7 Things Guys Never Tell The Women They Love (And Why It's OK)
Some things are meant to be kept a secret.
bernardbodo | Canvabernardbodo | Canva By Laura Lifshitz
Obviously, two partners shouldn't be hiding stuff from each other, especially two people who are monogamous and intimate. However, your partner doesn't need to know your every single waking thought and moment, believe it or not. There are some things that your partner won't tell you at all — or won't tell you unless asked — and that's OK.
A little mystery never hurt the romance — and by mystery, I mean mystery, not infidelity, addiction, money problems, or other huge relationship no-nos. The two of you should act as a unit, but this doesn't mean the two of you should lose your identities within each other. Think of it this way: if you forget who you are, how can you still be the amazing person your partner fell for? Makes sense.
Here are 7 things guys never tell the women they love, and why it's okay:
1. They got hit on today
Do you really need to know about every wink and longing look? No. If you do, you're insecure and controlling. All that counts is your partner didn't cheat on you, emotionally or physically.
2. They had an issue at work
This only matters if your partner is about to get laid off or happened to be fired . . . or perhaps if your partner really messed up at work. Even still, your partner may not tell you right away or at all until the issue really affects his or her job status. Why? Well, pride, essentially. He or she may feel disappointed as it is, so to disappoint you as well? That can be crushing.
3. They find someone attractive
We all find people attractive, but do we really need to point it out to our partner? That's a big fat no. Again, as long as your partner isn't acting out on this attraction, it's completely natural and normal.
4. They hide childhood/young adulthood pasts
Was your ex a partier? Did your ex cheat on their college girlfriend? Did your partner get severely bullied? Sure, you may know of these things . . . or honestly, you may not. It's not a measure of your relationship but an indicator that your partner needed to keep the past in the past. We can't be judged for what we did yesterday, but can for what we do today. It may be crushing to your partner to reveal such stuff to you and so there just may be some past things that you aren't privy to, and that's OK.
5. They had a fight with a friend
This isn't quite a secret but a "no-tell." Why? Well, again . . . it goes back to pride and perhaps not wanting to look foolish or talk about something that's upsetting. Usually, this is the sort of secret that will be revealed eventually when the party is willing to tell the whole sad story.
6. They didn't really love a gift or thing you did
Your partner may tell you how he or she loved the gift you bought for a birthday or perhaps how much they enjoyed a party or event the two of you did . . . but it's a lie. The person may have downright hated the gift or hated the concert/party/wherever . . . but the secret is worth keeping in order to make you happy. Again, sometimes it's best to just be quiet and say thank you.
7. They were overweight at one point
Again, this is something that a partner will most likely reveal but not right away — typically. Why? Again, it's a struggle of shame or pride. Your partner may fear you will be judgmental or perhaps not view him or her the same as you do now. It's silly and truly shouldn't be kept secret, but it may be and you can't be angry over that.
Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, intimacy, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.