New Dad Refuses To Buy His Wife's Agreed-Upon 'Push Present' After She Loses Her Job
He wants to prioritize financially taking care of their newborn daughter instead of spending unnecessary money on a gift.
Natalia Deriabina | Shutterstock A "push present" is a gift given to a new mother by their partner to celebrate the birth and recognize the strength it took to bring their child into the world. It doesn't need to be anything extravagant — more so a meaningful keepsake to celebrate the mom's hard work.
One husband on Reddit opened up about potentially being the bad guy after he changed his mind about the push present he planned to buy, making his wife cry.
He refused to buy his wife the jewelry she wanted as a 'push present' after she lost her job.
In his since-deleted post, he explained that he and his wife Ashley recently welcomed their baby girl, and while she was pregnant, the two of them agreed that he would buy her a specific piece of jewelry with their daughter's birthstone as a "push present."
Anna Kraynova | Shutterstock
He found the term to be a bit "tacky" but genuinely wanted to do something to honor everything his wife went through to bring their daughter into the world. However, the purchase of the push present ended up taking the backseat after he found out his wife lost her job.
"The issue is that after that conversation [about the push present], Ashley was let go from her job because she punched her boss in an airport resulting in a black eye and criminal charges," he wrote.
Since then, it's been stressful in their house as they're now unexpectedly living on one income with a newborn to take care of.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
On top of that, his wife has to appear in court and face the assault charge, so he's left to balance their baby and help his wife find employment elsewhere.
The topic of the assault has also become a point of contention because his wife feels strongly that she didn't do anything wrong and was defending herself after her boss provoked her on purpose. He doesn't agree.
The couple thankfully had money saved up to cover their bills, but he didn't want to spend any frivolous money.
"I didn't buy the gift because it didn't seem like a good time to be spending money on jewelry," he wrote. "We do have decent savings, and I make good money, but still."
His concerns are valid, especially since their financial situation changed considerably since they initially discussed the push present.
Before anything else, the couple should prioritize making sure their bills are paid, and they can financially provide for their daughter.
But here's the wrench. According to the CDC, 10-20% of women experience a depressive episode following childbirth. While we can't be certain that this new mom is struggling, it's not out of the realm of possibility and should make the husband a bit more sympathetic to her feelings.
That doesn't mean he should spend beyond their means to make her smile, but he could approach the situation differently and offer her alternatives to the original birthstone idea. It's the thought that counts, after all.
A piece of jewelry can be bought at any time, and despite his wife's reaction to him choosing not to buy it now, he can always surprise her with it as a Christmas gift or her next birthday present. He could also buy her a less expensive — but equally meaningful — piece of jewelry to commemorate the occasion.
She argued that she's already been punished enough with the loss of her career, but her husband might be making the right call for them in the long run. It wouldn't be a good thing if they found themselves in debt over a piece of jewelry.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.