Woman Wonders If She Was Wrong To Say She's 'Jealous' Of Her Future Sister-in-Law's Engagement Ring After It Hurts Her Husband's Pride
She promised that she never meant to hurt her husband's feelings.
Comstock Images from Photo Images via Canva Pro A woman wondered if she's in the wrong after fawning over her future sister-in-law's engagement ring, which didn't sit right with her husband.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," she shared that her husband's reaction to what she told her sister-in-law about getting engaged caused her to reevaluate whether or not she should've said it in the first place.
She told her future sister-in-law she was 'jealous' of her engagement ring, which hurt her husband's pride.
In her Reddit post, she explained that she and her husband have been married for eight years, and when he proposed, he told her that he could either give her a really nice ring or put a down payment on a house for the two of them. She chose the home, which she doesn't regret since buying a house nowadays is almost impossible.
On top of that, she admitted that she is quite satisfied with the ring her husband proposed with. Recently, though, her husband's brother got engaged and her future sister-in-law was showing off the engagement ring.
On the way home after seeing the ring, she began fawning over it with her husband.
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She ended up telling her husband, "I'm so jealous," which immediately made her husband upset. She tried to calm him down, promising she didn't mean it in the way that he took it, but the damage was seemingly already done.
"I'm also jealous of rich people with 5 houses and a private jet but that doesn't mean I expect my husband to provide me with five houses and a private jet, it's just a feeling. I'm also jealous of our dog who gets to nap all day and never worry about anything. I explained all this to him and he was still mad and said I shouldn't have said anything and it makes him feel like he can't provide for me," she recalled.
She ended up apologizing a few days later, but she noticed that he was still stewing over her remark, and she pointed out that it was getting annoying because of how he wouldn't just let it go.
"I tried to bring it up again and he said I just need to leave it alone and then added, 'I'm entitled to my feelings just like you're entitled to your jealousy.'"
People were divided on whether or not she was wrong to say that remark to her husband, and how she handled his hurt feelings.
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"Especially since you said it to him, not her. That means you did not just say it to the fiancée to flatter her, but you actually wanted your husband to know that you wish you had something bigger than he got you," one Reddit user wrote.
Another user added, "Stop invalidating his feelings! Your careless statement hurt them, you defending your position rather than acknowledging your mistake made it worse, and your demands that he be over it faster are reopening the healing wound. For once, in what seems like your entire relationship, just show some empathy and let him recover from the pain you caused."
However, others sided with her and claimed that she clearly didn't mean the comment to be malicious, and that she shouldn't feel bad at all for hurting her husband's feelings since it wasn't done intentionally.
"Apparently the ring is a sore spot with your hubby... but you had a choice ring or house, and you made it... tell him you're glad you chose [a] house and you get to live there, and if he's really that bothered by the ring, he's going to have to get over it," a third user chimed in.
Even if she didn't intend to hurt his feelings, this wife should be more empathetic to her husband.
At the end of the day, this woman's remark, whether she meant to or not, hurt her husband's feelings.
In any type of relationship, whether it's romantic or platonic, you should be validating the emotions of those around you, especially if they feel wounded by something you've said. You may not understand their anger or hurt, but that doesn't quite matter.
Even if she feels that what she said shouldn't be made into such a big deal, it's her job to remedy the damage and allow her husband time to get over it on his own. Having a healthy dialogue together could bridge the gap and help him understand that the remark really wasn't meant to be malicious in any way, but getting angry at her husband for still being upset won't solve anything.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.