People Who Make Incredible First Impressions Display These 9 Traits, According To Psychology
Making an incredible first impression comes to down to little things that anyone can learn.
NicolasMcComber | Canva Did you know it only takes a tenth of a second to make a first impression? These are the initial opinions people form when they meet another person. They are often based on immediate observations of how others look, act, say, and generally behave.
It isn't always possible to tell if you've made a good first impression on others. However, these interactions are a building block for relationships and play a major part in setting the tone for future interactions.
People who make incredible first impressions display these traits:
1. Show up on time
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People who show up on time, even a bit early, show that they value your time as much as they value their own, which is an immediate sign someone understands basic courtesy, and self-respect — and has good time management skills, to boot.
2. Offer to help out
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Over at someone's house for a dinner party? Offer to put together cheese platters and/or clear the table. Meeting them at a BYOB restaurant? Bring along that great bottle of Chambourcin you picked up from a local winery just the other weekend. Is their little sis applying to post-college jobs for the first time? Ask if she'd like you to take a look at her resume, or help her with cover letters. They'll love the fact that you're making an effort.
Offering to help someone, even in a small way, can significantly contribute to a positive first impression. A 2023 study found that it demonstrates prosocial behavior, indicating warmth, kindness, and genuine concern for the other person, which are highly valued traits in social interactions. However, offering help should be genuine and not appear forced or self-serving, as this can undermine the positive impact.
3. Return the invitation
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They're always always inviting you over for dinner. Not only that, but they also send you home with five Tupperware full of delicious leftovers. We suggest you repay the favor and cook (or buy) them a gourmet meal of your own.
Not only will this show them how grateful you are for their generosity, but it will also allow them to see that you're fully capable of hosting, too.
4. Be thoughtful
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Make the effort to remember and honor someone's birthdays, successes, and other milestones with thoughtful gestures or gifts. While a bottle of wine is a cool gift if his parents are really into tastings (pair it with a nice wine journal for bonus points!), in any other situation, it's a sign that you're just not trying. Pay attention to their interests and shop accordingly.
Being thoughtful when meeting someone new significantly contributes to a positive first impression by demonstrating genuine interest, active listening, and a caring attitude. A 2023 study found that thoughtfulness is often expressed through non-verbal cues like maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and leaning in to listen, which convey attentiveness and engagement.
5. Ask thoughtful questions
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The tip above will be way easier to execute if you're already engaging someone in convos about their hobbies and interests. Is their big sis into cruises and country music? Sit through a slideshow of her vacation pics, or go line dancing with her when she extends the invite.
Is their dad a runner? Travel up to Boston to cheer him on when he runs the annual marathon. If you show any interest in them, they'll be more willing to learn more about you, even if your hobbies consist of hoop dancing.
6. Control yourself
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Give someone some time to warm up to yourself before letting your freak flag fly. Controlling yourself, mainly through effective self-regulation and emotional management, is crucial for making a positive first impression.
This demonstrates composure, trustworthiness, and social competence, allowing you to adapt your behavior and read social cues effectively to fit the situation. 2020 research on impression management in psychology highlights the deliberate effort to control how you present yourself to others, and self-regulation is a key component of this process.
7. Accept advice
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It can be easy to get defensive when someone gives unsolicited advice, but try to understand where they're coming from. Chances are they're doing it because they care, because they may have more life experience behind them, and because they truly want to help.
Someone's "meddling" does not necessarily mean that they're passing judgment on you. (Or at least that's what you should tell yourself.) Accepting advice from someone, especially when done genuinely and respectfully, can significantly contribute to a positive first impression by demonstrating openness, humility, and a willingness to learn.
This makes the other person feel valued and respected for their expertise. A 2011 study explained that while accepting advice can be beneficial, constantly asking for input without providing your perspective can make you appear overly dependent or lacking in confidence.
8. Don't criticize
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It can be tempting to take part in playful teasing but tread lightly. You could be crossing a major line.
When conversing with someone's parents, especially, try to remind yourself that you're talking to people who raised that person for the past thirty years. If they sense that you are a threat to their baby, they'll cut you.
9. Leave politics and religion out of it
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If someone has religious or political beliefs that are wildly divergent from your own, just let it go. If they want to engage you in a discussion don't hide your opinions, but don't try to convince them they're wrong. A smile and a "we'll have to agree to disagree on this one" will do just fine.
Avoiding critical behavior and instead presenting a positive, accepting attitude is a key factor in making a good first impression. This is primarily because it signals warmth, trustworthiness, and a desire to connect, which are generally perceived as desirable traits in initial encounters. Early research showed that positive body language, facial expressions, and a friendly tone of voice can quickly convey a positive impression, even before words are spoken.
Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and editor. She's been featured in Playgirl, Time Out New York, American Curves, New York Press, Nerve, and other publications.