8 Basic Life Skills They Don't Teach Kids In High School But Absolutely Should, According To Experts
Imagine a school system designed to produce complete, fully-functional humans.
Kaboompics.com | Canva As we stand before the result of decades of defunding education until it is a shell devoid of impact, we are also at the brink of the possibility of designing a more equitable education system that produces complete, fully functional, well-adjusted adults.
By teaching basic life skills to kids in high school that go behind academia, we may be closer to achieving an educational system that is not designed to produce complacent factory workers, but education for real life in the real world, where interpersonal relationships and emotional intelligence are more marketable than offering unquestioning obedience.
Here are basic life skills they don't teach in high school but should, according to experts:
1. How to enrich their lives
Yakobchuk Viacheslav vis Shutterstock
Life management consultant Ruth Schimel recommends among the many topics that would give students a focus to enrich and improve their everyday lives are resolving conflict, understanding nutrition, and determining their priorities as their situations change.
2. How to network
Monkey Business Images via Shutterstock
Sometimes, just as significant as what you know is who you know. A relationship development and networking course should include instruction on developing real professional and personal connections, recommends life and relationship coach Sidhharrth S Kumaar.
3. How to resolve conflict
pikselstock via Shutterstock
Coach Kumaar continues to recommend a class in conflict resolution. Without exploding or shutting down, how can a person control their emotions to deal with rejection, handle criticism, and negotiate challenging conversations?
4. How to control expectations
Rawpixel.com via Shutterstock
Love is not like the movies. Knowledge about the way relationships require work, patience, and development helps a person prevent disappointment later in life, concludes coach Kumaar
5. How to have empathy and self-awareness
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
Clinical psychologist Ellen Luborsky knows high school students must learn physics and calculus, but they also need to learn empathy and understanding of others, as well as self-awareness. Those abilities will prove essential in coping with life.
6. How to regulate emotions
DimaBerlin via Shutterstock
High schools should teach emotional regulation as part of the mandatory curriculum, states career and life coach Lisa Petsinis. It’s an essential skill that impacts mental health and overall well-being. Today, many students graduate without learning how to manage emotions, such as frustration and sadness, and this can lead to undue stress, interfere with relationships with others, hinder success at school and work, and thwart the achievement of life goals.
At the onset of the pandemic, many schools introduced mindfulness, but these efforts have since been limited or inconsistent. This skill should be a fundamental part of education, not just taught in response to a crisis.
A thorough emotional regulation program should teach self-awareness, empathy, self-regulation techniques, problem-solving, social skills, and effective communication strategies. A key part of this is building emotional vocabulary and the ability to recognize and name their emotions – often called “name it to tame it.” This would empower students to manage their emotions effectively, navigate challenges with resilience and optimism, and contribute to a more emotionally intelligent and compassionate society.
7. How to recognize manipulative personalities
SynthEx via Shutterstock
Relationship coach Donna Andersen realizes high school students need to be taught about manipulative personality disorders. A big reason why so many people fall prey to sociopaths, narcissists, and psychopaths is because they don't know about them.
They don't know that people can be charismatic, charming, exciting — and exploitative. Plenty of survivors have told me that they didn't know sociopaths existed and asked why isn't this taught in high school.
I have done presentations for high school and college students. As I describe sociopathic behavior, many students' eyes are wide open in shock. But invariably, a few students came up to me afterward to tell me about their own experiences.
Yes, it can happen to young people, because sociopaths, both male and female, typically begin their exploitative behavior around puberty. Knowing how to spot and escape sociopaths will protect students while they are young and for the rest of their lives.
8. How to recognize even the subtlest forms of bullying
Prostock-studio via Shutterstock
Therapist Larry Michel knows how bullying shows up in many forms:
- Verbal behaviors — name-calling, teasing, taunting, judgments, and verbal threats.
- Social bullying — purposeful exclusion, spreading rumors, telling kids not to be friends with others, and public embarrassment.
- Physical bullying — hitting, kicking or pinching, spitting, tripping or pushing, taking or breaking someone's possessions, and mean and rude gestures.
We think of bullying as being a problem our children encounter as they grow up. Yet, as adults, one or more of these behaviors could be a daily occurrence.
For example, someone drives into your lane on the freeway. You honk your horn. They flip you off. You return the sentiment. Then not-so-creative verbal assaults follow. Oops, did you forget that your kids were in the car? They conclude, "This means it must be OK to retaliate if someone gets in their way in the hallway at school."
A school might promote anti-bullying while also using bullying tactics and competing against parental behavior. As editor Ashlee Thomas points out, maybe we should start teaching all this in elementary school? Maybe we need a little less standardized testing and a lot more sharing circles, mindfulness classes, and group hands-on work like community gardening.
Then, students could ideally have self-awareness and empathy as they enter high school. High school could be about learning real world adult preparedness, where students study mathematics and how to cook yummy meals for $3. They learn chemistry and how to save money. They learn about global events and what to do if you accidentally flood your first apartment.
Imagine a school system designed to produce complete humans and not a collection of scattered stones skipping across the gaps in their education.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.