I'm A Mom, And I Still Get Mad When Your Kid Is Loud On A Flight — 'Children Should Not Be Obnoxious In Public Places'
Flying is stressful enough, then you add bad parenting.
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Being a mother has changed me in so many ways. For one, I'm less likely to curse under my breath while driving, mostly because my toddler is in the car, and not because I think the guy who cut me off is any less of a moron. I've also learned to embrace things like messes and sleepless nights and put my nice clothes at the back of the closet in favor of things I will happily get stains on.
One thing motherhood hasn't changed about me is my belief that children should not be obnoxiously loud in public spaces, especially not on planes.
Let me be very clear, I'm not referring to behavior that should be expected. Babies, in general, get a pass because they're, you know, babies, and they're not very good at the whole reasoning thing.
A baby or small child who is crying because they're scared or their ears hurt from the pressure doesn't bother me. Neither does the occasional seat kick or overly excited giggle. Children are allowed to make noise because they're tiny humans.
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What isn't acceptable parenting is letting kids run amok on a flight.
As the mother of a 2-year-old who is, shall we say, "spirited," I know it's hard keeping them confined to a seat for hours. The energy can feel overwhelming, but just because it's hard doesn't mean your child should be running laps down the aisle, screaming at the top of their lungs, or doing what feels like a four-hour tap dance on the back of my seat.
For a recent flight, I had spent a lot of time worried my son's electronics would disturb other passengers since he refused to wear headphones. But he didn't mind if we kept it to a practically inaudible level while flying because no one likes to hear someone else's TV shows.
Despite our concerted efforts to restrict my son's volume, about two aisles up was an older child playing video games with an attached speaker. I had to listen to him struggle through level 10 of whatever game he was playing for three hours. The dad was watching sports on his device, clearly not caring that his son's volume was louder than an IMAX.
While I understand kids, and even some adults, need to make noise on a flight from time to time and many kids can't help it, I do not understand parents who feel free to check out.
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Parenting coach Mia Von Scha starts with the question, "How often do our children go through something, and instead of responding to their need, we make it all about us, about our fear and pride and needs and worries?
And when we do that, we divorce ourselves from the moment and our real children. The solution is never in punishing or panicking, but in connecting, deeply and without judgments of either them or ourselves."
Parents: You need to be more aware of what your kids are doing, especially on planes.
If I put in the time and effort to make sure my kid behaves and doesn't disturb others, you better believe I expect the same from you. Your silence speaks volumes about their behavior, and you should care more.
If a child is kicking the back of my seat, I will happily let it slide a handful of times. But if they continue to kick my seat for the entire duration of the flight, that's not their fault — it's yours. Screaming school-age kids is just mind-boggling because no one needs to be talking at that volume, and after a few hours on a plane, nothing is funny. Calm them down. It's your job.
Von Scha continues, "It is not about you. It is not even about your children. It is about life presenting itself in millions of beautiful ways to see how present you can be with its infinite variety, how peaceful you can be with the changing scenery, and how connected you can be with yourself and with the children who have come to raise you."
When we purchase our plane tickets, everyone hopes for a certain amount of comfort and privacy. It may be reasonable to not expect any legroom in coach, but there's no reason our fellow passengers have to make travel even more of a challenge by letting their children dominate the plane.
Laurel Niedospial is a PopSugar contributor.