7 Rare Qualities That Make A Man Stand Out In A Crowd
Every woman has her own taste, but these traits certainly set a guy apart from the rest.
pixelfit | Canva My neighbors and I were having tea in my apartment and chatting about who-knows-what. All of a sudden, one of my neighbors says, "Look! It’s that guy I’ve been crushing on! Look at him!"
We all snap our heads to the window and see a generally attractive guy walking a well-groomed, well-dressed dog blissfully unaware of us looking at him.
I personally thought the dude was nothing too hot, but hey, that just proves my point. One girl’s "meh" is another girl’s "YOWZA!"
It then dawned on me that most guys don’t know what makes women turn their heads. Here are the traits that I personally noticed attract most women and set a guy apart from the rest.
Here are 7 rare qualities that make a man stand out in a crowd:
1. Looks
So, I’m going to point out that there are not many things that are going to be as useful in dating as good looks. Anyone who says that looks don’t matter is lying through their teeth. They absolutely matter.
Here’s the thing: good looks can vary from girl to girl.
Think about the dude walking the dog. He was muscular and beefy, and that got my friend going. Me? I’m not a "muscle man" type of guy. I either like my men to be big handsome men, or I like them to be string beans.
The cool thing about the modern time is that you can be good-looking at any age, at any size. It’s all about how you care for yourself. A man who is well-cared for will always win out over a guy who doesn’t look like he maintains himself.
Point in case: If you take a very hot guy, let him not bathe for two weeks, and have him lose a couple of teeth to drug use, you’re stuck with a guy women will avoid.
Also, point in case: If you take a weaselly-looking dude with an awkward body type, dress him up well, get him some Rogaine, get his teeth done nice, and give him a good cologne, women will be much more likely to talk to him.
Cologne, toothbrushes, hair growth formulas … Those are investments in your dating life, fellas.
2. Ethics
Have you ever met a person who wouldn't stop talking about how great of a person they were? Yeah, this is not it. Saying you’re a great person and saying what you would do doesn’t impress. It’s actually a red flag for many seasoned daters.
No, women take notice of what men do when it is not convenient or beneficial for them to do the right thing. Women notice when men do something even when sleeping together isn't on the table.
There are a lot of very handsome men I will never set up with female friends because they are horrible to their exes. Women talk, and most men don’t realize how much women talk about this.
If a guy starts to have Nice Guy vibes, women can and will bail. If women find out that a guy is actually safe and supportive, his chances of getting a date tend to go through the roof — provided he lets his intentions be known from the start.
3. Career passion
Have you ever met someone who was truly, truly passionate about what they do for a living? I have. In fact, I see it a lot because I hang out with a lot of musicians, writers, and other passionate folks in the creative world.
Let me tell you something about these fellas. Without fail, a man who shows serious passion about his job — eyes lighting up and everything — is a man who will have women into him.
In fact, passionate men will usually have women fighting over them.
Why? Because a man who shows that much passion for living his life is attractive. It shows joie de vivre. It shows that he’s living his best life and that he will pursue what he loves, including women.
This is precisely why the broke DJ or the broke graphic artist gets more attention than the guy in tech. Most people I’ve met in tech went there because of the money, not because of their enjoyment of that field. Women pick up on that vibe, dudes.
4. Emotional maturity
There’s no beating around the bush here. I fully expect to have a guy "correct" me about this fact, but it’s still a fact. If you feel personally attacked, that is a sign you should work hard to fix things.
A large portion of men have serious problems with their emotional maturity. They can’t regulate their emotions, they can’t do any form of introspection, and many can’t even really communicate well with their dates.
Emotional maturity isn’t just about taking no for an answer and being able to regulate emotions. It’s about not being manipulative and not resorting to abuse to get your way. It’s about being a straight shooter, so to speak.
5. Communication
Let me tell you a story about a moment at Whole Foods: I was around 20 years old and was waiting in line to check out. I saw an older guy, maybe 50, in a business suit.
For reference, I was a goth model at the time and was wearing my goth garb. The girl at the checkout line was around my age. A guy in a business suit is not my type. Like, at all. Keep this in mind.
He was talking to the girl at the checkout line, and she was roaring with laughter. I leaned in and I heard his jokes. It was literally banger after banger. Next thing you know, I was laughing too. He quietly paid, smiled, shook my hand, and left. I had to fight every instinct in my mind not to run after him and ask him if we could just hang out. That dude was pure charisma.
The checkout girl goes, "Oh my god, he was so funny! I really wish I could have hung out with him. He was amazing."
I agreed. We spent the rest of the checkout process talking about how cool he was. I still remember what a wild impression that man left on me, and I’m 35 now.
A person with the gift of gab will always find himself surrounded by women. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that a person with good social skills will always have that happen.
6. Stability
This is going to be a point that may be taken out of context or may just hurt a lot of men to hear, but it’s one I’m going to make. Times are hard. Things are uncertain.
A man who acts as a rock of stability, comfort, and strength is a sexy man. Emotional stability, financial stability, and familial stability matter so much these days — and yet, they are increasingly rare in a man. A trifecta of stability is basically the gold standard. This is a man who can (and does) hold a job down, cleans up after himself, and also remains emotionally stable during tough times.
He’s confident, but he’s not soulless. He’s vulnerable, but he’s not a man-child. When he makes a decision, he doesn’t get wishy-washy. He stands beside it.
He says what he means, means what he says, and does what he says he will do. He doesn’t flip out when things don’t go his way, nor does he feel the need to bully others. He has boundaries that he maintains and will leave a woman who treats him badly.
That is a stable, attractive man. And trust me, even when women do not end up dating a man like that, they do respect him.
7. Authenticity
Did you ever wonder why punk rockers and other rebellious types tend to get girls who look like their polar opposites alongside people in their scene? A lot of it deals with their authenticity.
Bad boys are wild and dress wild because they enjoy being that person. They do that for them because screw what anyone else thinks. It takes a lot of confidence to be yourself in this world.
Most men are pretty timid when it comes to showing who they are. I’ve seen men backpedal so, so fast when women say they don’t like something they praised. Guys, do you think that’s attractive? It ain’t.
If you want women to be into you, they have to respect you as you are. That means you don’t lie about who you are or what you want. After all, you don’t like fake women. Why would you think they like fake men?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.