6 Behaviors That Suggest A Man's Got A Wandering Eye, According To Psychology
If these behaviors sound familiar, he might be sneaking around behind your back.
Emiliano Vittoriosi | Unsplash You have a sneaking feeling that something about your relationship just isn't right. He's been acting distant, moody, or even too nice. You don't want to go there but your mind just can't help it: could he have a wandering eye?
No one likes to think that they're involved with a cheater, but it happens pretty frequently. According to a survey conducted by the University of Chicago, 22% of married men and 15% of married women admitted to having been unfaithful at least once. Think he's having an affair? These clues may help you determine whether or not he's being unfaithful.
Here are the behaviors that suggest a man's got a wandering eye:
1. He's suddenly jealous
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Some people are more suspicious than others, but if your mate is suddenly accusing you of being unfaithful, it's likely he's cheating. Why? Because now that he's cheating he knows you can do the same — and get away with it.
So if your normally healthy and happy mate is suddenly overwrought with unjustified jealousy, watch out. It could be that he's the one cheating on you.
2. He's a little too mysterious
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Mystery is a big draw in a new relationship. It's exciting to be with someone new; someone you don't know that well. Discovering who that person is and what they're all about is part of what makes new love so thrilling.
But if you're months or even years into the relationship and your mate is extremely vague about his past, work, friends, family — or just plain everything — beware. It could be that he's distancing himself from you emotionally subconsciously, or he's consciously withholding information to prevent getting caught in a lie. Either way, he's covering something up.
While a man's mysterious behavior can sometimes be associated with infidelity, it's not a guaranteed sign of a wandering eye. Research suggests that individuals, especially in relationships, might unconsciously display behaviors associated with a wandering eye, even without actively seeking other partners. These behaviors include increased attention to attractive others, even if they don't pursue them, and a tendency to devalue or de-emphasize their current partner.
3. He talks to every woman he lays eyes on
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Ever date a guy who talked to every woman he laid eyes on? You know the type: you'd leave him for five minutes at a party and return to find him flirting with another woman.
Or there's the guy who knows a lot of women and happens to run into them all the time. Kind of makes you stop and think. Or at least it should.
A guy who has a lot of girlfriends or seems to know every woman within a 50-mile radius should be handled with extreme caution. Now, a lady's man isn't necessarily a cheater, but you should consider whether or not you can handle the constant competition.
4. He overcompensates
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If a cheater has even half a heart, he feels guilty for cheating. To compensate for the guilt, he acts extra nice. Think lots of "I love yous," flowers, and presents for no reason.
We're not suggesting that every time a man does something nice it's a sign he's cheating on you, but if suspicious behavior is immediately followed by a syrupy sweet gesture, that's a red flag. Not only is he trying to ease his conscience, but he's also trying to distract you into thinking everything is okay.
A man might seek attention or validation outside of his relationship if he feels disconnected from his partner or his needs aren't being met. Research also suggests that the forbidden fruit theory can explain why men are drawn to things they don't have access to or are perceived as more desirable.
5. He spends an inordinate amount of time at work
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When people think of the typical cheater, they probably think of the guy who puts in long hours at the office but is carrying on an affair. Well, there's a reason why that stereotype exists.
Cheaters use work to cover up their infidelity because people don't usually question it. It's the perfect excuse to come home late, go away on business, and put in extra hours on the weekend.
Just because your mate works non-stop definitely does not make him a cheater, but as we said, work can be used as an excuse. If he's working all the time and doesn't seem to have any energy left for your relationship, something needs to change.
6. Your friends drop hints
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There are few constants when it comes to love and relationships, but there is one thing you can count on your friends. You may not want to hear what they're saying about the person you love, but they are usually right.
So if your friends are dropping hints, "Don't you think it's weird he works all the time?" or "What's up with him and his ex?" stop and listen. Dealing with a cheater for a mate is undeniably difficult, but if you have friends who care about you enough to point it out, you can overcome anything.
Research suggests that men may be biologically predisposed to be more visually stimulated and receptive to a broader range of potential partners. However, this doesn't mean it's inevitable or excusable. Modern relationships are built on emotional intelligence, communication, and respect, crucial in maintaining fidelity.
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