Psychology Says People Who Are Good At Life Have 9 Core Skills That Others Lack
Basic skills of people who are highly competent when it comes to the Game of Life.
Crystal Sing | Canva Any useful life skill can be considered a life skill. For most people, these skills include tying shoelaces, swimming, driving a car, and using a computer. However, everyone will potentially have a different list of the most essential skills and those they deem unnecessary.
From taking care of yourself to navigating all aspects of your life, some life skills are just for basic survival, while others are necessary to keep yourself sane. Of course, building all of these core life skills takes time. If you need help, don't be shy to get support to walk you through the steps and guide you on your journey to living a happier and more fulfilling life. I have learned much that may help you.
People who are good at life have core skills that others lack:
1. The acceptance that life's not always sunny
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We live in an age completely deluded by what it means to feel "normal." We strive for this magical concept of "happiness" and prize it above all else.
In our striving, we inadvertently make ourselves miserable. It’s okay to feel off. Because in the acceptance of it, we’ll be quickly lifted anyway.
2. The knowledge that saying 'no' is a super-power
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One of the common traits I see among those who seem to succeed at higher levels and rarely give up is this: They are okay with the word no.
They don’t take a 'no' personally. What do I mean by a 'no' here? Any form of rejection, a failed experiment, or loss can be seen as a no.
People who go far know that a no is just data received on the journey to success. People who take no's seriously are more susceptible to quitting.
The ability to not take 'no' personally is primarily tied to healthy self-esteem, firm personal boundaries, and the cognitive skill of separating one's self-worth from external feedback.
A 2016 study found that people with high self-esteem tend to see criticism as constructive feedback rather than a personal attack. Firm personal boundaries help individuals maintain a sense of self even when facing rejection.
3. The ability to become your own mentor
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I’ve allowed people to pepper me with advice over the years and pull me from one direction to the next. Yes, learning from others who’ve made mistakes is helpful, but after a point, you need to follow your own felt instinct.
Be careful here because you want to follow what you know is true, not a thought that emanates from a deluded, jaded, and/or selfish part of you. You’ll know it’s the right way when it feels right.
4. The grit to stick with a plan
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Stop thinking there is a set life path — it will only depress you. All you need to do is find something that intrigues you enough to stick with it for a decent length of time.
Expect it to stink frequently. You’ll keep going because you know it can’t always be sunshine and unicorns. It’s the consistency and willingness to find enjoyment in the monotony of it that gives you an incredible edge. It’s here you will find your path.
2012 research supports the idea that people strongly desire consistency in their behaviors and decisions, making them more likely to stick with something once they've committed. This principle is often called commitment and consistency in Cialdini's influence theory. It means that once you decide or take a stand, you feel pressure to behave in a way that aligns with that initial choice, even if circumstances change slightly.
5. The courage to mimic winners
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If you’re looking for a definition of happiness, this is it: take on the habits of winners. What are they for you?
You know that certain things make you feel worse overall. Life can be super simple in this way.
Engage in bad habits and feel bad. Engage in winner habits every day and feel like a winner. When you feel like a winner, you will do better. It’s that simple.
6. The creativity to stimulate your brain
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The secret to success lies in understanding the gentle beauty of momentum. But make sure it’s taking you in the right direction.
You’ll know it’s right because it feels right in your gut. We get depressed for one reason: our body tells us we’re building momentum in the wrong thing. Don’t slip. Get moving with what is good for you.
Engaging in creative activities can make you more creative. It stimulates the brain's neural pathways associated with divergent thinking, imagination, and problem-solving, training your mind to generate new ideas and approaches more readily. A 2017 review published in Computers in Human Behavior supports this, showing that consistent creative practices can improve one's creative thinking abilities over time.
7. The belief that you don't need fixiing
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Society has programmed us to think we need to work on ourselves to become better people. This is nonsense.
Beneath all your self-criticism, you are already whole, happy, and real. It’s not on you to be better — only in skill and taking on new experiences. In the absence of self-berating thoughts, you are strong and you are well.
8. The discipline not to over-analyze
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I’ve learned that stress and feelings of anxiety are directly related to how much I try and interfere with my thinking. It’s like scratching an itch.
It’s tempting to overanalyze when we don’t feel safe. But the real trick is to leave it alone. Return to what you were doing instead.
Actively trying to suppress or control your thoughts can paradoxically lead to increased anxiety, as the act of trying to push a thought away often brings it more prominently into your awareness, causing further rumination and distress.
This phenomenon is usually referred to as the thought suppression rebound effect. 2022 research demonstrated that the more you try to avoid thinking about something, the more likely you are to think about it.
9. The levity to choose happiness
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It needn’t depend on the circumstances that you enjoy yourself. It needn’t be that the sun should be out for you to feel good. You bring the enjoyment.
You choose happiness. It’s internally driven. And when you choose to take things with a light-heartedness, things will open up for you. Your mind clears.
You see things others miss. People respond better to you. Opportunities present themselves when you’re light.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.