11 Challenges Truly Happy People Have Faced That Make Them So Magnetic
Speed bumps sometimes pave the road to pure joy.
KoolShooters | Pexels It can be challenging to find real joy when our attention is pulled in different directions. Things we want to do and things we should do, or the directions of who we want to be and the path we're currently on. Often, these directions conflict, confuse, and dysregulate us. When we find the alignment with our self-truth, it leads us to a deeper joy, connecting us with life in a new and different way.
Here are 11 spiritual challenges the happiest people had to face to find real joy
1. Overcoming fear
Facing my deepest fears and dialoguing with them in a way I had never experienced has been critical to leading life with happiness. I'm not alone in this, as one of the strongest recommendations to people who are debilitated by fear is to stop trying to push it away. Instead, try journaling about your fears and then talking yourself through the fears instead of ignoring them.
2. Letting go of ego
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Letting my ego take a backseat when something larger was present and happening, allowed me to recognize the awe of when something larger is present with timeliness, perfection, and clarity. Recognizing the connection is real and not shaded by insecurities, doubts, and “as if” sentiments.
3. Abandoning the scarcity mindset
Dropping the scarcity mindset required recognizing limiting beliefs about focusing on “not enough,” which included not being enough as a person. This was a condition of existing in a world where I was meant to be protected and play safe.
By expanding outside this limiting belief, I experienced abundance in ways that proved how much I needed to move beyond limiting beliefs. A study in Current Psychology suggests that we limit our ability to create and make joy happen when we stay stuck in scarcity mindset. I realized there is more than enough, and I am enough as I am.
4. Giving in to despair
Despair was a hard one to give up as it hit my core, a core I had to reinvent and re-experience. Rediscovering the core of my being and self-identity was a time of despair as I had denied this for so long.
Allowing myself to be swallowed by the despair was not a space I imagined I would escape. Yet the moment I surrendered to it, the moment I gave in to the experience, was the moment I moved beyond it.
5. Embracing loneliness
The pandemic created the worst experience of loneliness I have ever experienced, and it led to coping in unhealthy ways. The coping mechanisms were to not feel any loneliness. The depth and breadth of the emotion was indescribable.
Though so many images appeared, and in so many moments, I felt connected to something larger. It was a paradoxical experience in and of itself, yet it provided the greatest feeling of connection. I know I'm not alone in this, as according to a review published in an academic journal, loneliness is more than an individual one, but a societal one that can affect women uniquely.
6. Exploring the shadows
Embracing parts of myself I had long forgotten or had never named, I was able to name them and give a description to the persona. Knowing this was all a part of me and had a purpose allowed me to see myself in a different light and integrate the pieces I had cut off.
7. Forgetting about modesty
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Being the center of attention for a moment was a new experience and not one I wanted. Yet it was a challenge that brought new meaning to humility, owning myself, letting go of self-consciousness about every detail, and having fun!
I was able to be the center of attention while performing something I never thought I could do, and doing it in a way that taught others something about themselves because I was awkward, embarrassed, and willing to be open to it all, so it all could flow through me.
8. Remembering sensory-based pleasure
Well, this is self-explanatory. Or, maybe not, because it is also the senses that bring joy to me. Savoring a friendly voice and knowing the difference among the variety of sounds and tastes is a different experience of pleasure I bring to mind when I need to remember happiness.
9. Releasing control
Losing control and recognizing you are not always having an ultimate challenge is not easy at first. There are so many situations that can test our boundaries, resources, how we identify, and even tenacity and perseverance.
Yet knowing there is something on the other side of the experience, knowing (and hoping) it would help in connecting with another and understanding the human experience.
I had to keep at whatever I did not have control over until I found what I could control, myself, my responses, and what brings me back to balance.
10. Being different
I so wanted to be like everyone else, to fit in and belong. Yet I did not realize how much these experiences make me who I am, and lend to the unique characteristics I treasure in others.
A study in Current Psychology showed that when an individual feels fully accepted, we are so much more free to be fully who we are, and that paradox allows joy and a sense of free-spirited happiness that nothing can take away. It is something sacred to me and doesn’t come from a place of desperation.
11. Protecting the sacred
This experience is about finding a sacredness that is worth protecting. When something has value to me, someone has to prove they are not going to violate, taint, or destroy it because it is there for a reason. Once the sacred becomes infected, it is a virus that quickly spreads and shifts the original sanctity and destroys joy.
The happiest people know true joy lies within. When you allow yourself to experience the depths of the expected and the unexpected spaces between the individual and the interconnected, you can embrace the challenges that arise. Embracing challenges provides you with an unequivocal opportunity to accept the choices of happiness in yourself and others
Serena Wadhwa, Psy.D., LCPC, CADC is an author, supervisor, connector, idea generator, harm reduction advocate and coach, and a spiritual visionary leader. Dr. Serena is an associate professor, a clinical therapist, and an administrative assistant for a non-profit.
