Woman Furious After Finding Out Her Husband Is Paying For Her Engagement Ring From Their Joint Account — 'I'm Paying For A Gift He Gave Me'
If all they have is a joint account, how else are they supposed to pay for things?
Pixel-Shot / Shutterstock Many couples hold engagement rings in high regard. They are, after all, a symbol of your love and devotion to one another. Engagement rings also have some traditional gender stereotypes attached to them.
One woman couldn’t get past a rather archaic mindset about her ring and it's causing a strain in her relationship.
A woman found out funds from her and her husband’s joint account were being used to pay for her engagement ring.
A woman posted on Reddit to find out if she was in the wrong after having what she described as “a huge argument” with her new husband.
“My husband … and I … have been married for just under three months and have been having a huge argument about my engagement ring,” she said.
“We got married one month into him proposing to me. It wasn’t a fancy wedding and we had our honeymoon right after we signed the papers at the courthouse,” she stated. “He gave me a diamond engagement ring that’s close to $8,000 — a two-carat lab diamond. He didn’t have funds available readily as we are saving for a home, so he put this ring on a payment plan.”
This payment plan would come back to haunt her husband.
She continued, “I found out after we married and merged our finances that he has been withdrawing funds from our joint account (we make roughly the same) to finance this ring. I was just taken aback and honestly put off by the fact he is making me pay for a gift he gave to me.”
Her husband doesn’t understand why she’s so upset, especially given the environment we live in today.
“We have been having some arguments lately and he feels that [a] ring is a wedding expense and it’s only fair that I contribute towards it too, and that as a woman of this day, I shouldn’t hesitate to be an equal partner,” she wrote.
This woman was not happy with her husband’s response.
“An engagement ring is considered a gift in most modern societies even today, and I don’t care if you disagree with that, it’s just what the cultural expectations are,” she said. “We never discussed if he had any issues with that. Maybe if he was an adult enough, I would’ve had a discussion about how it makes him feel and see if his values about tradition align with mine.”
She had another big issue with the ring. “Second, I’ve unintentionally partially paid for two installments now, which makes me a part-owner of the ring,” she pointed out.
Other Redditors had to point out an uncomfortable truth for the woman.
While this woman was furious that she had been paying for her ring, several people in the comments had to point out the obvious to her.
“If your accounts are joined, how else is he supposed to pay for things?” one person asked.
“Do you guys have separate bank accounts and … a joint account, or just a joint account?” someone else asked. “Because if you only have the joint account, you are technically gonna be partially paying for every gift you receive.”
A bride can certainly contribute to her engagement ring if she wants to.
While it is traditional for an engagement ring to be a gift to a bride, it doesn’t have to be. Larson Jewelers said that it is perfectly acceptable to take “a more modern approach.”
Perhaps even more importantly, they added, “As with any big purchase, it is prudent to talk to your significant other about it. Budgeting and communication is key to a successful wedding. Setting your expectations up front will make not only your wedding planning but married life together more successful.”
It seems like what really caused the drama in this relationship was not a ring, but a lack of communication.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.