The Green Flag Behavior That Guarantees A Man Is Maturing In A Relationship, According To A Personal Growth Coach
More men should be willing to exhibit this behavior in their relationships.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock More often than not, we hear about red flags in men that warn women to keep their distance. But Kevin Pasco, a content creator and personal growth coach, recently highlighted a bright green flag that indicates a man is ready for a compassionate and long-lasting partnership.
He shared the green flag behavior that guarantees a man is maturing in a relationship.
"There is a very specific green flag in a man that shows he's maturing in a relationship," Pasco began in his TikTok. "That's when he's able to handle his partner's emotions without immediately becoming defensive."
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Pasco explained that it's a good sign when a man can hold the emotions of his partner without feeling uncomfortable or becoming defensive. "He's just able to sit with it and take in the raw motion from his partner," he explained.
Empathy and emotional intelligence are necessary for a healthy relationship.
Empathy, or the ability to understand and share your partner's feelings, is vital, as is having accountability and emotional intelligence. These traits are especially valuable when confronted with tension or conflict.
Unfortunately, many men lack emotional intelligence. In our society, young boys are often raised to be assertive, stoic, decisive, and sometimes aggressive. Those traits follow them into adulthood, making it difficult for them to exhibit softer, more emotional behaviors once they're in a relationship.
"We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of — deep intimacy, mutual kindness, real commitment, soulful caring — simply because of empathy, our innate ability to share emotional experience," therapist Jeanne Segal told HelpGuide.org. "But to reach the height of romance we need all the skills of a high [emotional intelligence]: sharp emotional awareness to avoid mistaking infatuation or lust for lasting love; acceptance to experience emotions that could harm a relationship if left to fester; and a vigilant active awareness to appraise us of what’s working and what isn’t."
Pasco admitted that he used to get defensive during moments of conflict, but now exhibits the green flag.
"[I] used to be defensive and always needed to defend myself in the argument to try and win it, and show her why I'm not who I'm afraid she thinks I am," he shared. "But there comes a point when you realize, as a man, her emotions are not the end-all be-all definition of who I am."
He pointed out that the emotions of his partner are just that — emotions. "If I'm able to take them in and handle them and hold her with the emotion and help her work through it, I am definitely being more masculine," he said. "I'm being more in my power."
For any man who always needs to win an argument when their partner gets emotional, Pasco advised taking a step back. "Remind yourself that you, as a man in your masculine, have the ability — and actually you have the duty — to support your beautiful woman through the emotions that she has."
There's no greener of a flag than knowing that a man can handle your emotions without making you feel guilty for sharing them. It means that you can rely on your significant other, no matter what, and that's truly the key to a loving and stable relationship.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.