People Who Make Incredible First Impressions Display These 10 Traits, According To Psychology
He adores you, so how do you impress his family?
NicolasMcComber | Canva It's finally happened. You've met The One. And — wonder of wonders — he thinks you're the One as well! He finds you fascinating, beautiful, and amazing, but he's not the only person you have to impress.
While you shouldn't give up on love just because his mom gives you the stink-eye, chances are your guy would prefer it if you were all one big, happy family. Because, when it comes down to it, do you really want to make him choose sides? Thank god you have us to teach you how to make a good first impression.
People who make incredible first impressions display these 10 traits
1. Show up
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If you put off meeting his parents, they will assume you're avoiding them. Not only that, but they'll also assume that you don't value family. Uh oh.
Cheerfully accept dinner invitations and take part in regular family traditions. You may hate that annual two-hour round trip to cut down the family Christmas tree, but he's been making that trip his entire life, and he totally looks forward to the apple cider donuts and the stop for lunch at Hot Dog Johnny's.
If you grin and bear it, not only will he appreciate it, but his family will start to treat you as one of their own.
2. Offer to help out
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Over at their house for a dinner party? Offer to put together cheese platters and/or clear the table. Meeting them at a BYOB restaurant? Bring along that great bottle of Chambourcin you picked up from a local winery just the other weekend. Is his little sis applying to post-college jobs for the first time? Ask if she'd like you to take a look at her resume, or help her with cover letters.
They'll love the fact that you're making an effort. Offering to help someone, even in a small way, can significantly contribute to a positive first impression. A 2023 study published in Cognition found that it demonstrates prosocial behavior, indicating warmth, kindness, and genuine concern for the other person, which are highly valued traits in social interactions. However, offering help should be genuine and not appear forced or self-serving, as this can undermine the positive impact.
3. Invite them to dinner
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His fam is always inviting you over for dinner. Not only that, but they also send you home with five Tupperware full of delicious leftovers. We suggest you repay the favor and cook them a gourmet meal of your own.
Not only will this show them how grateful you are for their generosity, but it will also allow them to see that you're fully capable of someday taking care of their darling, adorable baby boy.
4. Be thoughtful
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Make the effort to remember and honor his family members' birthdays, successes, and other milestones with thoughtful gestures or gifts. While a bottle of wine is a cool gift if his parents are really into tastings (pair it with a nice wine journal for extra bonus points!), in any other situation, it's a sign that you're just not trying. Pay attention to their interests and shop accordingly.
Being thoughtful when meeting someone new significantly contributes to a positive first impression by demonstrating genuine interest, active listening, and a caring attitude. A 2023 study found that thoughtfulness is often expressed through non-verbal cues like maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and leaning in to listen, which convey attentiveness and engagement.
5. Show an interest in their lives
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The tip above will be way easier to execute if you're already engaging his family members in convos about their hobbies and interests. Is his big sis into cruises and country music? Sit through a slideshow of her vacation pics, or go line dancing with her when she extends the invite.
Is his dad a runner? Travel up to Boston to cheer him on when he runs the annual marathon. If you show any interest in them, they'll be more willing to learn more about you, even if your hobbies consist of hoop dancing.
6. Control yourself
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Give his family some time to warm up to you before letting your freak flag fly. Controlling yourself, mainly through effective self-regulation and emotional management, is crucial for making a positive first impression.
This demonstrates composure, trustworthiness, and social competence, allowing you to adapt your behavior and read social cues effectively to fit the situation. A 2020 review on impression management in psychology highlights the deliberate effort to control how you present yourself to others, and self-regulation is a key component of this process.
7. Really. Control yourself.
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On some deep, subterranean level, his mom is well aware that you've already seen each other undressed. On a regular basis. But she'd rather put that out of her mind. So don't throw her son's bedroom activities in her face while exchanging pleasantries over cups of tea.
Put the kibosh on any gratuitous PDAs. Refrain from draping yourself across your man's lap. Save the smooches for later. And definitely don't use any tongue.
8. Accept their advice graciously
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It can be easy to get defensive when his parents give unsolicited advice, but try to understand where they're coming from. Chances are they're doing it because they care, because they have more life experience behind them, and because they truly want to help.
Their "meddling" does not necessarily mean that they're passing judgment on you. (Or at least that's what you should tell yourself.) Accepting advice from someone, especially when done genuinely and respectfully, can significantly contribute to a positive first impression by demonstrating openness, humility, and a willingness to learn.
This makes the other person feel valued and respected for their expertise. A 2011 study explained that while accepting advice can be beneficial, constantly asking for input without providing your perspective can make you appear overly dependent or lacking in confidence.
9. Don't be critical of your partner
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It can be tempting to take part in the hardcore teasing his family subjects him to but tread lightly. You could be crossing a major line.
When conversing with his mother, especially, try to remind yourself that this woman gave birth to your now-hottie, and has raised him for the past 30 years. If she senses that you are a threat to her baby, she will cut you.
10. And, for the love of God, don't be critical of them
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If they have religious or political beliefs that are wildly divergent from your own, just let it go. If they want to engage you in a discussion don't hide your opinions, but don't try to convince them they're wrong. A smile and a "we'll have to agree to disagree on this one" will do just fine.
Avoiding critical behavior and instead presenting a positive, accepting attitude is a key factor in making a good first impression. This is primarily because it signals warmth, trustworthiness, and a desire to connect, which are generally perceived as desirable traits in initial encounters. Early research showed that positive body language, facial expressions, and a friendly tone of voice can quickly convey a positive impression, even before words are spoken.
Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and editor. She's been featured in Playgirl, Time Out New York, American Curves, New York Press, Nerve, and other publications.