How To Live A Life That’s Aligned With Your True Self, According To 86 Experts
Are you being authentic to your true self?
suravid / ShutterstockDiscovering how to be your true self — your authentic self — is a journey that everyone must take in order to find happiness in life.
Authenticity can be more complicated than it should be, however — so how can you be true to yourself and find your purpose? After all, if we could all just live our truth without struggling, no one would ever be unhappy, would they?
Learning to love yourself and be true to your hopes and dreams is something many people struggle with, but truly authentic living is a process that, thankfully, everyone can undertake.
The path to authentic living starts with a choice. And if you’re ready to make that choice and embrace your truth, then luckily for you, we’ve gathered advice from 86 experts in love and relationships to guide you on your way.
Here are 86 tips from experts on how to embrace authentic living by being your true self:
1. Determine what being true to you means
"In order to live a life that is aligned with your true self one has the duty to put in the effort to recognize what being true to yourself means. We do not find the true self in others, for most people this is the fear that hinders the process of self-actualization."
- Hayley Rayner is an LPC-s who works with couples.
2. Do what you say you're going to do
"Congruency and consistency are key. Do your best every day to be 100 percent certain your words align with your actions. When we don't do what we say we're going to do — for ourselves and others — we derail our credibility with both, resulting in lost confidence and missed connections."
- Erika Isler is a life, career, and family coach.
3. Your true self is already there inside of you
"Alignment to your true self is already in place. Your interface with your consciousness of this truth is the active part you play in embodying your truth. Your path is unique to you, there are no books with shortcuts. There are many great tools and guides that can help you get started or unstuck along the way. Sit still and ask yourself where to begin and trust the answer."
- Alexsys Thompson is an executive and leadership coach.
4. Keep focused on your true needs
"Often we are not in touch with our 'true self' because we spend a lot of our time focusing on others; what they think of us, how they perceive us, whether they like us or not.
The best advice I was given was to 'Stay in my own business.' What does this mean in the day-to-day world? It means living in a space of speaking my truth no matter what I think others with think, say or do. It means less stress and tension in my life and it finally had me connect with what I really wanted each and every moment of the day."
- Karen Cherrett is a relationship and life coach.
5. Re-claim the trauma that's keeping you from being authentic
"To live a more authentic life, a strategy that is often overlooked is to re-claim something about yourself that you gave up in order to survive your childhood or a life event. This brilliant strategy is often still being played out in your life and holding you back. Thank that part of you, and implement new ways of showing up that are more in alignment with your true self. Growth is at the edge of your comfort zone!"
- Susie Kamen is a psychotherapist who works with couples.
6. Don't forget to love yourself
"Falling in love with yourself is a prerequisite to living an authentic and happy life. To get started, write down a list of your core values and goals. Reading it daily will help you with your goal of staying on track and avoiding the chaos and clutter."
- Julie Spira is an author, advice columnist, and relationship coach.
7. "Me-time" will help you connect with yourself
"Set aside some quiet time, just for you, every week. Focus on your dreams and goals, with gratitude for what you have and clarity about what you want. When faced with a choice,
always base your decision on what you truly want.
- Dr. Erica Goodstone is a psychotherapist, marriage counselor, and life therapist.
8. Pay attention to what your body and heart are already telling you
"People often know when they are doing something that doesn't quite align with who they are as a person. There is some form of physical constriction or sensation that was not there before. When you begin to pay closer attention to your body and recognize that you are following your heart rather than your mind (the external voices), you will likely know when you are acting in an authentic manner.
Basically, if it doesn't feel good, listen to yourself and don't do it."
- Dr. Adam Benson is a clinical psychologist who specializes in family counseling.
9. Your home is already inside of you
"Come home to your heart, to that inner illumination, further than knowing. Past doubt, beyond confusion, deeper than sensation, to the light between the beats, there you will find you. Now, let’s begin."
- Barbara "Blaze" Lazarony is a certified life coach and CEO.
10. Embrace everything about who you are
"You must be very much at home in your own skin, with who you are at your core. Once you get there, you will no longer try to be someone others want you to be. It is a journey getting there, but nothing is better than just being you, and loving who you are."
- Janelle Anderson is a professional certified coach who works to empower women.
11. Stop putting your dreams off
"Don’t put off your dreams waiting for a time when your body is different. You are as beautiful as you need to be right now."
- Lisa Newman is an eating psychology and health coach.
12. Connect to what matters to you
"The secret to living a fulfilling life is to live authentically. Before you can do that, you have to spend time getting to know yourself, looking into your heart and connecting to what matters. This means delving into your values, needs, talents, passions, and purpose. Recognize when you feel in alignment and honor yourself by consciously creating your life."
- Lisa Petsinis is a life coach who focuses on stress management.
13. Your emotions are part of your authentic self
"A person's true self is defined by the emotions that drive what they do. An authentic self is driven by natural reason and authentic emotion. Learned emotions like fear, guilt, and shame drive a life lived for others."
- Dr. Stephen Van Schoyck is a clinical psychologist and author.
14. Saying no is part of being true to yourself
"Learn to say no to things that do not serve you or add value to your life. Too often we say yes to things that make us uncomfortable or cause us pain. It's almost as if we are punishing ourselves because of the quilt and fear we hold onto. Say no and honor who you really are."
- Carolyn Owens is a leadership coach and the founder of Infinity Coaching.
15. Choose faith over fear
"Aligning with your true self is a sacred journey. Release your past with compassion and grace. Receive your present with acceptance and joy. Moving forward, choose in favor of your passions and values while choosing faith over fear!"
- Sandy Tomey is a professional relationship coach and energy healer.
16. Live in the excitement of what's to come
"How to live your best life that's authentically aligned is to always, always remember the 'why?'
Why are you so passionate about aligning with the universe?
Reflect on your answer and ground that intention deeply rooted in Mother Earth, pause, and then let it go. Mother/Father/God/universe will take care of the rest, and know without a doubt the answer will come. Watch and listen to the whispers, and signs, and be curious.
Live in the excitement of what will come; always remember, you're why the universe will take care of the 'how!'"
- Ramie Haas is a hypnotherapist and Reiki practitioner.
17. Find out what living a life of purpose and meaning is for you
"Are you wondering how to live a life of purpose and meaning?
Take these four steps:
- Dream big
- Set goals
- Break your goals down into actionable steps
- Take action."
- Tamara Mason is a counselor and therapist.
18. Take charge of your inner voice
"Living a life aligned with your true self asserts your authentic power. See it as a process of becoming for listening and expressing your true voice. That will keep you motivated, successful, and in professional and personal relationships that bring meaning and pleasure."
- Ruth Schimel is a career and life management consultant.
19. Fear doesn't mean you should quit
"Fear is normal, but courage gets the final say. It is in the deep lines and flaws where the story of my life has been written. I would never want to erase that."
- Amy Debrucque is an author and inspirational writer.
20. Authentic living may be hard at first, but you can't quit
"I think it’s a misconception that living aligned with your true self is always going to be blissful and pleasant. Following your true calling often means overcoming self-doubt and diving headfirst into difficulties. Therefore, the difference is not one of the emotions, but one of conviction. You will still experience pain and sadness when in alignment, but you will know deep down that your energy and suffering means something, for yourself and for the world."
- Jeffrey Siegel is a holistic wellness coach focusing on weight management.
21. It's OK to be selfish once in a while
"One way to know what's most important to living aligned with your true self is to set selfish goals. It's far too easy to set goals that are work, family, or otherwise outwardly focused. Setting a selfish goal means finding something big or small that resonates with you, that makes you happy, that puts you on a path toward what you really want in your life."
- Christie Mawer is a confidence coach and author.
22. Listen to your inner voice for decision making
"Being true to oneself is a highly propagated phrase; however, truly allowing our authentic souls to guide us in decision-making is anything but cliché. The older I get, the more I realize that the best thing I can do for myself is to say 'no' more often — a lot more often. ... And while it is still definitely not easy, it is getting easier, and it’s the single best thing I have done for myself and my personal happiness. I used to believe that such behavior would be considered selfish, but what I have found is, it's actually the opposite.
By saying no to things I do not want to do, I have more time to commit to things I enjoy. And maybe even more importantly, the time spent with people, and the commitments made out of love and passion and joy always end in better experiences for everyone — and a much better overall version of 'you' to be able to give to the world and to your loved ones!"
- Kena Hollingsworth is an attorney who works for couples with marital issues.
23. Forget what other people's opinions of you are
"In order to live a life that's aligned with your true self, you have to stop thinking about how other people are seeing what you're doing.
Until you let go of 'the gallery' of people you imagine are watching you, you will never live your true self. You'll be making decisions based on how you believe other people will react. Who these other people are is different for everyone. For some people, their parents are the strongest voices in their heads. For others, it's their peer group(s).
When you are capable of making decisions in the here and now based on your feelings, what feels good to you, what lights up your life and brings you the most joy, then you are aligned with your truest self."
- Dr. Sharon Cohen is a relationship and love consultant.
24. Listen to what your feelings are telling you
"Pay attention to your feelings. If something doesn't feel right to you, ask yourself, 'What's in the highest good for me and all?' The correct answer may not always feel 'good,' but it will feel 'right' and peaceful inside."
- Valerie Greene is a relationship coach and mentor.
25. Your actions must line up with your core beliefs
"Living our lives to the fullest is when we narrow the gap between what we do, and who we are (or who we want to be). The next time you need to make a split-second decision on how to behave, interact, or invest your time money, or emotional resources, ask yourself the following:
'If I were being live-streamed at this very moment, what would my audience think about me? More importantly, is what I will do, say or decide now something which will push my self-esteem lever higher, or will it create regret, frustration, or pain?'
I have found that when asking myself the three simple, powerful words: 'And then what?' before making my move, keeping in mind the results which will either strengthen or diminish my core values, I have created a successful framework for a life filled with satisfying relationships, clarity, and meaning."
- Atara Malach is a psychotherapist and professional coach.
26. Don't ignore the pain that's gotten you to this point
"To live a life aligned with your true self, it's important that instead of ignoring the pain — you take a look at where it's coming from. Are you shoving down what you really want because you cancel it out — believing it's impractical or impossible?
Have you settled for a life that's not what you really want?
Have you betrayed your standards for comfort, security, or because of complacency?
Living a life aligned with your true self requires not only going in the direction of what you really want but avoiding being sidelined by the very human tendency to stall, become discouraged, and give up."
- Elizabeth Stone is a life and dating coach.
27. Helping people is part of being true to yourself
"Technology is really changing people's behavior.
We are communicating differently. And while we're often learning from one another online, the irony is that we find it hard to interact effectively face-to-face. Oftentimes, we do little about stress. Dismissing them as petty or too complex, we either internalize it, leading to depression and suicides, or we externalize it, leading to bullying, homicides, and the other violence so often shown in media.
Using keen problem-pointing and management for conflicts is key. While we may not always be able to express a need for help for our own conflicts, we can relish in our ability to aid others effectively which often can facilitate understanding ourselves."
- Remi Alli is a wellness consultant.
28. Listen to what's inside of you already
"Here's my three-step strategy to ensure living aligned becomes easy, effortless, and in line with a higher purpose. Naturally!
1. Be aware that you're already fully connected (and empowered) by your true self.
2. Become aligned, fully present, and mindful, at the moment. Harness whatever system works for you.
3. With Step 2 complete, you will confidently manifest your positive framed thoughts as: Ready, fire, aim … in that order! That’s right."
- Paul Litwack is a leadership coach.
29. Embrace all of your nature
"To live a life aligned with one's true self, we must delve deeply into our inherent sexualness, our erotic nature, and let this well of creative life-force energy spring forth through bodily pleasure, joy, and self-expression. The more we repress and suppress our passion and intimacy, the more we dam up our greatest untapped resource — our sexual energy."
- Sacha Fossa is a sex and holistic coach.
30. You are constantly evolving
"Aligning with your true self is a constant evolution. When a relationship is new, and you want so badly to be liked, it takes courage to ensure that your new partner is tested for STDs and uses condoms with you. Sexual integrity is a muscle; not only does it get easier with practice, but it results in feeling heightened sexual confidence which is undeniably sexy and empowering."
- Melissa White is the CEO of Lucky Bloke and a sex educator.
31. Don't let self-doubt get in the way of who you are
"Aligning with your true self is one of the healthiest things you can do to balance your body, mind, and spirit, not to mention your yin and yang.
When we're out of alignment, everything feels off. It can be impossible to get comfortable, get anything done, or even sleep peacefully.
Self-doubt can run rampant because, after all, you don't know who you truly are. Two of the best things you can do to get into alignment are taking time to meditate to calm you and connect you, and developing a Qigong practice to balance your internal energy and your yin and yang."
- Jan Tucker is a dating mentor and spiritual yogi.
32. Ask yourself what your primary driving source is
"The cornerstones of stepping into your authentic self are knowing your core values and cultivating your purpose: The primary driving force that ignites you. There’s an unmistakable power in knowing and being your real self."
- Jacqueline Neuwirth is a business and life coach.
33. You are divine
"We are born being our true self as an embodied spirit. Our nature is the mystery of being 100 percent human and 100 percent divine from moment to moment. The only thing that interferes with being aligned is shadows that we accumulate as limiting beliefs, feelings, and memories from our experiences.
Our shadows interfere with our conscious connection with Source and who we truly are as an embodied spirit. Loving the shadow away and living your uniqueness allows you to accelerate your ability to be a conscious co-creator and be aligned with your true self in the now."
- Michael Gobel is a psychologist and therapist.
34. Be intentional in what you want to do
"Be intentional about what you want to do, plan to do, and do! Along the journey, ask yourself, 'Do I really want to do this? Yes or no.'"
- Audrey Tait is a psychotherapist and counselor.
35. Authentic living is a journey
"Living life that is aligned with our true self is a process of discovery. Remaining open to a felt sense guiding us from within, we resonate with and follow that which is honest, true, and meaningful for us to become aligned. ... Aligning with our true self is often a discovery made after loss when life requires that we relinquish what we had to find what we really need."
- Geraldine Kerr is a therapist and life coach.
36. Discover your strengths and weaknesses
"Everyone has strengths that can be developed over time and everyone has weaknesses they should be able to recognize. Once you focus and improve upon your strengths and have identified your weaknesses, seek the advice and input of other experts who may have strengths where you have weaknesses. People who are successful in life and love play to their strengths.”
- Mary Beth Sweeney is an attorney and conflict management mediator.
37. What is your mission here on Earth?
If you're feeling unfulfilled in your relationship, sometimes it's not about your relationship; sometimes it's about you. Something in you is unfulfilled, and husband, career, kids, car, or other stuff isn't going to make this go away. You have to get clear on your why — why you are here on Earth and what your mission is."
- Dr. Lisa Webb is a marriage and couples counselor.
38. Put aside your distractions
"To live an authentic life that aligns with your true self means to let go.
Let go of distractions; let go of masks, and let go of comparisons.
You should follow a recipe of baby steps every day that includes eliminating one distraction, one mask, and one comparison and replacing those undesirable inauthentic behaviors with a 3-5 minute meditation, honest communication with your partner, BFF, or co-worker, and self-affirmation spoken in the mirror."
- Poppy & Geoff Spencer are relationship coaches and certified counselors.
39. Your true self is already there within you
"Your true self isn’t something you go and find; it’s already with you. The great secret to living it is simply allowing your most natural mode of being to lead the way. Be unapologetic in your quirks and passions, for through them the world will get to know the real you."
- Nicole Gruel is a wellness coach and author.
40. Stop putting limiting beliefs in your way
"Invest time and energy in an understanding of where you came from and how it formed the way you are. Essentially — you must understand how you roll, respond, and do things in life, in order to get rid of the habits, attitudes, and beliefs you didn't or wouldn't ultimately claim for yourself.
This way you get to not only bust through the glass ceilings, limitations, and false assumptions you inherited, but you get to bust through the ones you accidentally placed there yourself — which were keeping you from your true self."
- Eva Van Prooyen is a licensed marriage and family therapist.
41. Be honest with yourself
"To live a life that aligns with your true self you must be honest about who you are. Take a look in the mirror and figure out who that reflection represents."
- Karen Vaughn is a licensed professional counselor.
42. Don't forget about your self-care
"I like to think of our true self as this little person at the center of our being — what I call our “circle of one” — who represents the best of who we are. They're always there to support, encourage, and lovingly nudge us to listen deeply to that inner voice. And the best way to do that is to give ourselves time and space and silence to hear its wisdom, and to always practice extreme self-care on every level: Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually."
- Deborah Roth is a relationship coach and the founder of Spiritual Living.
43. Decide on the life you want to live
"If you want to be happy, you need to clarify your vision for the life and love you want … and don’t settle for less. First, identify impeding beliefs that are not aligned with your true self like, “I’m not good enough,” and get help to shift them so you’re feeling fabulous and deserving. Learn how to live your life deliberately, stay aligned with your vision and core values, and you can confidently create a life you love with the love of your life!"
- Dr. Wendy Lyon is a psychologist and relationship coach.
44. Don't let fear stop you
"It can be frightening to fully express your unique self, but if you locate several inspiring role models whose courage to defy convention and step fully into their brilliance changed the world.
When you feel fear, you can remember their shining example, take a deep breath, and go forward on your path.
Others may criticize, but remember their judgments are evidence of their own fear and all the ways they have failed to step fully into their gifts. You can do this because quite simply, you were born for it!"
- Veronica Monet is a relationship coach and sexologist.
45. Your true self is your true state of being
"Recognize that alignment with your true, most expanded self is your natural state of being, and you are the only one who can choose to deviate from it. Deliberately direct the power of your focus to appreciate every positive aspect of yourself and of this life experience, and you’ll attract to you the very best that life has to offer."
- Christy Whitman is an energy healer and life management specialist.
46. Meditation can help you reach peace
"Learning how to meditate regularly — twice a day if you can — brings a steadiness and relaxation of mind. Meditation helps you to connect with the deepest part of yourself and from this stillness of being you can then move out into the world. This practice will help you to stay in alignment with your true self."
- Maetreyii Ma Nolan is a psychologist and teacher.
47. Your life should be based on values
"To live a life that is aligned with your true self is to live a life that is based on your values, on things that are important for you to have in your life, rather than on your emotions and your reactions to your emotions. Take an inventory of what is important to you and use them to guide your decisions and your behaviors. Do you want physical health, unconditional love, mental health, compassion, adventure, fun, meaningful work, service to others, or passion? Take a good look at what is important to you and move forward …"
- Mitzi Bockmann is a certified life coach.
48. Choose courage over comfort
"Being true to our values and personal ethics ensures alignment with the person we wish to become. Doing so often means choosing courage over comfort, finding our own path rather than following others, and having empathy for ourselves and others. Showing kindness to others is an act of love, and in doing so, we overcome fear, become kinder to ourselves, and we become happier."
- Tracey Grove is a leadership coach and the founder of Pure Symmetry.
49. Don't make a choice that doesn't feel right
"Getting grounded in your core life values and using them as a checkpoint for every choice and decision will keep you aligned with your true self. Honoring your values will allow you to move through life’s ebbs and flows with more ease. When your thoughts and actions compromise your values, things just don’t feel right — because you’re not living in integrity with what you value most."
- María Tomás Keegan is a certified life and career coach.
50. Embrace your precious traits
"Make a list, starting from childhood, of your most precious traits: Your talents, your strengths, your untapped potential. Pick one to further develop. Envision yourself with your special trait fully developed. Enjoy yourself. After all, everyone else is taken."
- Barbara Becker Holstein is a psychologist and originator of The Enchanted Self.
51. Find your passion
"What is your passion? Once you discover it, follow that. Be as present and mindful as possible. When you are present, your intuition is loud and clear. Finally, don’t be concerned with what others think about you or what you do. Keep your mind and heart focussed on the inner voice inside, be present, have gratitude, and follow your passion and you cannot go wrong."
- Lori Beth Bisbey is a sex coach and psychologist.
52. Don't stand in your own way
"Get out of your own way! So many of us live in fear of what others think, shame about who we are, or regret the past. To live aligned with our true selves, we need to steer clear of 'compare and despair' and come back to who we are and why we're here. Nobody can do what you can do or be who you are, so live you proudly."
- Dan Drake is a licensed marriage and family therapist.
53. Let go of the pain of your past
"Our best advice to live a life that's aligned with your true self is to show up as love in every interaction, even when you're tempted not to. Surrender all your stories of a painful past and the possibilities of the future to the truth and beauty of the present moment. And stop, slow down, be still and allow the deep inner wisdom that's always within you to guide your life."
- Susie & Otto Collins are relationship coaches.
54. Pay attention to your own feelings
"Use the wisdom of your body! Imagine your true self living your best life, and as you see it in your mind's eye, feel what happens in your body — sensations, emotions, posture, etc. Now do one thing that evokes those same sensations, emotions, posture, etc. Feel the difference!"
- Rhonda Kelloway is a psychologist with Life Care Wellness.
55. Facing your fear is how to grow more powerful
"Face your fear to grow into your powerful true self! Your fear will help you uncover what you truly desire. Then you can push your fear aside, jump off the cliff and fly!"
- Dr. Diana Kirschner is a love mentor and dating coach.
56. Don't forget to have fun
"It's important to slow down. Our true self is best recognized in quiet moments. In fact, our true self is best distinguished by recognizing when we are not operating from it. For example, when we're reacting, in an emotional trigger, taking action from a wounded child state, we are not aligned with our true nature.
Our true nature is wholeness and completeness, not the protective, safety patterning we created when we were young in order to survive a situation. So perhaps said even more simply, our true self is never operating from a place of imagined fear. It's operating from a place of love, potential, creation, and play — creating because it's fun, not creating because we're so afraid of the lack that feels intolerable in front of us.
The true self resides in our hearts, not in our heads. Our heads are great at protecting us with logic, explanation, justification, and rationalization. Our hearts simply move us without and beyond reason. When we take time to feel into our hearts and develop a deeper more connected relationship with it, we're better able to live in alignment with what ultimately makes us happy."
- Clayton Olson is a relationship coach.
57. Listen to your inner wisdom
"Small callings tell us what to do. Great callings tell us what to be. Inside each of us, there is infinite wisdom about who we are and why we’re here. Get still and listen to your inner wisdom and then flow around the obstacles like a river around rocks."
- Mary Kay Cocharo is a counselor and therapist.
58. Put intention into all of your actions
"Bring awareness and curiosity to the intentions behind all of your actions. Ask yourself often, "Are my actions coming from love and inspiration or fear and obligation?" Practice self-compassion, and self-forgiveness and choose your future actions accordingly."
- Marisa Molina is a life coach and behavioral scientist.
59. It's a balancing act but still worth it
"Keeping your life aligned with your true self is a balancing act. Follow your heart, but let your mind weigh in as well. Do things that bring you joy, but find ways to manage the unpleasant tasks that lead to the joyful ones. Persevere. Don’t give up on your aspirations, but make adjustments when needed. Stay true to your values or you may go off course.
Include people in your life who are not afraid to offer constructive criticism, but will support your decisions even if they disagree. Reassess from time to time to see how you are doing balancing the alignment of your life with your true self."
- Barbara Lavi is a licensed clinical psychologist.
60. Get in touch with your belief system
"Getting to know who your creator is ... whatever your religion or faith beliefs, how you came to be, exist, and have meaning is important to understanding yourself. Beyond that, figure out the things you like, what you want out of life, your values, and what motivates you. Live into your strengths and cultivate your weaknesses. Be authentic, don't pretend to be anyone that you're not, and pursue what matters most to you!"
- Amy Sargent is a marriage and family therapist.
61. Accept your true self
"The journey begins by understanding and acceptance of your true self. Afterward, forgive your true self for having held on to stuff long past its expiration date. Finally, begin a practice of engaging in self-care. Lastly, honor your true self to the best of your abilities with what you have and know now."
- Keya Murthy is a hypnotherapist and life coach.
62. Get rid of beliefs that don't help you
"To live our true self we've got to 'clear the slate' of unconscious core beliefs about ourselves that aren't helping us. Clear the fears that hold us back. Then 'upload' all the good thoughts we want so that we get an inner sense of knowing we are worthy and deserving. That's when you become an unshakable version of yourself."
- Renee Catt is a divorce and relationship coach.
63. Say no if you're uncomfortable
"Try saying 'no' to a request or invitation when it feels like the response that is in alignment with your true self. When you say 'no' because that is the aligned truth, you are taking care of everyone including the person making the invitation or request. It's not in their highest good if you're heart isn't in it, plus you can graciously say no by adding the phrase, 'Thank you so much for thinking of me, that means a lot to me, but at this time I need to decline.'"
- Laura Rubinstein is a hypnotherapist, mentor, and coach.
64. How are you honoring yourself in life?
"To feel aligned with your true self, realign your life around your personal values because they are what bring meaning into your life and give you your identity. To do that, take the time to define them by considering what words describe them best and why they’re important to you.
Once clearly defined, identify where in your life you’re not fully honoring them (or even ignoring them) and use them as your inner guide moving forward, especially when making big decisions and goal-setting."
- Heather Moulder is a life coach and attorney.
65. Focus on living your life
"Forget about comparing yourself to others. Everyone is normal until you get to know them — and the details of their lives. Use your energy on living your life to love, learn and contribute."
- Karen Kristjanson is a life coach and social psychologist.
66. Live true to yourself
"Living true to your authentic sexual self is imperative to a healthy sex life with yourself, with others, and just being comfortable in your own skin. You must let go of societal pressures and be who you want to be, to create an awareness of what you want and what you need to be happy. Once you have created a vision of what it means to be the real you, think of what you need to do to get there so you can take action and be able to move forward in appreciating your true, authentic self."
- Dr. Stacy Friedman is a sex coach.
67. Give it some time to let your true self come forward
"Your true self resides in the wisdom of your body and not the craziness of your mind. Learn to listen intimately by feeling your body, your breath, your heart. From there … your true self will always emerge."
- Anna Thea is an author and sex educator.
68. Invest your time with people who are worthy of you
"Relationships are easy. Sure, they take effort, but they should not take 'work.' Invest your time in relationships that fill your cup and provide joy and let go of ones that don’t."
- Evan Marc Katz is a dating and relationship coach.
69. Is there inconsistency in your feelings and actions?
"Living a life that aligns with your true self requires intentionality, you must live your life authentically. How you want to be seen by others must be consistent with who you truly are, how you see yourself. When there is an inconsistency between how you see yourself and how you would like to others to see you, it will never lead to self-discovery or align with your true self."
- Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford is a psychologist and author.
70. What is it you need to be authentic?
"If you want to live a life that's aligned with your true self, you need three things:
- To be true to yourself: That's uncompromising self-honesty and the ability to recognize and clean up self-deception and old wounds
- To be in possession of your faculties: That's a high degree of mastery of your attention, intention, memory, and imagination
- Uncompromising standards of excellence: That's settling for nothing short of your intended results
Anything less is a betrayal of your true self, to one degree or another. There are specific ways to bring these three requirements alive in you, so you own them."
- Lawrence Gold is a wellness coach and somatic educator.
71. Be consistent in your values
"To live a life that’s consistent with your values, you have to be authentic, which means being honest and being who you truly are. You can bump up your authenticity quotient by saying what you really think (talking the talk) and acting in accordance with what you say (walking the walk). It helps not to go overboard by alienating people with too many hard truths (in other words, try not to be a jerk about it)."
- Judith Tutin is a psychologist and certified life coach.
72. Listen to your inner voice
"When you hear your authentic inner voice telling you what you are meant to do and how you’d like to be, listen to the 'God' power speaking through you. We often listen to others instead of ourselves. 'To thine own self be true,' is that inner truth that only you know and when you 'hear the words' they reverberate within you calling you to action."
- According to Dr. Elaine Schneider.
73. Make sure you're 'walking the talk'
"Here are some concise definitions of 'integrity' that you won't find in the dictionary that captures the essence of what the word means, the simplest of which is 'walking the talk.' A couple of others are 'practicing what you preach,' and 'putting your money where your mouth is.' A slightly more elaborate definition of integrity is, 'the integration and alignment of your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.'"
- Linda & Charlie Bloom are marriage and family therapists and counselors.
74. Plan for your future
"If you’re spiritual, making a difference is key; if you’re emotional, joyously connecting with others is crucial; if you’re all about financial success then you must learn to radically increase earnings and if you’re about safety then you need to learn to plan for a better future, now!"
- Susan Allan is a marriage counselor and the founder of The Marriage Forum.
75. Unleash your inner warrior
"Living a life in alignment with your true self is all about getting quiet and listening to your inner voice, what I call your inner warrior. I encourage clients to set moments in their every day where this quiet is possible: morning intention, daily movement, and nightly gratitude.
I establish structure in my and my family's day to quiet the busy in order to protect our inner selves and live a life that's in alignment with our values. This is what living a life you love is all about."
- Susie Pettit is a life and cognitive coach.
76. Get an understanding of what you want in life
"In order to live a life that’s aligned with your true self then, my dear, you must know who you are and what you want. While this can sound both challenging and a little flip, awareness is powerful too. One of the easiest ways to do this is to take pen to paper and ask yourself a series of questions or journal prompts!"
- Debra Smouse is a life coach and writer.
77. Figure out what your passions are in life
"Aligning your life with your true self requires a lucid understanding of your unique self-blueprint, which makes focused direction possible in this age of abounding options & constant change.
In order to have a clear cognizance of your unique self, it is imperative to identify things such as what activities energize you, what are your gifts, and what things you are passionate about.
The awareness about those aspects will enable you to make a better decision to maximize your unique self-blueprint, and intentionally move away from activities which yield little fulfillment and impact."
- Ellen Patricia is a family coach and life counselor.
78. Maintain your integrity
"Being on integrity with your values allows you to be confident about who you are in the face of so many demands from the world around you to be who they want you to be"
- Foojan Zeine is a marriage and family therapist.
79. Do what makes you feel happy
"Living a truly authentic life starts with picking up just one passion and feeding it by committing to doing it on a regular basis. If you don't know what passion to pursue, I recommend going to a bookstore or a library and looking in the non-fiction section. See what areas and topics you are drawn to and that's a good guide as to where your passions can be discovered."
- Madame Pamita is a psychic medium and tarot reader.
80. Determine your life's true purpose
"Discover your true life's purpose. It’s a free ticket to the freedom and bliss that spontaneously emerge when you live as your authentic self 24/7.”
- Doris Helge is a certified leadership and executive coach.
81. Follow your words with your actions
"In order to live a life aligned with your true self make 'DWYSYWD' your mantra: 'Do What You Say You Will Do.'"
- Keith Dent is a relationship coach and counselor.
82. Know that you're in control of yourself
Think about how you want to be in the world. Know that you are the authority of you, so you get to decide your own core value system. If you act in a way that matches your core value system, and how you want to be in the world, then you are living in alignment with your true self."
- Jacqueline Cohen is a licensed counselor and therapist.
83. Take the time for deep reflection
"Living a life aligned with your true self first requires some deep reflection on the question: 'Who am I?' Ask yourself over and over jotting down your response in your journal. As you peel back the layers of your identity, ego, and 'small' self, you will arrive at your true nature: you are a spiritual being having a human experience! Now you are aligned!"
- Ruth Dow Rogers is a life coach.
84. You are unique — embrace it
"We are all unique individuals with a one-of-a-kind gift. Dare to be your own person and have the courage to show what you can do with your unique gift. You’ll be surprised what amazing things you can do when you do not conform to the norm."
- Esther Bilbao is a mentor to women and a relationship coach.
85. Honor the highest good in yourself
"Saying no to anything that doesn't match your superpower, your aligned choices that honor your highest good, and the experiences that bring out the best in your are the three keys to honor your true self."
- Dr. Dar Hawks is a life coach.
86. Get in touch with who you really are
"If you are unsure of what your true self is, find out what your personal horoscope says about you as well as your Enneagram personality type. You’ll get clarification and only stick with what you truly are passionate about and weed out anything else that you are not."
- Miriam Slozberg is a writer and astrologer.
Merethe Najjar is a professional writer, editor, and fiction author.