11 Admirable Things Brilliant People Do To Make Liars Hate Them
The brightest people know how to outsmart a liar.
Vovatol | Shutterstock Brilliant people often aspire to live a drama-free life filled with authentic and honest people. As a result, they constantly put their best foot forward and find ways to grow and develop to fulfill their highest potential. Unfortunately, this mindset often inspires envy and dislike from those who cannot replicate those personality traits, usually resulting in them not knowing what to do with themselves.
So, what admirable things do brilliant people do to make liars hate them? From staying silent to remaining collected, these individuals unintentionally remind liars that they'll never be on the same wavelengths as them. And while this might inspire hate from these individuals as their weaknesses are revealed, brilliant people continue to handle it all gracefully.
Here are the 11 admirable things brilliant people do to make liars hate them:
1. They stay unbothered
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The first admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is staying completely unbothered. In life, there are bound to be people who lie and manipulate to get what they want out of a person. Yet, unlike most people, brilliant people don't allow a liar's manipulative behavior to get the better of them.
As a result, they stay calm while a liar does their best to get under their skin. According to psychotherapist Erin Leonard, Ph.D., emotional dysfunction is what toxic individuals want. They want brilliant people to lose their cool because it means they have a sense of control over them. She continued, "When they do not obtain emotional control of you, they may get more aggressive or passive-aggressive until they cross a line."
That being said, how do brilliant people muster the strength to stay calm in the first place? Researcher and psychology professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, ABPP, suggested it's important to acknowledge that annoyance. Don't try to pretend that a liar's tactics are utterly ineffective because that's just emotional suppression.
2. They ask people to repeat themselves
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When a liar goes on a tangent and does their best to make others look bad, they'll often say passive-aggressive or downright cruel comments to get there. Feeling empowered by their sense of righteousness, they'll convince themselves they're innocent, even if the facts say otherwise.
So, one admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is ask a liar to repeat what was said. For instance, if someone says, "You're insufferable," a brilliant person takes a moment to pause and then says, "Can you repeat that?" in the most calm and collected voice possible. Not only does this infuriate a liar, but repeating what was said makes a liar uncomfortable.
According to trial attorney Jefferson Fisher, repeating what was said is the best way to turn the tables. He continued, "They won't get that dopamine hit they were expecting," Consequently, they're increasingly more likely to grow uncomfortable as the tables are flipped.
3. They use silence as a weapon
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It can be infuriating to converse with a liar when they refuse to acknowledge their own toxic behavior. Desperate to be proven right, these individuals will go on a thirty-minute rant to appear like the victim. Unfortunately, this usually falls short. An admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is to use silence as a weapon.
Now, using silence as a weapon isn't always easy. As much as people would like to pretend they have the self-control necessary to stay silent and not refute a liar's points, this is much easier said than done. Even so, staying quiet is the best thing anybody can do when dealing with a liar.
According to professor and psychotherapist Gillian McCann, Ph.D., and Gitte Bechsgaard, RP, "The benefits include improved health, stress reduction, and better mental processing." In an argument, silence makes people feel uncomfortable, especially when they know they were completely wrong in the situation. In essence, it causes them to think about their actions, which is another reason why liars hate brilliant people. They're a mirror that forces a liar to self-reflect.
4. They shut down hypotheticals
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The greatest tactic a liar uses to manipulate those around them is hypotheticals. Hypotheticals keep the conversation going as people mull over what-ifs and debate the actions or feelings of someone else. Though this behavior might seem insignificant or even innocent, hypotheticals are another power tool people use to control those around them.
According to licensed counselor Jamie Cannon, MS, LPC, “Manipulators who crave power and advantage over others will often resort to scheming to attain what they want.” As a result, they’ll say and use what-if scenarios to convince those around them of their ideology or goodness.
However, an admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is refusing to entertain hypotheticals. Instead of falling for the same old playbook, these individuals refocus the conversation and only focus on the facts. Not only does this frustrate a manipulative liar, but it also forces them to switch their initial plans, causing them to be more honest than they’d care to.
5. They hold people accountable
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Let’s face it: nobody likes to admit to their wrongdoing. If people could have it their way, they’d prefer to pretend that the problem doesn’t exist or that their actions were justified. That being said, if someone truly cares and wants to strengthen their relationships, individuals have no choice but to face the music and hold themselves accountable.
Unfortunately, liars don’t operate the same way and, as a result, flip the table to appear justified in their actions. With this in mind, it’s unsurprising that brilliant people inspire hate from chronic liars, as an admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is holding them accountable for their actions. Instead of playing pretend, brilliant people aren’t afraid to say, “But wait, didn’t you do this? That wasn’t okay on your part.”
Not only does this cause liars to dislike brilliant people intensely, but it also knocks them down a step or two. According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, people refuse to apologize to protect their self-esteem. Researchers found that those who refused to apologize experienced a more significant boost in self-esteem than those who apologized. On top of greater self-esteem, people who refused to apologize also felt more in control and powerful.
Therefore, don’t hesitate to highlight their shortcomings when engaging with a liar. This approach is the fastest and simplest method to unsettle them and disrupt their narrative.
6. They ask specific questions
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Liars love to twist the truth and find ways to manipulate a situation in their favor. As a result, liars are increasingly more likely to use dark tactics like emotional manipulation or gaslighting to get what they want out of a situation. This is dangerous; as Robin Stern, PhD, co-founder and associate director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, explained, “Gaslighting may not be the only factor leading to mental illness, but the same factors that leave a person vulnerable to gaslighting may result in lower self-esteem, uncertainty about their own reality, anxiety, and ultimately depression.”
Yet, in the eyes of a manipulative liar, the impact of their actions doesn’t matter. As long as they come out on top, who cares if someone’s mental health or self-esteem is impacted, right? That said, an admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is to ask specific questions. It becomes increasingly more challenging to manipulate a liar when a clever person asks particular questions to which they already know the answer.
Asking these questions can make it harder for liars to make baseless claims when the questions themselves are too detailed to lie about completely. So, if someone’s goal is to put a liar on the spot or make them uncomfortable, try getting specific. Most liars never anticipate these questions in the first place, causing them to feel caught off guard.
7. They remember every detail
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The next admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is to remember every detail. Most liars never expect the average person to remember every detail of what they said. As a result, they feel increasingly more comfortable shifting and changing the goalposts to fit their own narrative.
Because of this, they'll go from, "I think they meant this," to, "They said these exact words," without blinking an eye, assuming that those around them aren't paying attention. However, they aren't necessarily wrong for feeling this way. According to a study published in Behavioral and Brain Sciences, people usually only recall fewer than 20% of specific ideas expressed during a conversation, showcasing just how bad people's memorization skills are after a short delay.
Unfortunately for them, brilliant people have excellent memories as a result of their brilliant brains, which causes them to remember their slip-ups and point them out in the most embarrassing way.
8. They refuse to pick sides
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When discussing another person, it's easy to instantly pick sides when they only hear one side of an argument. This is especially true when a liar manipulates the situation to make it look worse. That being said, an admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is to refuse to pick a side in the first place.
When liars come to others ranting and raving, they expect most people to join in and match their energy. This is why it's especially puzzling when a brilliant person remains calm and says, "Well, I don't know the full story." Feeling a little rejected and enraged, liars might up their antics to make the other person look even worse.
However, the more brilliant people refuse to engage, the more defensive and hateful liars become, eventually despising the brilliant person in question. Yet, brilliant people don't allow their hatred or comments to get to their heads. Feeling confident in themselves and their decisions, brilliant people commit to remaining neutral, no matter how much a liar begs and guilt-trips them.
9. They keep responses simple
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When a liar is baiting a brilliant person, they often come up with the most outrageous things to say. Wanting to get under their skin and prove a point, liars will actively use words or ask questions to guilt-trip a brilliant person into submission. Still, an admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is to stick to simple responses.
It's hard to convince someone of something when they don't give them much to work with. Finding ways to appeal to them emotionally or find commonality to get them to join their side becomes merely impossible when brilliant people refuse to play along with liars. As a result, liars might find themselves growing frustrated with a brilliant person's shrug and their "Well, I guess we will see what happens" response.
Not only is this behavior dismissive, but it's also another form of rejection. Most people underestimate just how decisive social rejection can be. Yet, because human beings are social creatures and depend on connections and community to thrive, feeling dismissed or rejected can often be the difference between liking someone or developing a deep hatred for that person, which, in a brilliant person's cause, might be the ladder in the eyes of a liar.
10. They show them compassion
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If someone lies about someone else, they're most likely doing it to make the other person look bad. Feeling threatened by the person and their success or kind-hearted nature, liars will intentionally twist the truth to ruin that person's reputation effectively. This is probably why an admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars they hate is showing compassion for the other person.
Often, normal people get so caught up in a liar's narrative that they forget the other person is a human being with their own thoughts and feelings. Yet, this is exactly what a manipulative liar hopes for. Wanting to demonize the other person, they bank on other people and their emotions to spread whatever gossip or lie they brewed up.
Fortunately, admirable people aren't like this. Instead of choosing to be unkind to the other person, they actively choose to show compassion instead. Whether that means sticking up for them in front of a liar or going up to them privately and comforting them, brilliant people use their empathetic nature to show compassion, which only benefits them. For instance, research in 2014 showed that engaging in compassionate acts had a measurable impact on cardiovascular health, improving it for the better.
So, despite what a liar might say, brilliant people should continue to be their brilliant selves and show compassion. Not only will it make a liar hate them, but it'll also benefit their health, which is always a plus.
11. They shut down the conversation
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Finally, the last admirable thing brilliant people do to make liars hate them is shut down the conversation altogether. Sometimes, there's simply no arguing with a compulsive liar. So determined to be proven right, these individuals will act irrationally and take the conversation from zero to 100 real quick.
So, when such moments happen, it's better to shut things down before they worsen. Taking a step back, brilliant people aren't afraid to say, "Hey, I'm not in the space to hear this right now. Let's save this for another time." Now, will this offend a liar? However, protecting their mental peace will most likely always matter much more than sitting through a conversation that makes brilliant people uneasy.
On top of that, sometimes, taking a break from a conversation is the best in the long run. According to a study published in Communications Psychology, even taking a five-second break impacts resolution. So, whenever anyone feels overwhelmed by an intense conversation, liar or not, taking a time out could speed things up as both parties can better re-enter the conversation with a clearer mind.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.