How To Be A Better Mom And Wife Without Compromising Who You Are & What You Want
Balancing work, marriage and motherhood feels impossible but it's not.
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock While you do everything in your power to maintain a good work-life balance, taking care of all your responsibilities can feel impossible. It's easy to look around at all the other wives and moms who are making it work and wonder why them and not me? The truth is, you can be a better mom and wife, you're just going about it wrong.
What can you do? We asked experts for their best advice on how you can be everything to everyone all the time, including being a great wife to your husband and a great mom to your kids.
Here's how to be a better mom and wife without compromising who you are
1. Be great to yourself
Nurture yourself, take time for your passions, and find time to work towards your personal goals. Continuing to grow and thrive will help your family to grow and thrive as well.
Relationship coach Deborah Roth explained "Rest, relaxation, and sleep significantly benefit mental health by improving mood, reducing stress, enhancing cognitive function, boosting memory consolidation, and promoting emotional regulation. Inadequate sleep is often linked to an increased risk of depression and anxiety disorders. A study published in the Psychological Review on sleep deprivation highlights the negative consequences of insufficient sleep on cognitive performance, mood, and overall health."
2. Stay positive
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Make sure you say more positive things than negative. Negatives include corrections, complaints, nagging, and lecturing. Positives include telling them what you love about them by your words or by your actions.
A positive statement might be: "Thanks for being quiet while I was on the phone just now. I appreciated your thoughtfulness." Sprinkle your relationships with positive comments and positive things will develop in your relationships.
3. Meet frustration with love
When your child or partner is yelling, screaming, or acting out, surprise them. Instead of reacting back in frustration or anger, make a funny face or just gently and lovingly look at them and offer them a hug.
"Putting a pause between the event and the reaction gives you a chance to choose a more loving, empathetic response. Anger drives more anger, but assertively stating your frustration and asking for what you need can actually calm the situation down and create more connection between the two of you," advised marriage counselor Mary Kay Cocharo.
4. Get your family's opinion
Ask your kids and your partner, every so often, how they think you are doing as a parent and/or partner. Ask them the ways they would like you to improve and try to listen with open ears. Maybe that will inspire them to ask you the same question someday!
5. Share dreams at home
Dreams and stories can be cherished for their own sake in the daily life of a family. When your children or your partner wants to share their dreams, make room for that in your busy life.
Making daily space for dream sharing encourages creativity and helps both kids and parents by showing you things that need further action.
6. Play outdoors year-round
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Establishing a "green hour" for your kids will help them to grow and develop in healthier and playful ways. Taking a walk as a couple in your neighborhood or at a community park near home will give you time to talk, plan your week, and create greater intimacy in your relationship.
Educator Cyndera Quakenbush explained how "Getting outside gives you exercise, and much-needed fresh air to expand and nourish your lungs. It has been proven that beyond physical health, walking and getting outside can serve as a natural anti-depressant with no side effects — meaning it improves your emotional regulation and mood."
7. Travel at home
Many families can't afford to travel to remote destinations. However, being a tourist in our hometown or city is a playful and easy way to engage in your community.
Post a local map in the kids' playroom or wherever you spend more of your time as a family at home and paint, draw, or post suggestions on places to visit with your kids and as a couple. Put travel dates on your calendar and commit to new adventures.
Travel expands our worldview. Both your children and your relationship will benefit.
8. Plan weekly play dates for your entire family
The most common response I hear when I ask "How are you?" is "Busy!"
Posting playdates on your calendar intermingled throughout the week in short bursts or making a once-a-week commitment to both your kids and your relationship to play together shows a heart-based commitment to bringing more joy into your life as a family and as a couple.
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