5 Uncomfortable Personality Traits That Mean You Have A Higher Purpose, According To A Psychotherapist
True change requires discomfort.
Everyone ponders questions about the meaning of their life, but how many people are actually destined to experience that higher purpose of living?
Whether it’s a perfectly suited career, empowering relationships, or time spent with loved ones, psychotherapist Margot Miller on TikTok suggests that some people are meant for this “higher purpose” on Earth but struggle to truly fulfill it amid toxic circles and circumstances.
So, if you experience one or more of these uncomfortable personality traits in your daily life, it could be a sign that you’re meant for something bigger, more fulfilling, and more profound. You just need a push to truly realize it.
Here are 5 uncomfortable personality traits that mean you have a higher purpose:
1. You’re a people-pleaser
Experts suggest that “people pleasers” are more likely to experience depression, burnout, and dissatisfaction in their lives than others — not only because they’re wasting much-needed energy on the people around them but also because they struggle to advocate for themselves.
“Old souls are empaths. All old souls have a higher calling,” Miller explained. “The deeper into the people pleasing, the higher your purpose.” Their needs, wants, routines, and health are always compromised to help others — they support others at the expense of their own well-being.
2. You’re holding onto excessive guilt
If you’re navigating life with the burdens of guilt, even without a clear source for the feelings, chances are you’re destined for a higher purpose and are simply missing the signs.
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You’re grieving the experience and life you’re destined for without being blatantly conscious of that fact. “People who hold this guilt have intuitive gifts.”
3. Fear of confrontation or conflict
“The harder the path, the higher the calling,” Miller shared, suggesting that people with lingering traumas affecting their communication and coping skills in the face of conflict are more likely to have an unfulfilled higher purpose.
If you struggle with setting boundaries, advocating for yourself during arguments, or speaking your mind in the face of discomfort, you’ve probably been the victim of a difficult situation, relationship, or atmosphere — giving you the foundation of insight and struggle to achieve higher consciousness.
4. You feel like you don’t fit in
“You might feel like you don’t fit in,” Miller said, “but you weren’t meant to. You’re here to blaze your own trail.”
“One day, it hits you, ‘Is this all that there is for me in this world? Is this all that life is going to be?’” wellness coach @gabriela_flax on TikTok explained. “When I started asking myself these questions, that’s when I realized… You have to become consciously aware to start uncovering it.”
While it might feel uncomfortable or even lonely to “not fit in” with other people in your life, this realization of not having a purpose or feeling “left out” can be the trigger needed to break your stagnancy.
5. You give to others at your own expense
“You might actually be surrounded by ‘takers’ or narcissists,” Miller said, expanding on people-pleasing tendencies. “While yes, you’re going to have to learn healthy self-interest, it’s also a sign you want to serve — aka you have a deeper purpose.”
When you’re too focused on the needs of others over your own, you sidestep the transformative journey of healing that can lead you to a higher purpose. Devote time to yourself, make space for introspection, and pour more into your own cup. That’s what it takes to flourish in your own identity and journey.
Healing is the key to unlocking this higher purpose. To move forward on your journey, you must devote time to yourself.
Don’t let your journey to a higher purpose pass you by simply because you’re too distracted with other people’s lives, opinions, and unaddressed trauma to move forward. Healing journeys can be difficult, shifting the relationships in your life and sparking discomfort that might feel counterintuitive, but don’t give up.
Pick a metaphor that resonates with you: Don’t be surprised when you pray for flowers and there’s rain. The grass is always greener. You can’t properly support others if you’re not looking out for yourself. Whatever motivation you need to start the journey — grasp onto it. Your higher purpose is waiting for you on the other side of change, discomfort, and fear.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.