If You Want To Make A Good Impression, Say Goodbye To These 9 Social Etiquette Blind Spots
There are a few very specific behaviors to avoid.
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock Psychologists from Princeton University discovered that first impressions are made in one-tenth of a second, which gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "snap judgment."
Making a good impression has a lot to do with what you say, but it also has to do with nonverbal communication and body language, too. Sometimes, we rub people the wrong way in an initial meeting, without even knowing that we've done something wrong.
If you want to make a good impression, say goodbye to these 9 social etiquette blind spots
1. Not asking questions
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According to the Emily Post Institute, there are three main principles of etiquette: Consideration, honesty, and respect.
When we first meet someone new, we exchange basic information with them, like what we do for work, where we live, and what our hobbies are. It might be tempting to take up space in the conversation by blabbing about yourself, but talking too much and listening too little can make you seem self-centered.
In order to make a solid impression, remember to ask people questions about themselves and really listen when they give you their answers. Make sure your questions don't veer into the territory of topics that are too personal or private. Stick to simple inquiries. Even just asking someone how their day is going will give you a major boost as far as making a good impression goes.
2. Close-talking
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Another hard and fast rule of social etiquette is respecting people's physical boundaries.
This means you should only touch people when they give active consent, and it also means you should give people space when you're having a conversation with them. If you're talking to someone and they take a step backwards or lean away, it probably means that you're talking too closely for their comfort.
Keeping a good amount of distance between yourself and the person you're talking to is an easy way to ensure that you're making a good impression on them.
3. Keeping your arms crossed
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According to research done by psychology professor Albert Mehrabian, communication can be broken down into three essential parts. The Mehrabian Communication Model holds that body language accounts for 55% of communication, tone of voice for 38%, and 7% is the actual words being spoken.
This theory suggests that how we hold ourselves has a huge impact on the way people see us.
Hunching your shoulders and crossing your arms over your chest sends a message that you're uncomfortable and don't want to be bothered. This posture is fine if you're standing alone in a crowded room, but if you're in the middle of a conversation, it gives off the impression that you'd rather be doing anything else but talking to someone.
In order to make a good impression, let your arms hang loosely at your sides. Keep your posture attentive yet relaxed. This way, you let the person you're speaking to know that they have your undivided attention.
4. Being chronically late
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While people's opinions on lateness depend on what generation they belong to, being chronically late shows a general disregard for someone's time. Whether you have a boss who always starts meetings and ends meetings late or a friend who never shows up on time to dinner, being late affects people's opinions of you.
Lateness can also impact workflow and productivity levels, as a study from Harvard Business School discovered. Researchers spent four years analyzing the timecards of more than 100,000 workers from over 500 U.S. grocery stores, and found that lateness has a widespread ripple effect on how well organizations operate.
The study found that employees who showed up late came to work an average of 21 minutes after their start time. Lateness led to a decline in daily sales: a 1% increase in lateness corresponded to 1% lower sales per transaction.
Being on time is an essential part of making a good impression on both a personal and professional level.
5. Playing on your phone
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Being glued to our phones has become fairly normalized behavior, despite the risks of having too much screen time. Yet there are certain times when taking our phones out is majorly inconsiderate.
Scrolling through your phone is fine if you're on your own. If you do it when you're with other people, it's a clear indication that you'd rather not be bothered. Keep your phone in your pocket during conversations to make sure you're making a good impression.
6. Oversharing
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Saying too little in a conversation can be seen as rude, yet so can saying too much. Oversharing personal information is a surefire way to make people feel uncomfortable, which doesn't say much for making a good impression.
Keep yourself in check so as to not cross any unspoken boundaries. Avoid conversation topics that get too deep too quickly and, above all, be polite.
7. Conversation cornering
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We've all been in awkward situations at parties, but one type of behavior makes an especially poor impression: Cornering someone in a conversation and not letting them leave.
Trapping people in a conversation that goes on for too long doesn't frame you in the best light. It means that you're actively ignoring the cues that they want to move on, like shifting their gaze and speaking less.
It's good to be passionate when we talk to people, but being so passionate that we misread their body language makes us seem socially awkward, which isn't a great impression to make.
8. Forgetting people's names
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A tried and true method of making a good impression starts with one simple question: What's your name?
Make it a point to get to know someone on a personal level by asking their name and using it in conversation. When you remember a person's name, you make them feel valued, which is an essential part of making lasting connections.
9. Talking over people
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Interrupting people is a social faux-pas, especially in a professional setting. Talking over people during meetings is a way to make an impression, just not a good one.
According to Harvard Business Review, 98% of employees report experiencing rude behavior in the workplace. Researchers found that incivility at work has long-lasting effects on morale and productivity.
Among workers who have been treated poorly, 48% reported taking part in some form of quiet quitting, or decreasing their efforts on purpose, 66% said their performance declined, and 78% said that their commitment to the company decreased.
It might seem like making a good impression requires following complex rules, but really, it's fairly simple. People respond to being treated with respect and care, which they'll return in kind.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.