takes away from your ability to pour into others.
And if you find yourself not having the mental capability to be emotionally available to your children? Then, it might be high time to put yourself first.
As Dr. Shefali says, "Being emotionally unavailable can create a disconnect with your child, leading to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Children need emotional support to feel secure."
6. You feel like you don't have enough time in the day for everything.
If you're not taking care of yourself it's probably because you feel like you don't have enough time. And listen, I don't blame you. As parents, you're required to take on many roles with little regard for your mental health or feelings.
However, not having a set schedule or having poor time management will only make things worse. Dr. Shefali explains, "Poor time management often results in chaotic and stressful environments. Children need predictability and routine to feel safe."
7. You can't handle the stress.
Do you find yourself snapping at the little stuff? Like, your child could spill a drink and you lose your absolute mind?
Not taking care of yourself often puts you on edge, leading to both anxious thoughts and overreactions. But why does this matter and how does this impact our child in the long run?
Dr. Shefali writes, "When you can't manage your stress, it can manifest as anxiety and impatience with your child. This teaches your child to react similarly to stress."
8. You can't seem to get enough quality sleep.
Finally, having difficulty sleeping or not getting enough sleep is detrimental to your health. Not only does it cause you to become less emotionally stable, but it can affect other areas of your life as well.
The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Association explains, "Sleep deficiency can interfere with work, school, driving, and social functioning."
But, that's not all. Dr. Shefali says, "Lack of sleep affects your mood, cognition, and overall functioning. Children are sensitive to these changes and can feel the impact of your diminished capacity."
All of this can lead to your child becoming an anxious and nervous mess. And they may begin to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you in order to not set you off.
As you can imagine, this doesn't make for the best environment for your child to thrive in.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.