Husband Asks If He’s Wrong For Telling His Pregnant Wife She’s Not ‘Worthy’ Of Getting A Brand New Car As A Push Present
He felt that her insistence on receiving such a large gift for doing something many people do was uncalled for.
StoryTime Studio | Shutterstock A new trend that has become popular on social media is push presents — gifts that are given to women after they give birth. The gifts can range from sentimental jewelry marking the occasion and simple gifts of love to say thank you. Like any trend, some are embracing it, while others find it odd.
One man's wife asked him for what most people would consider an extravagant push present, leading him to conclude that he belonged to the latter group. In fact, in response to her request for a new car, he told her that becoming a parent was her gift.
A wife asked her husband for a push present by showing him a clip from a podcast.
A husband and soon-to-be father shared his unique situation on Reddit. He said that he and his wife of five years were expecting their first child, and his wife believed she deserved some recognition.
“[A] few days ago, she sends me a TikTok video of a woman over one of those extremist podcasts talking about deserving some kind of a ‘push present,’” he explained. “At first I didn’t even know what that meant. But when I looked it up, it’s basically a thank-you gift to the woman who brought your child into the world.”
The husband could not wrap his mind around the concept of receiving a material gift for the act of giving birth.
“I understand seeking appreciation from your husband for what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth, but it’s the materialistic part that gave me the ick,” he admitted.
The podcaster in TikTok talked about different push-present options, like tattoos, houses, and cars.
“The decision to bring a child in the world is both partners’ decision,” he went on to say. “My wife in our case is not forced to be a mom or be pregnant, as she wants to be a parent too.”
Since he was not comfortable with the idea of a push present, he treated the video with the levity he thought it deserved.
“I simply replied to the TikTok with laughing emojis and moved on, thinking it was the end of it and probably thought she meant to send that TikTok as satire, like, ‘Oh, look how dumb this woman is, thinking she deserves all that.’”
His wife did not appreciate his view on push presents.
“She was in the other room when I reacted to the video, so she comes to me and tells me that she doesn’t expect a tattoo and a house exclusively for her, but she wants me to dip into my personal savings to get her a car exclusively for her,” he shared.
He couldn’t believe his wife was being serious. “I thought she was joking, and I pressed her if she was actually serious,” he said. “She got very annoyed that I thought she was joking and probably imitating the entitled woman on the reel and she flatly said that she expects a real push present.”
That’s when the husband said something he regretted.
“She kept pushing and pushing and asked me if I think she’s not worthy enough. I told her she is worthy as my partner and the mother of my child, but she has to be realistic and realize that none of us, individually speaking, is worthy of what she’s asking for,” he said.
“It came out wrong but I didn’t mean to dismiss her as a person,” he insisted.
Many women have come to expect push presents.
While some may still be unsure about the idea of push presents, others think they should be commonplace. A poll from The Bump found that 34% of those surveyed received a push present, and 38% wished they had.
According to The Bump, push presents are “definitely not required,” but still a nice way to show your appreciation for the person who went through carrying and giving birth to your new baby.
Although push presents may be gaining popularity, they are certainly not a cultural norm.
No one should ever feel pressured to give another a gift. As long as the mother knows how much what they did means to you, skipping out on the push present is probably okay.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.