Men Who Are Considered Universally Good Guys Have These 8 Rare Qualities
If a man has these traits, he's likely a very good guy.
Clarisse Meyer | Unsplash Let's talk about making pro/con lists when you're contemplating breaking up with a guy. I've done that. I've also made lists of my must-haves — things I know I unequivocally need any universally good guy I date to have (FYI: That list is not long, and it contains things like "a kind heart"). The basic, core things.
But it can't hurt to think a little bigger. That's not to say you need to have a laundry list of requests so long it's impossible to find someone who meets all criteria. Nor is that to say that you should be limiting yourself to one specific "type" of guy. I'm just saying that listing off all of the things you really, truly want in a guy is not a bad idea, and can help you recognize a great guy for you when you've found one.
Men who are considered universally good guys have these rare qualities:
1. He's kind to everyone
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Not just you on your best day but you on your worst. The same goes for the waiter who brought the wrong appetizer, his coworkers, his family (and yours), and pretty much everyone. Someone who is genuinely kind spreads kindness wherever he goes.
2. He's genuinely optimistic about life
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A happy person is not only a healthy person but also someone who is optimistic and fulfilled. Who wouldn't love life with someone like that?
Genuine happiness is considered a positive quality, as it is strongly linked to improved mental and physical health, strong social connections, and a sense of fulfillment in life. A study published in Perspective on Psychological Science showed that factors like satisfying work, positive relationships with family and friends, and a sense of purpose are key contributors to genuine happiness in men.
3. He loves you for you
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He loves the real you. Not just the way you look or the things you do for him or the fact that you are conveniently 4 inches shorter, also loves staying in on Friday nights, and gets along with his family.
He must love the unique things about you, like how you're always 30 minutes late to everything, how you put exactly three lemons in all your drinks, the long-winded way you tell a story, or how you always need the toilet paper roll so that the top flap faces down.
4. You can be yourself around him
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No matter how much you might be into someone, it's never going to be real until you can let down your guard around him. Feeling comfortable being yourself around someone is primarily tied to concepts like psychological safety, trust, shared values, and a sense of acceptance.
A 2023 study found that when you feel confident that someone will not judge you and will accept your authentic self, you can express yourself freely without fear of rejection.
5. He's attractive, physically and emotionally
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Do you know that thing that always turns your head when a hot guy walks by? Maybe you're a sucker for pretty blue eyes, broad shoulders, or chiseled arms?
Well, physical appeal is a total package that mercifully factors in more than just abs and height — your guy doesn't need any of those things as long as he's the one you want to be with.
6. He spends like you
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A guy who's onboard to make your fantasy tour-de-France vacation a reality? Fantastic. A guy who then complains about every dollar you want to spend on said trip? No bien.
If springing for the good rosé and staying in a schmancy hotel is your idea of fun, you need a guy who gets it. Money is the root of a lot of relationship issues, so being on the same page about spending is crucial.
7. He's willing to work through your issues
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Whether it's yelling instead of talking, being passive-aggressive when you're upset, or some sort of family/work issue you're taking out on him.
He knows your patterns and not only talks to you about them kindly but offers support when and where you need it. Someone who can see you to your very core, accepts your flaws, and only wants to help you be a better person? That's love.
8. He puts you first
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When it comes down to it, you are the No. 1 most important person in his life, and there are no questions about that. This is generally considered a positive sign of commitment, respect, and healthy prioritizing, indicating a partner who values your needs and well-being.
Still, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found it crucial to maintain a balance where both partners feel supported and valued. Constantly prioritizing one person over the other can lead to resentment and imbalance.
If his friends want to do a guy's weekend in Vegas, he says no because he's got a good thing going with you, doesn't want to get into trouble, and knows it will mean missing that concert you want to go to.
And if his mom hates the wallpaper you chose for your first apartment together, you'll never find out, because he tells her if you're happy, he's happy, and that's the end of it.
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