Husband Demands That His Wife Handle All Of The IVF Costs Since She's The 'Cause' Of Their Infertility Problem
She was shocked that her husband would say such cruel words to her instead of offering support.
gawrav | Canva Pro A woman questioned if she was overreacting after her husband insisted that he shouldn't have to shell out thousands of dollars for IVF treatments so that the two of them could finally have a baby together.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITAH, she claimed that her husband's attitude about their future family plans had her feeling hurt and hopeless.
A husband demanded that his wife pay for all of the IVF costs since she was the 'cause' of their infertility.
"I have been married to my husband for 13 years. We've been trying for so long to have a child but haven't been able to do it. We've tried many methods, and nothing worked," she began in her Reddit post.
She explained that one of her friends suggested that the two try IVF treatments. When she brought up the idea to her husband, he initially agreed but became hesitant after discovering how costly the entire process would be.
MART PRODUCTION | Pexels
According to Forbes, a single IVF cycle — defined as ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval, and embryo transfer — can range from $15,000 to $30,000, depending on the center and the patient’s individual needs.
Medications can also account for up to 35% of those charges.
She pointed out that while IVF treatments are expensive, and many Americans often can't afford to go through the entire process, she and her husband have enough savings.
When she spoke to him again about the option, he seemed less hesitant about going down that route and argued that the sessions weren't guaranteed to work and if they didn't, the two of them would've just wasted thousands of dollars for no reason.
andriano_cz | Canva Pro
When she reiterated how the two of them could comfortably afford the treatments without financial strain, her husband shocked her by claiming that he shouldn't have to handle the IVF costs at all.
"He looked at me intently [and] told me that logically, since I'm the cause of infertility, then he thought that I should handle the cost of IVF sessions by myself," she wrote.
He argued that he wasn't 'obligated' to pay for her medical needs.
Hearing her husband's words and insistence that since she was the reason they couldn't have children, she should be the one responsible for all of the costs, she immediately packed all of her things and left.
He hasn't reached out to her to apologize, and now she's receiving the brunt of the criticism from their family because he "had a right" to open up about his feelings without being met with contempt.
Alex Green | Pexels
To insinuate that his wife is the reason they couldn't have children was cruel.
Infertility is a common problem, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that it affects nearly one in five married girls or women between the ages of 15 and 49. It's considered a disease of the reproductive system and shouldn't ever be used as a throwaway comment to hurt someone in an argument, especially your wife.
To then put all of the financial responsibility on her when it's the two of them who want to have a baby, not just her, is extremely telling.
She definitely did the right thing in leaving. If he doesn't support her during this time, he'll likely have the same attitude if they were to start a family together.
Infertility is not a car crash; there isn't one person solely responsible for it, and no woman should ever feel shame or judgment, especially from their significant other.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.