If You've Survived These 14 Things, You Deserve To Congratulate Yourself
Give yourself credit for accomplishing life, even if nobody else throws you a party for it.
Curated Lifestyle | Unsplash It's rare for women to raise their hands and say, "Look at me! I did a good thing." This is a sad fact. Not that anyone should go around with a big head, but we should pat ourselves on the back more and be our cheerleaders. And this doesn't just go for women! Lots of people have been taught to be humble — which is a lovely virtue — but that doesn't mean you can't celebrate yourself for the hard work that often goes unnoticed.
Giving ourselves a little "Nice job!" or acknowledging when we have made a smart choice is crucial to developing self-love and staying positive.
Here are 14 things you deserve to congratulate yourself if you've survived
1. You stayed true to yourself
Don't want a kid, or want a kid? Want to get married or want to stay single? Travel frequently? Speak your mind? Do your own thing? If you're a person who owns who you are and makes no apologies for the things that work for you (and harm nobody else!), then you need to give yourself a pat on the back.
2. You graduated
It doesn't matter if you're graduating from medical school, or college; got your GED or finished an extension program, any "completion" of any program is one thing you should be proud of. You saw it through to the end. Give yourself some credit.
3. You followed through with divorce
Not that you should be proud of your marital mistakes, you should work to correct those for the next relationship. But if you leave a bad marriage, be proud. Divorce poses numerous challenges as supported by a study in the Journal of Marriage and Family, so following through with divorce takes courage and chutzpah, my friend.
4. You landed a great job opportunity
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The first job is a huge milestone. And if you landed a big job, that's even better. Two thumbs up are allowed for these achievements.
5. You still recognize your beauty
We all feel a little ugly from time to time, but it's important to recognize your beauty. Whether it's that inner glow or a feature you like about yourself, own it.
6. You're managing your money like a boss
If you manage your credit and keep your debt low, you need to give yourself a round of applause. Managing your money well is a life skill that will serve you well no matter how much bank you pull in.
7. You quit a bad habit
Did you quit smoking? Cut out sugar? Stop biting your nails? That's huge. We are such habitual creatures that breaking a bad habit is a big marker of pride, as shown in research from the American Psychological Association.
8. You became a parent
Have you become a mother recently? It's a rewarding but tough job. Give yourself a ton of credit each day because otherwise, you might snap from fatigue and mommy guilt.
9. You ended a toxic relationship
Did you cut out a damaged partner, friend, or family member? You go, girl! Here are two gold stars.
10. You came out
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Did you just come out of that closet? Good for you! Life is too short to pretend to be someone you aren't.
11. You're in recovery for an addiction
Are you in recovery? You need to credit yourself for making a big move to change your life. Amazing!
"It marked my transition between behaving like a child and acting like a grownup. There were lessons everywhere I looked, and I was finally in a place where I could learn them. The drugs I used to be desperate for seemed inconsequential as if the whole thing never happened. However, it was important for me to remember how far I once fell and what it took to pull myself out. It was a long, hard, agonizing process that I never wanted to repeat," explained Glenna Gill from her recovery experience.
12. You made the ultimate commitment
Did you say "I do" or get engaged? That's a big life milestone. Kudos, kudos!
13. You moved out of state
Moving away from everything you know and love takes guts of steel and loads of determination. Nice work!
14. You broke into a male-dominated field
Are you a woman breaking into a male-dominated field in the sciences, construction, sports, or any other male-dominated field? Hot dog! Good for you.
Therapist Janet Whitney recommended making a habit of being your own cheerleader, "Recognize the positive qualities you see in yourself. Come up with a list you can say out loud or in your mind. Here is a partial list to choose from: I am strong, I am healthy, I am determined, I am intelligent, I am funny, I am resilient, I am loyal, I am attractive, I am adaptable, I am light-hearted, I am entertaining, I am thoughtful, I am abundant, I am energetic, and so on.
"Practice saying any of these things about yourself whenever the opportunity arises: while walking, while driving while taking a shower, or even with a therapist or good friend. It is fun to become your own cheerleader and as your self-talk improves, so will your life experiences and relationships improve. This could be a good step in healing our world!"
Laura Lifshitz writes about divorce, relationships, parenting, and marriage for YourTango, The New York Times, Women’s Health, Working Mother, and Pop Sugar.