11 Beliefs That Are Quietly Ruining Gen Z’s Lives Without Them Even Realizing It
Gen Z is still young and just starting to learn what it means to be an adult, and as they do, several of their beliefs are holding them back.
PinkCoffee Studio / Shutterstock Every generation’s belief systems are built around shared experiences. One person’s interpretation is bound to be different from the next person’s, yet there are still common threads that tie their lived experiences together. Some thoughts are so deeply ingrained, people don’t even notice them, although they shape the way they see the world.
Because of this, there are several beliefs that are quietly ruining Gen Z’s lives without them even realizing it. The more they’re able to connect their thoughts to their emotions, the easier it will be for them to release what’s holding them back.
These are 11 beliefs that are quietly ruining Gen Z’s lives without them even realizing it
1. ‘Being perfect is more important than trying new things’
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Gen Z’s belief that they have to be perfect on the first try is quietly ruining their lives. As tech-savvy as they are, being raised on a steady diet of social media has made it hard for Gen Z to accept anything less than perfection. Every TikTok influencer has the perfect core workout or the perfect skincare routine to get that perfect glow. Gen Z doesn’t see all the times their favorite influencers tried and failed, they only see the highlight reels.
Gen Z’s perfectionist tendencies are quietly ruining their lives, without them realizing it. Certified life coach Ellen Nyland described perfectionism as “the relentless pursuit of flawlessness and the setting of unattainably high standards, often accompanied by self-criticism and fear of failure.”
“Perfectionists have a strong fear of failure and view mistakes or wrong decisions as personal failures,” she explained. “Avoiding taking risks can limit your personal and professional growth and prevent you from fully experiencing new and rewarding experiences.”
Gen Z thinks making one mistake defines their entire existence, instead of seeing mistakes for what they really are: Proof that learning something new isn’t easy, but it’s the only way to grow.
2. ‘I should feel good about everything I do’
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Gen Z thinks they should only do things that make them feel good, but that belief is quietly ruining their lives without them even realizing it. More than other generations, Gen Z emphasizes self-care and protecting their inner peace, but they don’t always realize how limited their definition of self-care has become. They equate self-care with always being comfortable, which often means they avoid doing hard things that will make their lives better in the long run.
In her book, “Secrets of Adulthood,” writer Gretchen Rubin revealed that having a happy life doesn’t mean feeling happy all the time. She described four elements involved in making your life happier: Doing things that make you feel good, getting rid of things that make you feel bad, doing things that reflect your values, and creating an atmosphere of growth.
Rubin pointed out that “We feel happier when we're growing,” yet she acknowledged that “the atmosphere of growth is accompanied by insecurity, frustration, feeling incompetent.”
“So sometimes to have our lives be happier, we have to put up with things that don't make us feel happy,” she concluded.
Learning how to tolerate discomfort is part of being a successful adult. Gen Z doesn’t realize that avoiding things that make them feel bad is quietly ruining their lives and holding them back from a successful future.
3. ‘Boredom is unacceptable’
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Unlike the generations that came before them, Gen Z has never known a world without the internet. Having constant, immediate access to information has become totally normalized. As a result, Gen Z believes they should never be bored, without realizing how that belief is quietly ruining their lives.
“We stimulate our kids and ourselves twenty-four/seven as if boredom or emptiness were toxic things,” explained Michael Rich, an associate professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School. “Boredom can be a very good thing; that’s when kids say ‘let’s build a treehouse, let’s put on a puppet show.’”
According to Rich, when kids are allowed to be bored without distractions, “not only do they learn to tolerate that so-called emptiness but they learn to enjoy it. That’s where creativity and innovation come from.”
Gen Z is so accustomed to being entertained by outside forces, they struggle to sit quietly with themselves. They don’t realize it, but the idea that life should always feel exciting holds them back from appreciating the present moment.
4. ‘I need to feel motivated to get work done’
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Gen Z thinks that motivation is the key to being productive, but that misguided belief is quietly ruining their lives. They see focus as a zero-sum game. If they don’t feel completely motivated to tackle a certain task, they avoid it, which only makes it harder for them to get their work done later on.
“Most people believe motivation is a gift,” psychologist Nick Wignall explained. “They believe that with this gift, they’re capable of great things. But without it, they’re destined for mediocrity or failure.”
“The relationship between motivation and action is a two-way street,” he revealed. “Feeling good makes it easier to accomplish hard things. But doing hard things leads to feeling good.”
According to Wignall, “Happy people set challenging goals and work toward them regardless of how they feel. And they’re happy precisely because of their belief that motivation follows action, not the other way around.”
“Don’t wait around for motivation to strike,” he advised. “Learn to build it yourself.”
5. ‘I’ll save money once I start making more’
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Gen Z believes they need to make more money in order to save money, which is quietly ruining their lives without them realizing. They take a short-sighted approach to financial planning, which holds them back from building any semblance of wealth.
Without savings, Gen Z will continue to struggle. As hard as it is for Gen Z to cover daily expenses, they should still focus on saving, even if it’s just a little bit at a time.
6. ‘Life should always be easy’
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Gen Z believes life should always be easy, without realizing that this mindset is quietly ruining their lives. They want to avoid negative feelings, which means they avoid difficult situations. Yet that avoidance holds them back from developing emotional resilience.
According to psychologist Guy Winch, “It's hard to draw on your coping mechanisms when your story is that you don't have any.”
“Resilience is built by getting through hardships and recognizing the resources within us and around us that helped us do so,” he explained. “Remind yourself that when challenges come, you'll be upset and distressed and even shut down for a while, but you have a whole list of tools and resources to help you bounce back and if you can recover once — you can recover again.”
7. “I should always listen to my emotions’
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Gen Z are highly self-aware and emotionally intelligent, yet they mistakenly believe they should let their emotions guide every decision they make. This belief is quietly ruining their lives, without them even realizing it. According to psychologist Nick Wignall, “Emotions can be incorrect and unhelpful just as often as they’re accurate and helpful.”
“It’s usually a good idea to listen to your emotions, but it’s unwise to simply trust them,” he explained. There’s no such thing as a negative emotion, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy to act on every emotional impulse you have.
8. ‘Anxiety means I can’t do hard things’
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Gen Z reports higher levels of anxiety than any other generation, and they hold onto the misguided belief that being anxious means they can’t take on challenges. They might not realize it, but letting anxiety control them is quietly ruining their lives.
Anxiety can cloud people’s self-perception, making them feel like they’re not capable. The more Gen Z lets their anxiety define them, the harder it is to break the cycle of avoidance.
As Momentum Psychology Practice pointed out, when it comes to combatting anxiety, “it’s important to have self-compassion.”
“Even when it’s hard, remember that you can do hard things,” they shared. “You’re not in this alone. We can do hard things together to enhance our lives and those in our homes, workplaces, and communities. Often, with life, it’s about the journey, not the destination.”
9. ‘Going to therapy fixes everything’
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Gen Z puts their mental health front and center, but their belief in therapy as an automatic fix is quietly ruining their lives. They don’t realize that going to therapy is only the first step to healing. Sitting with their feelings is just one part of processing them.
If they’re not committed to changing how they act, their emotional lives will stay stagnant. Gen Z prioritizes “doing the work,” but all too often, they don’t actually do the everyday, tangible things they need to do to improve their quality of life.
10. ‘If I’m not immediately successful, I should just give up’
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Gen Z’s steadfast belief in instant gratification is quietly ruining their lives, even if they don’t realize it. Their social media feeds are filled with people who seem to have found success with minimal effort.
Gen Z has a hard time understanding that true success is a slow process. Building wealth and welcoming abundance are more about commitment than any quick solutions.
11. ‘Cutting out toxic people will make my life better right away’
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Gen Z doesn’t hesitate to cut off toxicity right at the root, but they don’t realize that cutting people off won’t make their lives better right away. They tend to look outward for ways to improve their lives, instead of reflecting on their own patterns of behavior.
It’s not easy for Gen Z to acknowledge that they can be as toxic as anyone else, but being honest with themselves will change their lives for the better, in a more sustainable way.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.