10 Small Signs A Man Doesn't Take You Seriously, Backed By Research
If these signals sound familiar, he's not looking for anything serious.
Ayo Ogunseinde | Canva If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in my days of dating in a free market, it’s that men who don't take you seriously tend to behave differently from men who are looking for a wife. To a point, it’s not surprising. The situations are different, and the people who tend to approach women looking for stuff on the side aren’t always the “marriage type,” anyway.
A lot of women can't tell when a man isn't going to take her seriously since many guys aren’t honest about what they are looking for until they feel the woman is invested in them.
Here are the small signs a man doesn't take you seriously:
1. His thirst is real
Men looking for a mistress tend to be a lot thirstier than the guys who are looking for a wife. The reason why is they already have a wife at home, so they’re just looking for a hook-up and validation and therefore will act accordingly.
2. He won’t tell you his real name, where he works, or any serious information about him
Romanchini via Shutterstock.com
Most married men know loose lips sink ships. As a result, many will tiptoe around identifying information or scuttle conversations about their single status.
The more tight-lipped a man is about his life, the higher the chances are he’s looking for a mistress rather than a wife. Secrecy in relationships has a lasting impact on both people, according to studies in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin.
3. He acts creepy
A lot of married (or taken) men tend to forget how to flirt with a woman they aren’t married to. As a result, they tend to be clunky and klutzy when trying to flirt and end up coming off as creepy. Other married men tend not to see other women on the same level as their wives, which in turn means they may do things they'd never do to their wives, like send inappropriate pics.
4. He has a super-sophisticated game
You don’t end up married without having some kind of ability to charm a person into living with you. For guys who were always smooth operators, being married often adds nitro to the cocktail by giving them confidence. Yes, they can chat you up and you can reject them, but who cares? They have another woman at home waiting for them, and they know it.
5. He hides his wedding ring hand
Even when they aren’t wearing the ring, a lot of married men will instinctively hide their hand out of muscle memory alone. The reason why is obvious: they don’t want you to peep the tan line on their hand or don’t want you to see the ring.
6. There’s serious incongruence between you and him
I get this one a lot when married men hit on me. Most of the time, the married men who hit on me are extremely conservative and it makes total sense to me since I have bright pink hair.
Married men aren’t looking for a life partner, they’re looking for some variety, and that means they will be likely to look for someone who isn’t like their wife, as discussed in research on human sexual behavior from the APA.
If you notice he’s way older than you, way younger than you, way richer than you, or way more conservative than you, this is a sign he's looking for a mistress or a sidekick.
7. He tells you to keep things on the down low
Garets Workshop via Shutterstock
This is never a good sign. At best, he’s ashamed to be attracted to you. At worst, you are the side chick, and he’s trying to keep his main chick from finding out about you.
8. He heavily flaunts the “sugar daddy” side of things
Yes, a lot of guys looking for a side piece are looking for validation. So, they will often want the woman to “ooh” and “ahh” at the money he makes and might also employ money to keep the woman's mouth shut.
9. He regularly complains about what an unhappy marriage he has
A lot of men who are looking for mistresses or physical intimacy on the side will fish for willing women by decrying the state of their marriage to others, as explored by research from the APA. They do this in hopes you’ll sympathize with them and possibly end up in their beds as a result.
10. He mentions he’s married or taken, but still flirts with you
Do you need any other signs than this?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.