5 Weird Sounds Narcissists Make When They Realize You’re About To Leave Them
They can go from monotone robots to fire breathing dragons in seconds.
fizkes | Shutterstock Those of us who have dated a narcissist are all too familiar with the patterns — the silent treatment, the sudden rage, the gaslighting, or the guilt-tripping — especially when they’re upset. However, beyond their words and actions, there’s something else that often slips under the radar: the sounds they make when they realize you're slipping out of their control.
These calculated noise responses are often meant to manipulate, intimidate, or guilt you into staying. Narcissistic abuse coach Danish Bashir took to Instagram to share some of the bizarre sounds narcissists make when they know you are about to leave them.
Here are 5 weird sounds narcissists make when they realize you’re about to leave them:
1. Their voice switches from childlike to monstrous in a single sentence
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“One second they’re speaking in a high-pitched, helpless voice: ‘Please, I need you, I’ll change, I’ll die without you. Then suddenly, their voice drops into a low, slow, controlled threat. ‘Go on then. Let’s see how far you get without me,’” Bashir explained. “They want to show you how many faces they can wear in seconds. And behind all of them, there’s only one truth: manipulation.”
Narcissists understand how tone affects emotion and perception, and changing their tone from childlike to monstrous allows them to throw you off and shift the emotional dynamic.
2. Their breathing turns into snarling
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When you are not responding the way a narcissist would like you to, they may resort to measures that will catch you off guard. Like a tantruming child, their breathing may get quicker, and they may even snarl like a dragon about to breathe fire.
“It doesn’t sound like someone trying to regulate emotion. It sounds like someone trying to contain a storm,” Bashir shared.
Research suggests that narcissists often struggle with emotional regulation due to difficulties in recognizing and processing emotions, particularly negative ones.
They also have a tendency to react with anger when they feel threatened — like when they know you are about to leave and they will no longer be able to control you.
3. A robotic tone of voice that sounds scripted
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Even though a robotic tone of voice may come across as calm, don’t let it fool you. It’s a calculated tactic they use to make you believe everything is fine — when, in reality, it’s anything but.
“Their calm is meant to provoke guilt. It’s meant to make you feel like the unstable one. But beneath it is pressure. Cold rage hiding under fake grace,” Bashir shared. “And if you dare to walk away, you’ll soon find that calm replaced with rage-filled texts, smear campaigns, and silent punishment.”
With narcissists, calmness and robotic calm should set off alarm bells since you are so accustomed to them reacting with screaming and insults.
4. Possessed humming
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According to Bashir, this humming acts as a shield for narcissists and a way for them to disconnect from the humiliation of being left while pretending to still be in control.
They are not hearing you while hearing everything. When they start humming, you may no longer be speaking to someone in the present. You’re confronting a mask that’s been detached from its host.
Narcissists are often masters of masking behavior, where they use a neutral or bizarre reaction, such as humming, to keep themselves from showing any perceived weakness. And in a moment where they know they are losing control over you, they will do anything to conceal their vulnerability.
5. Long throat clearing
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Being with a narcissist often means your body feels things before your mind does. When you break it to a narcissist that you are leaving them, and they begin clearing their throat — initially soft but louder each time — it can mean that they already sense your detachment but haven’t quite found the words to reassert control.
According to Bashir, clearing of the throat is a classic control tactic performed by narcissists. “[It is] a primal noise that says, ‘I’m still here. Look at me. Feel me. Respond to me,’” he explained.
“It’s the equivalent of a dog marking its territory — not out of affection, but insecurity. That clearing of the throat isn’t clearing anything. It’s establishing dominance in silence.”
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
